Honoria sat opposite Magnes and folded her graceful, long-fingered hands on the table in front of her. She fixed Magnes with a sad, knowing look that immediately filled him with foreboding. “There’s no easy way of saying this, milord, so I’m just going to say it. Livie’s gone. She’s in Greenwood now, where her sister and her family live. She’s got her own shop there, started up just about one month ago. I’ve heard tell that folk are already placing so many orders, she’ll need an assistant before too long.”
“ Then I’ll ride to Greenwood tomorrow to see her. She has to know why I left so suddenly without telling her. She must think I abandoned her, but that’s not true! I would never do that, Mistress. I know you know how I feel about Livie. I never tried to hide it from you. I love her, and she loves me. The only thing I’ve ever wanted is for us to be together.”
Honoria shook her head sadly. For a moment, she seemed too overcome to speak.
Magnes rose from his chair in alarm. “What is it? Please tell me what’s wrong!” he cried.
“ Oh, Lord Magnes! You can’t go to Greenwood to see Livie now.”
“ Why not?”
“ Because she’s a married woman!”
Magnes sat down, hard, like a puppet whose strings have just been cut. He stared straight ahead, unblinking, his jaw working as if words were trying to push their way out of his mouth but were unable to breach the barrier of his teeth.
Finally, he managed to speak. “Tell me everything,” he whispered.
“ She met him when she was visiting her sister, around the time you disappeared. His name is Jonus, and he owns his own land…a fine, large parcel. He’s a good, kind man, and he loves her. Oh, Lord Magnes! What was she to do? She had no hope with you, none at all, and we all know that’s the truth. You are the future duke! Your father would never consent to a marriage between my daughter and his Heir. When she found out that you’d gone off without a word to her, she cried for days. Her father and I were frantic. We feared she’d kill herself!”
“ I couldn’t get word to her. There was no time,” Magnes murmured.
“ Then, one day, Jonus showed up at our door, asking to speak to us about a proposal. He’d come all the way from Greenwood to make his case for our Livie. Well, we told him honestly that we didn’t think she was ready to marry, but Livie came out, dry-eyed and steady, and listened while he told her all of the reasons why he would make her a good husband.”
Magnes could not bear to look into Honoria’s eyes. “And she said yes.”
“ Lord Magnes, Livie is eighteen years old. She needs to get started on a family of her own. She had a good man willing to make her an offer, a man who was right there and able to marry her. What could you have offered my daughter? Certainly not marriage!”
Magnes laid his head down on his hands. Mistress Honoria’s words felt like knives cutting into his flesh, but what made the pain so much worse was the truth of those words. He could see now, with such brutal clarity, the selfishness of his assumption that Livie would always remain willing to accept whatever crumbs of his life he could throw her, never demanding any more of him. How could he have been so cruel, so uncaring, so completely oblivious to the realities of what she needed?
Livie deserved a man who could love her and be a husband to her, a man who could give her legitimate children and help her build a secure life for their family.
The time had come to let Livie go.
He sat up and wiped his streaming eyes.
“ The truth is often something that we don’t want to hear, yet we need to hear it, nonetheless,” he said.
Honoria nodded and patted his hand. “Jonus is a good man. He’ll cherish our Livie, I promise you.”
“ I know he will because you have said it, Mistress Honoria.”
Magnes tossed off the tankard in one gulp and rose to leave. Honoria saw him out to the gate and waited while he mounted up. The two hounds sat quietly at her feet, watching mournfully, as if they could sense the great sadness that hung in the air.
“ Farewell, Mistress. Give my regards to the warden,” Magnes said.
“ Gods bless you, milord,” Honoria replied.
Magnes turned the mare’s head and urged her into a trot towards the road.
He did not look back.
Chapter 22
When Magnes returned to Amsara late that afternoon, he headed straight up to his rooms and locked himself in. The servant Conrad knocked shortly after nightfall. When Magnes opened the door, he gasped in dismay and said, “Young Master, what’re ye doin’ standin’ here in the dark for?”
Magnes shrugged listlessly in response.
“ Well, can I at least come in an’ light a lamp or two?”
Magnes shook his head. “Just bring me a couple of flagons of wine…The Rhandon should do. It’s good and strong.”
Conrad’s eyes flashed with worry. “Yes, sir. Straightaway,” he said and left to do as he was bid. Magnes waited in the dark, slumped in a chair, eyes tightly shut.
The servant returned quickly with the wine, a tankard, and a small tray of cold meat and bread. Magnes took the wine and told the man to return the food to the kitchen. He closed the door in the bewildered Conrad’s face and returned to his chair by the open window.
The moon hung low in the sky, a tiny sliver of silver, barely visible above the castle roofs. Magnes didn’t bother to fill the tankard and drank directly from the flagon instead. The wine, dark and strong, soon took hold, and the unbearable pain that gnawed at his insides quieted down to a dull ache. He drank up the first flagon quickly and then started on the second, sipping until he felt completely numb. After a time, he slept.
The discomfort of a full bladder woke him several hours later. Staggering to the bedchamber, he groped beneath the bed until his fingers snagged the chamberpot. With a sigh, he relieved himself, then wobbled back into the outer chamber to retrieve the wine flagon. With almost no light to see by, virtually blind and still drunk, he blundered into the heavy armchair and crashed to the floor.
Cursing softly, he hoisted himself back up into the chair and sat quietly for a moment until the pain of his cracked shin subsided. When he could breathe again, he groped for the unfinished flagon on the table to his right and managed to grasp it without knocking it over. He shook it gently, and the sloshing sound told him he had enough wine left to sustain his drunken state for the rest of the night. He raised the flagon to his lips and swallowed deeply, then passed out.
He awoke the next morning with a vicious headache and no memory of having fallen asleep again. The empty wine flagon lay on the floor at his feet, a small red blotch staining the carpet beneath its lip.
A soft knock at the door brought Magnes unsteadily to his feet. He swayed a little and sat back down as his stomach threatened to rebel. He breathed deeply for several heartbeats until the wave of nausea passed, then once again tried to stand. This time, he met with success and made it to the door without falling.
“ You look like hell!” Thessalina exclaimed. Magnes waved her in and closed the door. “Conrad was worried about you. He asked me to look in on you this morning, and I can see that he was right to worry.” She sat down in the window seat with her back to the morning sun. “Magnes, talk to me. All I know is what Father has told me, but I want to hear it from you. Is it true that you took Jelena to the Western Lands so that she could get away from Duke Sebastianus?”
“ It’s true,” Magnes answered. His tongue had grown fur overnight and seemed to be twice as thick as it ought.
Thessalina shook her head incredulously. “But why would you risk so much for her? She was getting a very good deal. She wasn’t worth shaming Father and running out on your own obligations, Brother.”
“ Please, Thess. I…I’m just not up to this conversation right now. Leave me be.” He pressed the palm of his hand to his forehead and closed his eyes.
