As I pull up in front of the administration building, Rainey thanks me profusely and asks me to turn off the motor for a minute because she has something to tell me.
I do, knowing that she wants to start dating again. I have missed her. Amy, as cute as she is, can’t hold a candle to her. Rainey is solid gold and is worth whatever effort it costs to get her.
“I’m glad to help,” I say, wondering if I could get away with kissing her in front of the state hospital.
“What’s up?”
She pauses for a moment and holds up her left hand.
“I’m getting married!”
Finally, I see the ring. What an idiot I am! She practically rubbed my nose in it. My mouth goes dry, and there is no concealing my shock.
“You are?” I say, unable to utter anything intelligent.
Her blue eyes round and serious, she nods.
“December twenty-sixth.”
My mind is racing. I can’t seem to focus. Shit, why not make it Christmas Day? Kill two birds with one stone.
All these months I have assumed she hasn’t been seeing anyone in particular. When years ago we first began to date and had become serious, Rainey broke it off temporarily because an old boyfriend had resurfaced a big, hairy psychologist at the state hospital by the name of Norris Kelsey. Then, within weeks, she had ditched him and resumed our relationship, until one thing after an other seemed to kill it. The hard part is that I didn’t even realize she was seeing a guy. I feel utterly devastated. She and I have talked occasionally, but too late I realize that none of the conversations have been about her. Numb, I ask, “Do I know the guy?”
She smiles and reaches over and pats my hand.
“I don’t think so. Dennis Stanley. He’s never heard of you.”
About to explode in the heat, I unroll the window and rack my brain in vain for the name. The only Stanley I’ve ever heard of is the explorer. Dr. Livingston, I presume?
“What does he do?”
Rainey twists the ring on her finger. It is huge, now that I look at it.
“He’s a pediatrician. He’s five years younger. Never been married. He doesn’t care about having kids.”
A doctor who is younger! I could picture her with a guy that much older. This is too weird. It won’t last six months. She’ll go nuts worrying that she won’t be able to hold on to him.
“How long have you known him?” I can’t bring myself to congratulate her.
“Only for a couple of months,” she says, smiling.
“But I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”
This is outrageous! Nothing could be more out of character Rainey agonizes over things.
“Did you meet him at Christian Life?” I ask, knowing I sound childish. Her conversion to fundamentalist Christianity was the final straw as far as I was concerned. I could never understand how she could close her eyes to reality.
“He’s a Presbyterian,” she says, with just a trace of irony.
“He’s very tolerant.”
“You’ll never see each other,” I say, knowing I sound like an old curmudgeon.
“Gideon,” she commands, “be happy for me!”
I try to get a grip.
“It’s a little difficult at the moment since until two minutes ago I was thinking that you and I might try to get back together.” I know this is not the cool tiling to say, but I feel as if I had been kicked in the stomach by a mule.
“I’ve got to go,” she says, and puts her hand on the door.
I summon my best fake smile. I don’t want the whole damn staff of the state hospital feeling sorry for me.
“I’m real happy for you, Rainey. We’ll always be friends.”
Whether she believes me or not, she pretends that she does. Her lips come back from her teeth, and she says, “I know we will.”
I drive off, and get to the corner before I let myself feel anything. Damn her! On again, off again, on again, off again. She jerked me around like a yo-yo. I wipe my eyes and decide to go home instead of back to the office. I could stand a drink.
At the house, after getting into some shorts and taking Woogie out, I call the office and without any explanation tell Julia to see if she can postpone my four o’clock appointment.
I ice down a twelve-pack, and Woogie and I go into the backyard. It is delightfully warm. If I start drinking bourbon, I will be sick tomorrow, and I don’t want anyone to think I am bothered by this. I can hear Julia reminding Clan when she hears I’ve been dumped:
“He was a no-show the day after she told him.” Fuck all women, I think. I haven’t met a decent one since Rosa.
What made her so special? Guts. She had guts. Left her mother, learned English, came to Arkansas, passed the state nursing exam, got a job. Rosa was a class act. Instead of putting the empties back in the box, I drop them in the yard by my chair. To hell with what the neighbors think.
“Come here, boy,” I say to Woogie, who is sitting in the shade staring at me. Reluctantly, he gets up and ambles over toward me. I stroke his warm back. So warm. I take off my shirt. It is wonderful out here today.
In the eighties, a record for this time of year. Rosa never would have finked out like Rainey. When things got tough, Rosa didn’t run. I know I am getting drunk, but so what? It’s easier to remember Rosa when I’ve had a few…. I wake up and look at my watch. Almost four-thirty. I have been out here almost three hours. My face and chest feel on fire. I look down and see my stomach is pink as the inside of a salmon. Woogie, seeing I am awake, comes over to me and licks my hand. I must be a total idiot I will look like a lobster tomorrow. I count six empties, glad I have a six-pack left. Inside, I can hear the phone ringing and push myself up out of the cheap nylon webbing and lurch toward the house, Woogie at my heels. Rainey, I think stupidly, calling to say she has changed her mind.
“Hello,” I say, grabbing the phone in the kitchen and trying not to sound drunk.
“Dad?” Sarah says.
“Are you okay? I tried to get you at your office.”
“Rainey’s getting married!” I blurt.
“She is?” Sarah asks, her voice sounding far away.
“Dad, you must feel terrible. Who is she marrying?”
“Some doctor whose last name is Stanley,” I say, un able to keep tears from sliding down my face.
“I don’t know him.”
“Promise me you won’t drive anywhere tonight,” Sarah says.
“Get something to eat and go on to bed, okay? It will be all right.”
Do I sound that bad? I sigh, “I’m fine.”
“Check and see if there is a pizza in the freezer and fix that,” Sarah says.
“I’ll be home in two weeks. Remember, we’re going to Bear Creek, okay?”
Why? I think. I can’t wake up.
“Okay,” I say.
“Remember to feed Woogie and make sure he has water before you go to bed.”
Bed? It’s not even dark.
“I will,” I say irritably. It seems as if all the women I know treat me like a child. I hang up and look for Woogie’s dog food.
At six, after trying to get through a few bites of some stuff that tastes like frozen glue (it doesn’t seem cooked enough), I decide to call Amy. I know I shouldn’t, but damn it, I want to.
“You sound skunked,” Amy says cheerfully.
“Does it take that much nerve just to call and say you’re wrong?”
I try to choose my words carefully.
“You remember saying that you were jealous of Rainey McCorkle?”
