2 October 2000
Dear Becky:
First of all, bad luck on your recent unfortunate bout of publicity! I really felt for you, and I know I also speak for Rory, Emma, and all the rest of the team.
As you know, the Morning Coffee family is a fiercely loyal and supportive one, and it is our policy never to allow adverse publicity to stand in the way of talent. However, completely coincidentally, we have recently been reviewing all our regular contributors. Following some discussion, we have decided to rest you from your slot for a while.
I must emphasize that this is just a temporary measure. However, we would appreciate it if you would return your East-West TV pass in the envelope provided and also sign the enclosed release document.
The work you’ve done for us has been fabulous (obviously!). We just know that your talents will flourish elsewhere and that this will not prove a setback to someone as dynamic as yourself!
With very best wishes,
Zelda Washington
Assistant Producer
PARADIGM BOOKS LTD
695 SOHO SQUARE
LONDON W1 5AS
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Flat 2
4 Burney Rd.
London SW6 8FD
4 October 2000
Dear Becky:
Thank you very much for your first draft of Manage Money the Bloomwood Way. We appreciated the care that had gone into your work. Your writing is well paced and fluent, and you certainly made some interesting points.
Unfortunately, 500 words — however excellent they are — is not quite enough for a self-help book. Your suggestion that we could “pad out the rest with photographs” is unfortunately not really workable.
Sadly, we have therefore decided that this is not a viable project and, as a result, would request that you return our advance forthwith.
With all best wishes,
Pippa Brady
Editor
Helping you to help yourself
OUT NOW! Jungle Survival by Brig. Roger Flintwood (deceased)
Fourteen
FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS, I don’t leave the house. I don’t answer the phone and I don’t talk to anyone. I feel physically raw, as though people’s gazes, or their questions, or even the sunlight, might hurt me. I need to be in a dark place, on my own. Suze has gone to Milton Keynes for a big sales and marketing conference with Hadleys, so I’m all alone in the flat. I order takeout, drink two bottles of white wine, and don’t once get out of my pajamas.
When Suze returns, I’m sitting on the floor in the sitting room where she left me, staring blankly at the television, stuffing KitKats into my mouth.
“Oh God,” she says, dropping her bag on the floor. “Bex, are you OK? I shouldn’t have left you on your own.”
“I’m fine!” I say, looking up and forcing my stiff face to twist into a smile. “How was the sales conference?”
“Well… it was really good, actually,” says Suze, looking abashed. “People kept congratulating me on the way my frames have been selling. They’d all heard of me! And they did a presentation of my new designs, and everybody loved them…”
“That’s really great, Suze,” I say, and reach up to squeeze her hand. “You deserve it.”
“Well. You know.” She bites her lip — then picks up an empty wine bottle from the floor and puts it on the table.
“So, did… Luke call?” she says hesitantly.
“No,” I say, after a long silence. “No, he didn’t.” I look at Suze, then look away again.
“What are you watching?” she says, as an ad for Diet Coke comes on.
“I’m watching Morning Coffee,” I say. “It’s the financial advice slot coming up next.”
“What?” Suze’s face creases in dismay. “Bex, let’s switch channels.” She reaches for the remote control, but I grab it.
“No!” I say, staring rigidly at the screen. “I want to see it.”
The familiar Morning Coffee music blasts out of the screen as the signature graphic of a cup of coffee appears and then melts away to a studio shot.
“Hello!” says Emma cheerily to camera. “Welcome back. And it’s time for us to introduce our new money expert, Clare Edwards!”
I stare at Clare’s familiar face, feeling a fresh humiliation seep over me. When they promoted her appearance earlier on I was so shocked I spilled my coffee on my hand. It still hurts.
“Who’s Clare Edwards?” says Suze, staring at the screen in distaste.
“I used to work with her on Successful Saving,” I say without moving my head. “She used to sit next to me.”
The camera pans away to show Clare sitting on the sofa opposite Emma, staring grimly back.
“She doesn’t look like much fun,” says Suze.
“She isn’t.”
“So, Clare,” says Emma brightly. “What’s your basic philosophy of money?”
“Do you have a catchphrase?” interjects Rory cheerfully.
“I don’t believe in catchphrases,” says Clare, giving Rory a disapproving look. “Personal finance isn’t a trivial matter.”
“Right!” says Rory. “Of course not. Erm… so — do you have any top tips for savers, Clare?”
“I don’t believe in futile and misleading generalizations,” says Clare. “All savers should choose a spread of investments suitable to their individual requirements and tax status.”
“Absolutely!” says Emma after a pause. “Right. Well — let’s go to the phones, shall we? And it’s Mandy from Norwich.”
As the first caller is put through, the phone in our sitting room rings.
“Hello?” says Suze, picking it up and zapping the sound on the television, “Ooh, hello, Mrs. Bloomwood. Do
