split-second decision has me returning for something tiny that I keep stashed away in my sock drawer. I slip it into my purse.
I stop by New Seoul Garden, and Lindsey packs a bag of takeout, which causes the entire car—on both of the trains it takes to get to Berkeley—to smell. Whoops. I decide to be brave this time and call him when I reach his dormitory gates, but someone is leaving as I’m arriving, and it’s not necessary. I pass through the landscaped courtyard and the other doors just as easily.
And then I’m at
I lift my hand to knock as a girl laughs on the other side. My knuckles land against the wood in a tremble. Is that Jessica? Again?
The door pops open, and . . . it’s Anna.
“Hey, space cowgirl!” She’s already taken in the silver fringe dress and my red cowboy boots. For one nightmarish second, I’m consumed by suspicion, but the door swings back and reveals St. Clair. Of course. He and Cricket are sitting against the side of Cricket’s bed. And then Cricket Bell sees me, and the atmosphere
My soul lights up in response.
“Hi.” He springs to his feet. “Hi,” he says again.
“I was worried that you wouldn’t have time to eat lunch today.” I hold up the takeout as I notice a spread of empty Chinese boxes on the floor. “Oh.”
Anna gives me a gap-toothed grin. “Don’t worry. He’ll eat what you’ve brought, too.”
“His stomach is quite tall,” St. Clair says.
“And yours is so wee,” Anna says. He shoves her legs from his place on the floor, and she shoves his back. They’re like puppies.
Cricket gestures me forward with both arms. “Here, come in, sit down.”
I glance around. Every surface is covered.
“Uh, hold on,” he says. There’s a mound of school papers spread across the surface of his bed, which he bulldozes aside. “Here. Sit here.”
“We should go,” Anna says. “We just stopped by to feed Cricket and grill him about the Olympics. Did you know they’re in France this year?” She sighs. “I’m dying for a visit.”
Her boyfriend bites a pinkie nail. “And I’m trying to convince her that if Calliope makes the team, we should consider it a sign and take the holiday.”
I smile at Anna. “Lucky you.”
St. Clair turns toward Cricket and points an accusing finger. “I’m counting on you to ensure your sister wins at Nationals next weekend, all right?”
My heart selfishly plummets. Next weekend. More time away from Cricket.
“She only has to get one of the top three spots,” Cricket says. “But I’ll take out an opponent’s kneecap if I have to.”
Anna prods St. Clair’s shoulder. “Come on. Weren’t you gonna show me that thing?”
“What thing?”
She stares at him. He stares back. She cocks her head toward Cricket and me.
“Ah, yes.” St. Clair stands. “That thing.”
They rush out. The door shuts, and St. Clair shouts, “Lola, Cricket wants to show you his thing, too-oo!” They’re laughing as their feet echo down the hall.
Cricket hastily looks away from me and places the carton of Bibimbap in his microwave.
“Oh. I got something beef-y for you,” I say, because he’s heating the vegetarian dish first.
He shrugs and smiles. “I know. I saw.”
I smile, too, and sit on the edge of his bed. “So all three of you are going to France, and I’m staying here? Talk about unfair.” I’m only half kidding.
“You should come.”
I snort. “Yeah, my parents would definitely be cool with that.”
But Cricket looks thoughtful. “You know, Andy loves figure skating. If you had a free ticket, he might bite.”
“And where, exactly, would I find a free ticket?”
He sits beside me. “Courtesy of my great-great-great-grandfather Alexander Graham Bell, the world’s richest liar?”
I stop smiling. “Cricket. I could never accept that.”
He nudges one of my cowboy boots with one of his pointy wingtips. “Think about it.”
My foot tingles from the shoe-on-shoe contact. I nudge his shoe back. He nudges mine. The microwave beeps, and he hesitates, unsure if he should get up. I reach out and take his wrist, over his rubber bands and bracelets. “I’m not that hungry,” I say.
Cricket looks down at my hand.
I slide my index finger underneath a red bracelet. My finger brushes the skin of his inner wrist, and he releases a small sound. His eyes close. I twine my finger in and out of his bracelets, tying myself against him. I close my eyes, too. My finger guides us onto our backs, and we lie beside each other, quietly attached, for several minutes.
“Where’s Dustin?” I finally ask.
“He’ll be back soon. Unfortunately.”
I open my eyes, and he’s staring me. I wonder how long his eyes have been open. “That’s okay,” I say. “I came here to give you a late Christmas present.”
His eyebrows raise.
I smile. “Not
“How . . . belated of you?”
I roll back toward him. “Hold out your hand.”
He’s smiling. He does.
“I’m sure you don’t remember anymore, but several birthdays ago, you needed this.” And I place a tiny wrench into his palm. “Lindsey and I went everywhere to find it, but then . . . I couldn’t give it to you.”
His expression falls. “Lola.”
I close his fingers around the gift. “I threw away your bottle cap, because it killed me to look at. But I never could throw away this. I’ve been waiting to give it to you for two and a half years.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he whispers.
“I’m almost full,” I say. “Thank you for waiting for me, too.”
chapter thirty-one
The doorbell rings early the next Saturday. It wakes me from a deep slumber, but I immediately fall back asleep. I’m surprised when I’m being shaken awake moments later. “You’re needed downstairs,” Andy says. “Now.”
I sit up. “Norah? She was kicked out already?”
“Calliope. It’s an emergency.”
I tear out of bed. An emergency with Calliope can only mean one thing: an emergency with Cricket. We’ve been texting, so I know he planned to come home before leaving for Nationals. But his light was off when I got back from work last night. I couldn’t tell if he was there. What if he
“Is he okay? What happened? Where is he?”