vanished frequently and made everyone nervous while he was gone.
The Briars went on, never changing, never still. I caught glimpses of various doors through the thorns, trods to places in the mortal world, doorways out of the Nevernever. Creatures seen and unseen skittered through the branches, furry or shiny or many-limbed, peering at us through the thorns. A giant centipede, over twenty feet long, clung to the roof of the tunnel as we drifted beneath it, close enough that we could hear the slow clicking of its huge mandibles. Thankfully, it didn’t seem interested in us, but Puck kept his daggers out for several miles afterward, and Grimalkin didn’t reappear for a long, long time.
Hours passed. Or days—it was impossible to tell. The Wolf and I were standing at the rear of the boat, watching an enormous snake glide through the branches overhead, when Ariella’s weary voice floated up from the front.
“There it is.”
I turned as the tunnel opened up into an enormous cavern made of thorns, the branches shutting out the sky. Tiny lights filled the cavern, floating in the air and bobbing over the dark waters like erratic fireflies. Torches stuck out of the river, some bent or leaning at odd angles, flickering with blue-and-orange flames. They lit the way to a massive stone temple looming at the end of the cavern. It rose from the dark waters past the ceiling of the cave, extending through the branches farther than we could see. Vines, moss and thorny creepers covered the crumbling walls, winding like possessive talons around pillars and laughing gargoyles. Even in a place as ageless as the Nevernever and the Deep Wyld, where time didn’t exist and
I took a deep, slow breath. “Did we make it?” I asked softly, unable to take my eyes from the massive wall of stone that loomed before us like the side of a mountain. “Is this the Testing Grounds?”
Beside me, Ariella shook her head. “No,” she whispered, almost in a daze. “Not yet, though I’ve seen this in my visions. The Testing Grounds lie beyond the temple. This is the gate to the End of the World.”
“Big gate,” Puck muttered, craning his neck to look up at it. No one answered him.
The River of Dreams continued, past the temple, into the thorns that surrounded the cavern, but the boat drifted lazily until it bumped against the huge stone steps that led up to the doors, and stopped.
“Guess this is our stop,” Puck said, and practically leaped out of the ferry onto the steps. “Whew, it’s nice to be back on solid ground again,” he mused, stretching as the rest of us followed, easily crowding onto the platform at the bottom. Grimalkin appeared from under one of the benches, minced to the bottom of the steps, and began rigorously washing his tail.
Gazing up the long flight of stairs to the temple, Puck shook his head and sighed. “Stairs.” He grimaced. “I swear there must be like some secret code.
I followed his gaze, frowning as I realized we weren’t alone. “Someone is up there,” I said quietly. “I can sense it. It feels … like it’s waiting for me.”
The rest of the group exchanged glances, except for Ariella, who stood a little apart, staring back at the river. “Well, then—” Puck sighed with exaggerated cheerfulness “—I guess it would be rude to keep it waiting.”
He and the Wolf and Grimalkin started up the stairs, but paused when I didn’t follow. “Uh, prince, aren’t you coming?” Puck said, glancing back at me. “Seeing as this is, you know, your party and all.”
“Keep going,” I said, waving them on. “We’ll catch up. Yell if something comes at you.”
“Oh, believe me, I will,” Puck said, and continued up the stairs, Grim and the Wolf leading the way.
I turned to Ariella, who still gazed out over the River of Dreams, not looking at me. “Ari,” I said quietly, stepping up behind her, “what is it?”
She was silent for several heartbeats, and I was beginning to wonder whether she’d heard me at all, when she took a shaky breath and closed her eyes.
“We’re almost there,” she whispered, and a shiver went through her. “I didn’t think it would be so soon. I guess … there’s no turning back now.”
“Ari.” I stepped closer, putting a hand on her arm. “Talk to me. I want to help you, but I can’t if you won’t let me in. I could—”
She turned suddenly, and before I could react, framed my face with her hands and pressed her lips to mine.
I froze, mostly in shock, but after a moment my body uncoiled and I closed my eyes, relaxing into her. I remembered this; the feel of her lips on mine, cool and soft, the touch of her fingers on my skin. I remembered her scent, those long nights when we would lie under the cold, frozen stars, dreaming in each other’s arms.
For a second, my body reacted instinctively. I started to pull us closer, to wrap my arms around her and return the kiss with equal passion … but, then I stopped.
I remembered this perfectly; every shining moment with Ariella was forever etched into my mind. What we’d had, what we’d shared, everything. I’d built a shrine to her in my memories, carefully tended with grief and anger and regret. I knew every inch of our relationship, the passion, the feeling of emptiness when we weren’t together, the longing and, yes, the love. I had been in love with Ariella. I remembered what she’d meant to me once, what I’d felt for her then …
… and what I didn’t feel for her now.
Gently, I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back, breaking the kiss. “Ari—”
“I love you, Ash,” she murmured before I could say anything more, and my stomach dropped. Her voice was quietly desperate, as if she was rushing to get it out before I could speak. “I never stopped. Never. Even when I knew you would fall for Meghan, when I was so angry I wished we were both dead, even then I couldn’t stop loving you.”
My throat closed. I swallowed hard to open it. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because I won’t get another chance,” Ariella went on, her eyes filling with tears. “And I know, after your promise to Meghan, after everything we went through to get here, I know you can’t turn back, but …” She pressed close, gazing up at me. “Do you still love me? I can’t … I need to know, before we go any farther. I deserve to know that much.”
I closed my eyes. Emotions swirled within me, guilt and sorrow and regret, but for once, my thoughts were clear. “Ariella,” I murmured, taking her hands in mine, feeling her pulse race. This would be hard to say, but I needed to get it out, and she needed to hear it. Even if she hated me in the end. “When I lost you that day, my life ended. I thought I would die. I wanted to die, but only after taking Puck down with me. The only thing I was living for was revenge, and I nearly destroyed myself, because I couldn’t let you go. Even when I met Meghan, I felt I was betraying your memory.
“But it’s different now.” I opened my eyes, meeting her starry gaze. “I regret a lot of things. I wish I could’ve been there for you, and I wish that day had never happened. But the thing I don’t regret, the one good thing that came out of it all, is
“Ari … I will always love you. I always have. Nothing will change that.” I squeezed her hand, then gently released it. “You’ll always be a part of me. But … I’m not
For a moment, she stared at me with a completely unreadable expression. Then, unexpectedly, a sad smile crossed her lips.
“That’s it, then,” she murmured, more to herself than me. “For us, anyway.” I blinked, and she glanced up at me, her starry eyes clear. “I didn’t want you to have any doubts, in the end.”
“Is that what you wanted?” I stared at her, aghast. “Were you just forcing me into a decision?”
“No, Ash. No.” Ariella put a hand on my arm. “I meant what I said. I’ve always loved you, and I wanted you to know before …” She shivered, hugging herself as she stepped back. “I’m happy for you,” she whispered, though her eyes were glassy once more. “You know what you want, and that’s good. It will make it easier….”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oy, ice-boy!” Puck’s voice came, rough with disapproval, from farther up the stairs. “I think you’d better get up here now!”
I scowled at Puck, cursing his timing, and glanced at Ariella. She gazed up the steps, her cheeks dry, her
