slipped away.
I lifted the tall narrow goblet. “To you and a beautiful afternoon.”
She blushed, ever so slightly, as she lifted her own goblet. “To you.”
I hadn’t realized how dry my throat was until the Sanietra cooled and moistened it. “Very good . . . and timely. You and your mother do have a sense that way.” As well as in other ways.
“I’m still learning.”
“Your mother was offering a reminder.”
“Mother can be very direct.”
“And you’d prefer to be a little less so.”
Seliora nodded. “But there’s no help for it. It’s as much about the family as about you. Grandmama feels everyone should either contribute to the family-or strike out on their own.”
“She doesn’t like the idea of the family supporting those who don’t contribute at least their share.”
“Or as much as they can, once they’re grown.” I had no idea where her words were leading.
“Contribution isn’t just how one can add to the golds. We’re not badly off that way.”
I gestured to the building that surrounded us. “I can see. But you don’t want men to know that. Wasn’t that why you met me at the hall . . . and why Odelia does as well?”
She nodded. “Also, flaunting wealth is a form of Naming.”
I could definitely see that.
“You must have guessed that Grandmama came out of the taudis. She’s always said that she’s done what she had to, but that she didn’t have to like it . . . only do it well. To this day, she won’t let anyone else talk to her oldest . . . acquaintances.”
“That’s all you have to say, I think.”
Seliora raised her eyebrows. “I can finish it, but I’d be interested in how close you are.”
“I’ll try to put it in . . . general terms.” I took another swallow of Sanietra. “Your grandmother wants the best for her family, and, frankly, I think you’re her favorite. She also knows that it’s very difficult to retain golds without various forms of power. One form is being able to provide a good or a service that is highly valued, and that is something that she and your mother and father have established with NordEste Design. I’d wager that your father is the best furniture crafter in L’Excelsis, and possibly was the very best without a guild patron or master. By emphasizing furniture with specialized textile upholstery, and with her taudis contacts, they created something unique.”
Seliora nodded again. “Is that all?”
“Do you want me to go on?”
“No, but it’s necessary. Just remember what I said to you last night . . . and that I asked you to dance before you became an imager.”
Last night? I almost nodded somberly as I recalled her words.
“In a very general sense, power can come from two sources. One is the ability to apply force without using the established resources of a society. The other is the ability to use force sanctioned by society. Your grandmother retains the first ability. She’s kept her children from that source, at least partly. But she’s no longer young.” I looked to Seliora, wondering if I’d said enough or too much.
Her face was a pleasant mask.
“Grandmama has been concerned for some time what will happen to the family, and her hope is that you- and whoever you choose-will save it.” I laughed, ruefully. “That’s quite a burden to put on you . . . or Odelia.”
“You didn’t mention Shomyr.”
“He’s too kind, I would judge, and Mehtyr’s too young, and L’Excelsis still respects men in power, at least in officially sanctioned positions. There’s only one high woman maitre in the Collegium, and look at the attacks Madame D’Shendael has undergone.”
“You
“Not until you said what you did about your grandmama. Then, all the pieces fit. I think I was feeling some of it, but I hadn’t thought about it in that way before. I was just interested in you, even from that night last Fevier when you asked me to dance . . .”
I looked to Seliora, seeing the brightness of unshed tears. “To fall in love, and then to find that everyone looks to you . . . you’re braver than I might be.” I stood and eased around the table, drawing her to her feet and putting my arms around her.
For a long moment, she was as stiff as if she had been carved from ancient oak.
Then she clung to me, shuddering silently. Finally, she lifted her head and murmured softly, “I didn’t want that. I wanted you. I want you.”
“You and your grandmama are alike in one way,” I said quietly, still holding her.
She looked up at me, questioningly, still, holding me.
“You’re both honest. She could have said nothing, just encouraged you, made things easy. You could have said nothing. Neither of you did. For that, I respect you both.” I kissed Seliora gently.
What I didn’t say was that her grandmama knew how to use honesty to the greatest effect . . . or that I might need Seliora and her family every bit as much as they needed me. But then, I doubted that I needed to say it. Seliora already understood that, whether she consciously knew it or not.
“You don’t mind?”
“No. Not in the slightest.” Perhaps strangely, I didn’t. I’d already learned that having needs didn’t make a person less-or more.
The kiss and embrace that followed my words made any words superfluous.
We had barely reseated ourselves and gained a measure of composure when I heard footsteps on the wooden floor of the short hallway from the main upper hall.
Seliora gave me a wry smile as she blotted her eyes. I only had to swallow several times.
Grandmama Diestra stepped out onto the porch, favoring one leg. She looked at Seliora, then at me. “I see you told him, girl.”
“No, Grandmama. I offered him a few words, and he told me.”
She looked at me. “Is that right?”
“Yes, madame.”
She nodded. “You two are right for each other. That doesn’t mean it will work out. Working it out means working it out. You’re right for this family, Rhennthyl, and this family is right for you. Will that work out? I don’t know. What I do know is that inside a family, or between a husband and a wife, secrets destroy trust. So does a failure to talk honestly and directly, but not hurtfully. Marriages and families are built on trust.”
What could I say to that?
“What do you have to say about that, Rhennthyl?”
“Seeing what you want to see is another form of dishonesty. Are you seeing what you want or what really is?”
Diestra laughed. “That’s a good question. Self-deception would destroy everything I’ve built, and I’m too old to bother with it. You’ve seen the dangers of self-deception in others. What about in yourself?”
“I’m too young to be expert in it, but it would be easy enough to fall into that habit.”
“Fairly put.” She nodded. “Whatever you two decide, decide it honestly.” With that, she turned and left.
For a moment, Seliora and I just looked at each other.
“Is she always that direct?”
“When no one but family is present . . . always. With outsiders, sometimes. She was talking to you as family.”
I took a long slow breath. “I’ve been avoiding it, but . . . you need to meet my family. It’s not you; it’s me. Mother has been after me to ‘find the right girl’ for years. But part of me worries that no one will be right so far as she’s concerned because she’s so into form and formality. Since I’m trying to be honest, there are two parts to that. The first part is that I don’t want to face disapproval. The second part is that I don’t want to put you through an examination and silent inquisition.”
Seliora laughed.
“I didn’t think it was funny.”
