Fifty Grand

a movie.’ Clever, right? Did you ever see that one? We’ll Always Have Parricide? It was a black comedy, you know? Bandwagon stuff, Luke Wilson vehicle, I was third banana.”

“I didn’t see it.”

“Well, you didn’t miss much. I’ve got the DVD at home if you want to take a look.”

“Sure.”

We accelerated out of the driveway and the gates opened for us as if by magic. Jack paused to see if there was anything happening at the Cruise estate but the lights were off and the Cruises abed.

“Can I give you a ride to Wetback-to the, uhm, I mean, the motel?”

“Don’t worry, I know what everybody calls it.”

“It’s just a joke. It’s not mean.”

“I’m not offended.”

A look of obvious conspiracy flashed in his eyes followed by that boyish salesman smile. “Or, or, would you, uh, like to come back to my place for coffee?”

“Your place. Coffee,” I said quickly.

The ride to Jack’s took fifteen minutes. It was a five-minute drive but Jack had had that bottle.

The irony did not impress me at the time because I was tipsy too, but I saw it eventually.

This car. This road. An intoxicated driver. Me. Dad. Enabler. Avenger.

We arrived at the house. I stumbled as I got out. Jack caught me before I fell.

I had never had such heady stuff in my life.

Tipsy, but not drunk.

I knew what I was doing. I knew what was going to happen. There were a million opportunities to back out. No one put a gun to my head.

A gun to my head. Yeah, that’s right, more irony.

“Shall we go inside?”

“Please.”

“Let me get your bag.”

“Leave it.”

“Christ, that’s heavy, whatcha got in there?”

A telephone call to the motel would have put a stop to it. Paco, come. But I made no calls. Didn’t want to. Jack was the antithesis of all those cadaver boys in Havana.

Jack was alive, funny, insecure, overconfident.

Jack was all those Yuma movies and TV shows.

Jack was America.

We went in and he took off his jacket and surreptitiously wrote something on a pad next to the phone table.

“Martini?” he asked. “Even when I’m sort of on the wagon I allow myself one at the end of the day.”

“Yes,” I said.

“Tip from Paul. A stiff drink and one-but only one-Ambien and all the cares of the world disappear… How do you like yours? Your martini?”

“Whatever way you’re having it.”

When he went into the kitchen I looked at the note he’d made on the scribble pad. It said: “1) Chk Richard Serra MOMA/Met? 2) New Yorker-tell Paul subscribe.”

Very sinister.

“You want me to find that Luke Wilson DVD?” Jack shouted.

“If you want to.”

Jack came back with the martinis and began showing me the various objets d’art and interesting pieces of furniture he had in his living room. He had somehow forgotten that I had been in this house twice already and dusted all this shit.

I listened. He told jokes. I laughed.

Upstairs he showed me his awards, his film books, his signed scripts, and that hideous framed poster of the twins in spaceship uniforms.

“What do you think?” he said, pointing at the poster.

“Who are they?”

Jack’s jaw dropped and hung there.

“It’s Kirk! From Star Trek. The two captains. Look, down there, signed by Shatner himself.”

I had heard of Star Trek but that particular Yuma series had never made it to Cuba.

“I thought the captain was bald,” I said.

“Jesus Christ, that’s Picard! Forget him, this is the main dude. Bill’s the man. Did you ever see Fight Club? Remember what Pitt said when they asked him who he’d want to fight in the whole world?”

“I did not see Fight Club.”

“Shit, man. No Star Trek, no Fight Club… I mean, you had electricity, right, where you’re from, right?”

“Electricity? No, we only just got fire a few years ago, but that was useful because it helped scare away all the dinosaurs that kept marauding the village.”

Jack laughed and kissed me on the cheek. “Oh, Maria, you crack me up. You’re funny. No, no, let me tell you, I’m proud of this. It’s from ‘The Enemy Within,’ episode five, you know, the two Kirks? I wanted ‘Mirror Mirror,’ but then I figured that if I ever got an opportunity to meet Nimoy, I’d get him to sign a ‘Mirror Mirror’ poster, the two Spocks. Good idea, huh?”

“Very.”

“I’d thought about getting a goatee myself like the evil Spock for Gunmetal, but everybody’s nixed it. The Brits back then wore mustaches, not goatees. Besides, after all the ‘Mirror Mirror’ parodies you’d feel like an idiot.”

“Yes.”

“Probably should move the poster to my place in L.A. More traffic through there, tell the story, impress them with my Trek lore. Youkilis says I should move full-time to L.A., but I’m a Colorado boy and Fairview is white hot for celebs right now and it’s still got that small-town feel.”

“It does.”

“Yeah, you really get to know people and the big rooster himself is up the hill. Shit, if we could get Spielberg to move out here we’d really have something…”

I stopped listening after a while. I liked Jack better when he wasn’t saying anything. He was several years older than me but he seemed younger, younger than Paco, even. I finished my drink.

“Get you a refill?” he asked.

The martini. Words. Another martini. More words.

“I’ll have to introduce you to my friends and I’ll have to meet yours… You should see my place in L.A. Seriously, why not?”

Jack’s shirt. His breath on my neck. A joke. A question.

Yes, Jack, I do. I want to feel your body on top of me, I want you to give yourself to me utterly, completely, all of you, Jack, even if only for a night.

Another refill and I caught him looking at his own reflection in the window. He grinned sheepishly. It’s ok, Jack, this is you at your peak, lead rolls in the pictures, money, women, fame. This is you on top, before the injections and the rejections. You shouldn’t be ashamed to look. You’re fabulous.

“New haircut, not sure I like it,” he said and pulled a strand or two.

Oh, don’t speak, Jack, just come over.

Why is it always the woman who has to show the man? I thought, drained the third martini and got up from the couch. I stepped out of my skirt and panties, I let the blouse fall to the floor, I unhooked my hair.

“Two hundred dollars in a new place on Pearl and they didn’t even trim my sideburns,” he said, still looking at