She and Aneko returned to the common room. Magnes and Ashinji had seated themselves at the table and were deep in conversation. Jelena went over to join them, slipping in alongside Magnes on the bench opposite Ashinji. Aneko bowed to Ashinji and discreetly exited the room
“ If war comes, I’ll be in a very difficult position if I stay here,” Magnes was saying. Both he and Ashinji looked glum.
“ What are you talking about?” Jelena asked. She felt a twinge of alarm as she looked at the two young men, their faces as serious as if they had just heard some particularly bad news.
“ The painful truth,” Ashinji answered. “Magnes is the son and Heir of a very important human lord. To stay here in Kerala, in the service of an elven lord, would be seen as treason, I think. And there is the other side of the issue. The son of a powerful human lord is a very valuable hostage. Despite my father’s best intentions, he may have no choice in the end. He will have to confine your cousin to Kerala Castle; at worst, he might be compelled to send Magnes to Sendai as a prisoner.”
“ Jelena, I might need to leave Kerala and go back home,” Magnes said quietly.
Jelena leaned her head against Magnes’s shoulder. “I don’t want you to go. I want us to be together like we always have been, but I realize I must put aside my selfishness if staying here will endanger your life. I love you, Magnes, but I still feel a little guilty that you had to give up everything in order to help me escape.”
“ Jelena, I’ve told you that that doesn’t matter.”
Jelena shook her head. “But, don’t you see, Magnes? It does matter, very much. This is your life we’re talking about, for the gods’ sake!” She looked at Ashinji, who was pulling at the gold rings set in his earlobe. “Ashinji, how certain are the elves that the Empire is planning on going to war with Alasiri?”
“ Our intelligence says that it is all but certain, and planned for next summer, just after the worst of the rainy season.”
“ Yes, that’s what I know as well. A little over a year, then.” Magnes drummed his fingers restlessly against the scarred wood of the table.
Jelena laid her hand over his, stilling the nervous motion. “Go home, Cousin. Mend things with your father. Tell him about Livie. If he sees how much you love her, perhaps he’ll give in and allow the two of you to marry. I’ll miss you terribly, but I’ll be all right. If I can’t find my father, or if…well, at least I have a place here. I can make a good life for myself, I think.”
Magnes gathered her up in his arms. “I don’t want to abandon you, Jelena,” he said, voice hoarse with emotion. “I’ve always taken care of you. Who’s going to protect you if I leave?” Jelena could see that Ashinji had gone very still. His expression was unreadable, but he seemed to be trying very hard to hold back from something, as if there were words within him that he wanted very much to say, but could not.
“ I can take care of myself, Cousin. You’ve helped me get this far; now I can manage on my own.”
“ I can’t deny the logic of your arguments,” Magnes sighed. He looked at Ashinji. “I’ll need some provisions and a horse, if your father can spare one. I have nothing with which to repay him, as you know, but if there ever is a way, I’ll find it.”
“ Of course, Magnes. There is no need to speak of repayment. My father is a generous man, and there is no hardship in helping you. We will provide you with all that you need, including an escort to the border.”
“ It’s settled, then,” Jelena said.
Two days later, Jelena stood at the main gate of Kerala Castle and watched Magnes ride away. The words he had spoken to her the night before kept repeating themselves over and over in her head.
“ Jelena, I’ve seen how Ashinji looks at you. He’s drawn to you, and it only seems like it’s getting stronger. I know you don’t believe any man could love you because of what you are, but that’s simply not true. I think Ashinji might. Don’t let your fears and doubts prevent you from finding happiness.”
Happiness and the kind of love shared between a man and woman were two things that Jelena had given up on a long time ago. She would count herself lucky if she could somehow manage to find a bit of contentment.
Magnes turned back in the saddle and waved. Jelena raised her hand in response and gave free rein to her tears. From behind, she sensed the presence of another. She turned to see Ashinji standing close by her left shoulder, watching the mounted figures of Magnes and his escort dwindling into the distance. She could feel the heat of his body pushing against her, and the desperate longing to touch him became almost too much to bear.
“ I know you are sad, Jelena. Perhaps, one day, if the One permits it, you will see your cousin again.” Ashinji rested his hand lightly on Jelena’s shoulder, and suddenly, she could take no more.
She sobbed aloud and fled.
Chapter 17
During the week that followed Magnes’s departure, Ashinji tried to ease Jelena’s sorrow and loneliness by spending as much time with her as his other duties allowed.
Jelena’s company posed no hardship. In truth, he found himself drawn to her more strongly with each passing day. His first thoughts when he awoke in the morning were of her, as were his last thoughts before he drifted off to sleep at night. She haunted his dreams and preoccupied his waking mind. He found it both exciting and troubling. Ashinji was no callow youth; he’d had his share of affairs, but never before had a woman stirred his soul like Jelena. He felt off balance, like his world had just been upended and shaken out like an old sack.
Early evenings, during the quiet time between the end of the workday and the evening meal, Ashinji liked to ramble about the castle grounds. He invariably ended up on the battlements, where he could soak up the peace of the bucolic landscape in blessed solitude. This particular evening was no different. Slowly, he mounted the stairs toward the top of the wall, his mind already deep in thought.
Ashinji had never given much thought to the idea of romantic love. As the son of a noble house, his duty was to obey his parents, and when the time came for him to marry, he would go before the priests with a bride of his parents’ choosing. Love never really entered the picture, at least during the selection process. With luck, the girl would be pretty and of an agreeable nature. With still more luck, they would find that they were compatible, and friendship, then love, would grow between them. Ashinji had known for some time that his parents had been making discreet inquiries amongst several noble families. He had no thought or desire to complain.
Everything had changed the moment he had first seen Jelena’s face and had recognized her as the girl from his dream visions. He had known then, with absolute certainty, that they were meant to be together. He must make his feelings known to her, and soon.
His parents did need consideration, though. Lord and Lady Sakehera were far more liberal than most people on the subject of human-elf intermingling, but he wondered if their tolerance would extend to marriage with a hikui. Ashinji loved and respected his parents with all his heart and held his duty to them as one of the central aspects of his life. But in this one thing, he knew he could not obey. If he could not make Jelena his wife, then he would have no wife at all. He must somehow make his parents understand.
The sun had started its slow slide below the horizon. The evening breeze picked up a few stray locks of Ashinji’s hair and whipped them across his face, tickling his nose and mouth. He turned his head slightly and spotted movement out of the corner of his eye.
His heart sank.
