He’d love that.”
That’s a good idea. I never want to bother Luke at work, because he’s so busy. But if Venetia can do it, then why can’t I?
“OK, I’ll try it,” I say, cheering up. “And I’ll let you know how it goes. Thanks, Suze.” I drain my smoothie and put my glass down with a flourish. “So.”
“So.” Suze meets my eyes. “Are you ready?”
“I think so.” I feel a squirm of nerves. “Let’s go!”
I pull the gender predictor box toward me along the counter and tug at the plastic wrapping, my hands trembling a little. In a matter of minutes I’ll know. This is almost as exciting as the birth itself!
I secretly think it’s a boy. Or maybe a girl.
“Hey, Bex, wait,” says Suze suddenly. “How will you fool Luke?”
“What do you mean?”
“When they deliver the baby! How will you convince him you didn’t know the sex beforehand?”
I stop ripping at the plastic. That’s a good point.
“I’ll just act surprised,” I say at last. “I’m really good at acting — look.” I put on my most astonished expression. “It’s a…boy!”
Suze pulls a face. “Bex, that was terrible!”
“I wasn’t ready,” I say hastily. “Let’s try again.” I concentrate for a moment, then gasp. “It’s a girl!”
Suze is shaking her head and wincing. “Totally fake! Bex, you need to get into your character. You need to use some Method.”
Oh no. Here we go. Suze went to drama school for a term before university, so she thinks she’s practically Judi Dench. (It wasn’t a real drama school, like RADA. It was a private one where your father pays and you do cooking in the afternoon. But we don’t mention that.)
“Stand up,” she instructs me. “Do some loosening-up exercises….” She rolls her head around and shakes out her arms. Reluctantly, I copy her. “Now, what’s your motivation?”
“Fooling Luke,” I remind her.
“No! Your interior motivation. Your character.” Suze closes her eyes for a moment, as if communing with the spirits. “You’re a new mother. You’re seeing your baby for the first time. You’re delighted…yet surprised…. The sex is not what you expected…. You’ve never been so amazed in your life…. Really feel it….”
“It’s…a boy!” I clutch at my chest. Suze is whirling her arms at me.
“More, Bex! Again, with passion!”
“It’s a boy! My God, it’s a BOY!!!” My voice resounds around the kitchen, and a spoon falls off the counter onto the floor.
“Hey, that was pretty good!” Suze looks impressed.
“Really?” I’m panting.
“Yes! You’ll definitely fool him. Let’s do the test.”
As I head to the sink for some water, Suze rips the box open and pulls out a syringe.
“Ooh, look,” she says cheerfully. “You have to have an injection.”
“An injection?” I look round in dismay.
“‘The blood test is quick and easy to perform,’” she reads aloud from the leaflet. “‘Simply ask a doctor, nurse, or other qualified person to take a vial of blood from a vein.’ Here’s the needle,” she adds, taking out a plastic box. “I’ll be the doctor.”
“Right.” I nod, trying to hide my qualms. “Er, Suze…have you ever actually done an injection before?”
“Oh, yes.” She nods confidently. “I’ve injected a sheep. Come on!” She’s fitting the needle to the syringe. “Roll up your sleeve!”
A sheep?
“So, what do we do with the vial of blood?” I ask, playing for time.
“We send it away to the lab,” says Suze, reaching for the leaflet. “‘Your results will be posted to you in anonymous, discreet packaging. Please expect them within’”—she turns the page—“‘approximately ten to twelve weeks.’”
What?
“Ten to twelve weeks?” I grab the leaflet from her. “What good is that? I’ll have had it by then.” I turn the pages over, trying to find some express delivery option, but there isn’t one. At last I give up and subside onto a bar stool in disappointment. “Twelve weeks. There’s no point even doing it!”
Suze sighs and sits down beside me. “Bex, didn’t you read any of the instructions before you bought this test? Didn’t you find out how it worked?”
“Well…no,” I admit. “I thought it would be like a pregnancy stick test. With a blue line and a pink line.”
Stupid rubbishy test. It cost me forty quid too. What a total rip-off. I mean, do they think pregnant women are that desperate to know what sex their baby is? It’s only a few months to wait, for goodness’ sake. And it’s not like it matters. As long as it’s a healthy baby, then really, what is the—
Suze breaks into my thoughts. “Shall we do the ring test again? See what it says?”
“Ooh!” I look up, brightening. “Yes, let’s.”
We do the ring test five times, and decide the odds are 3–2 on it being a boy. So we make a great big list of boys’ names and Suze tries to persuade me to call it Tarquin Wilfrid Susan. Yup. I don’t think so.
By the time she’s bundled up all the children, fed them lots of fish oil capsules (to counteract the dumbing- down effect of TV), and left, I feel a lot better. She’s right — Luke and I just need to spend a bit more time together. And I’ve thought of a much better plan than taking him out to lunch. I mean, he goes to boring old business lunches all the time. I want to do something different. Something romantic.
So the next day at work, I phone down to the Food Hall and order a picnic basket of all Luke’s favorite food. I’ve already checked with Mel, his assistant, and he hasn’t got any appointments booked for lunchtime. (I didn’t tell her why I was asking, because there’s no way she’d keep it secret.) My plan is to surprise him and have a picnic lunch in his office and it’ll be all intimate and lovely! I’ve even got them to put in a bottle of champagne, a checked cloth, and a plastic “picnic” candelabra from Homewares, just to set the scene.
As I set off for Luke’s office at lunchtime I’m feeling quite excited. It’s been ages since we did something spontaneous like this! Plus I haven’t been to Brandon Communications for weeks, and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone. There’s been the most amazing buzz at the company, ever since they won the Arcodas pitch. The Arcodas Group is so huge, and so different from all the financial clients they normally deal with, it’s been the biggest challenge they’ve ever faced. (I know this from helping Luke write his motivational speeches.)
But then, what is life without new adventures and new dreams? Brandon Communications is the best in the business, stronger and more dynamic every year, thriving on new enterprises. Together they can take on any challenge, meet it, and conquer it. As a team. As a family. (I wrote that bit.)
I arrive at the offices just before one, and sidle across the marble foyer to Karen, the receptionist. She’s talking to her colleague Dawn in a low voice, and she looks all pink and upset. I hope nothing’s wrong.
“It’s not right,” I can hear her saying in a guarded voice as I approach the desk. “It’s just not right. No one should behave like that, boss or no boss. I know I’m old-fashioned—”
“It’s not,” Dawn interrupts her. “It’s having respect for your fellow human beings.”
“Respect.” Karen nods vigorously. “How she’s feeling, poor thing…”
“Have you seen her? Since…” Dawn trails off meaningfully.
Karen shakes her head. “No one has.”
I’m following their conversation with slight unease. What are they talking about? Who’s “she”?
“Hi!” I say, and they both jump.
“Becky! Goodness!” Karen looks quite flustered at the sight of me. “What are you…Did we know you were coming today?” She starts leafing through the papers on her desk. “Dawn, is it in the appointment book?”
In the appointment book? Since when do I have to make an appointment to see my own husband?
“I just thought I’d surprise Luke. He’s free at lunchtime; I’ve already checked. So I thought we could have a nice picnic in his office!” I nod at the basket hanging on my arm.
I’m expecting them to say, “What a lovely idea!” But instead, Karen and Dawn both look kind of nervous.
“Right!” says Karen at last. “Well. Let’s just…see if…” She presses a couple of buttons on her switchboard.
