Shades of Earl Grey

Delaine’s watch and plant it in Claire’s desk?”

“Oh please,” snapped Aerin, “that was child’s play. Delaine’s house is a cat burglar’s dream and the Heritage Society kindly invited me in on a jewelry appraisal. Convenient, no?” Smug and cold, Aerin’s grin was hideous.

She turned suddenly and ripped five rows of plastic-encased stamps from Drayton’s album. Still keeping an eye on Theodosia, Aerin backed slowly across the room until her hips connected with the window ledge. Then she sat down and swung one leg over the ledge with ease.

“I’d really love to stay and gab,” she said. “But I’ve got far better things to do. My car’s just down the block and the trunk’s filled with loot . . . including that antique ring you’ve been so hot and bothered about.”

Theodosia waited until Aerin had completely swung around and was about to drop to the ground.

“Earl Grey, attack!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.

Earl Grey came hurtling out of the closet like a silver streak. He rocketed across the room, his front paws barely skimming the windowsill as he sailed through the window frame. As Aerin Linley dropped to her feet, Earl Grey smashed into the back of her like a freight train. Eighty pounds of well-muscled canine heeding the command of his beloved mistress.

Aerin Linley screamed sharply even as she went down like a rock. The letter opener flew from her hand and made a dull clink on one of the patio stones.

As Theodosia ran toward the window, her hand instinctively reached out and grabbed the bottle of superglue from Drayton’s desk. Then she had one foot on the window ledge and was clambering out herself.

On the ground below, Aerin was struggling mightily with Earl Grey, batting at him furiously, her hands balled into fists.

“Get off, you horrible mutt!” she screamed. “Get off!”

Theodosia dropped to the ground, stumbled forward, felt the sting of gravel cut into her palms and knees. She rolled, scooped up the letter opener that lay gleaming on the patio stones, found the bottle of superglue that she’d dropped, and scrambled over to the struggling mass of dog and woman. Now she pointed her finger at Aerin’s neck.

“Hold tight!” she commanded the dog.

Earl Grey promptly clamped his wide jaws around Aerin Linley’s neck. He didn’t sink his teeth into her flesh, but he held her very, very firmly, just as Theodosia had commanded.

“Get this mangy creature off me!” Aerin Linley was screaming and carrying on like a banshee. Her face was beet red, her words a garbled cry. Her heels beat furiously against the pavement as her body squirmed and thrashed, struggling to throw the dog off.

Popping the top off the tube of superglue, Theodosia aimed the tip at Aerin’s hair. She squeezed, watched as a huge dollop of clear glue came squirting out.

Aerin’s eyes rolled wildly. “What are you doing, you idiot!” she cried as she continued to battle. “You’ll be sorry you . . .” Aerin Linley’s head suddenly stopped straining from side to side.

“My hair!” she screamed. “What’s wrong with my hair!”

“Ease off,” Theodosia commanded Earl Grey.

Panting heavily, pink tongue lolling out the side of his mouth, Earl Grey gazed at Theodosia, hungry for approval.

She reached down, patted him on the head. “Good dog. Verrry good dog.”

“What’d you do?” wailed Aerin Linley. “I can’t move my head! Help me, oh please, you’ve got to help me!”

The whoop whoop of the police siren was much closer now. It sounded a block away. Now it was directly in front of Drayton’s house.

“Help!” Theodosia yelled. She ran to the side fence, boosted herself up as best she could, and waved frantically, trying to capture their attention. “We’re in back!” she hollered. “Come quickly!”

Chapter 25

“Any injuries?” detective Burt Tidwell cocked an eye at the paramedic in his navy jumpsuit.

The paramedic, whose name tag read BENTLEY, shook his head, but the corners of his mouth kept twitching upward. It was obvious he was trying to remain professional. In other words, not burst out laughing completely.

“Slight puncture wounds,” responded Bentley. “Nothing that requires any serious medical treatment, even though your perp is complaining bitterly about what she refers to as dog bites.”

“The woman does seem quite unhinged,” offered Dray-ton. He had arrived home just minutes after the police cruiser arrived.

The police, at Theodosia’s urging, had contacted Detective Tidwell. And Drayton, of course, had immediately phoned Haley, who’d been trying to call Theodosia at home and was frantic to know what was going on. Not one to miss out on excitement, she immediately came dashing over.

Now they were all gathered in a conversational knot on the front walk of Drayton’s house, a few steps from where Burt Tidwell’s burgundy-colored Crown Victoria was parked at the curb.

“You say she’s unhinged,” said Tidwell to Drayton. “What a quaint assessment. So very Dr. Watson.”

“Hey,” piped up Haley as she stroked Earl Grey’s head. “Drayton is Dr. Watson. To Theodosia’s Sherlock, that is. Haven’t you figured that out by now?”

Tidwell smiled tolerantly.

“Your suspect’s hair condition is what’s really causing the problem,” continued the paramedic, Bentley. His eyes sought out Theodosia’s. “I don’t know what you squirted on her, lady, but it sure as heck is permanent. My partner and the other two officers are still trying to cut her off the pavement.”

Drayton’s eyes widened. “Cut her?”

“Well, her hair, anyway,” explained Bentley as he packed a roll of gauze and bottle of antiseptic back into his bag. “Looks like she’s gonna get a whole new look. Kind of patchy and choppy. That glue or whatever it was is pretty mean stuff.”

This time Drayton threw back his head and howled. “Don’t tell me you superglued Aerin Linley’s hair to my patio!” he exclaimed.

“How else could I subdue her?” said Theodosia. “She was thrashing around like a crazy woman. I certainly didn’t want to see Earl Grey get hurt.”

“God forbid,” said Tidwell as he rolled his eyes skyward. “And pray tell, while we’re on the subject, why exactly did you stage this elaborate little charade without benefit of any backup?”

Theodosia threw him a look that was pure innocence. “But I did have backup, Detective Tidwell. I had you. I always have you.”

“What she means is it’s comforting to know we can always count on our law enforcement professionals,” said Drayton, jumping into the fray and trying to derail Tidwell’s anger. “Thank you so very much, Detective Tidwell.”

Tidwell shook his head in bewilderment and gazed down at Earl Grey, who was sitting on his haunches and yawning contently, looking as though he’d just been through a typical, uneventful doggy evening. “I’m afraid the mayor doesn’t award certificates of appreciation to canines,” said Tidwell. “At least he hasn’t up until now. We’ll have to find some other way to honor the crime-fighting Earl Grey.”

“How about a free cup of Earl Grey tea to all our customers this week,” piped up Haley. “And we can put up his photo. With a big thank-you banner.”

“The dog that helped catch a cat burglar,” said Tidwell, and even he couldn’t resist a snicker.

“I’ve got a better idea,” said Theodosia. “Let’s all go in and have a cup of Earl Grey right now, instead of standing around shivering in the dark.”

“When you put it that way,” said Tidwell, “it sounds very inviting. The night is