Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star

are all doing, right?”

All three of the girls were laughing so hard that they were holding each other up when Alex knocked on their door and asked them to come out. It took them longer than it should have for them to compose themselves, mostly because they would start laughing again whenever anyone made eye contract. Eventually, they regained control and filed out silently.

The others were all there: Alex and Bill Collins on one side and Caroline, Anne, and Slurry on the other side.

Elizabeth quickly realized she would not be able to look at Darcy without laughing, so she carefully looked at anything else.

“Well, ladies,” Caroline said brightly, “I’m pleased to say we have reached an agreement. In two weeks you will be joining Slurry on the Grind tour!”

Jane grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and squeezed it tightly as she said, “Thank you very much! We’re so excited and happy to be joining you.”

Elizabeth didn’t trust herself to speak but nodded in agreement, while Charlotte added, “I’m sure this’ll mean great things for all of us.” This caused Elizabeth to bite her lower lip to keep from giggling.

“Oh,” Jane said excitedly. “Perhaps we could invite you to our house next weekend for dinner. It would give us all a chance to get to know each other before we leave, and you could tell us what to expect.”

Caroline and Charles exchanged looks. “Are you sure?” Caroline asked.

“Definitely. I’m sure our families would like to meet the men we are going to be spending the next eight months traveling with,” Jane assured them with a bright smile.

“That is, if we’re not too dangerous to you,” Elizabeth said softly.

Darcy’s eyes locked on hers, and she was able to meet his gaze with frank inquiry. She realized that despite her laughter, his warning still stung badly.

“I think that is a lovely idea,” Charles said agreeably. “Next Sunday then?”

“That would be great,” Charlotte replied.

“We’ll send you the directions and the time,” Jane glowed.

“I look forward to it.”

“Good night then; it was nice meeting you,” Anne said formally as she began leading the group away. Darcy left with a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, which turned colder as he heard Elizabeth’s laughter at his exit.

*  *  *

“For MTV News, I’m Mark Cole.

“The rock band Slurry has finally announced the warm-up act for the North American leg of their Grind tour, squashing the rumors that had been circulating about the band following the resignation of their last opening act, Dead Man Walking.

“The new group is called Long Borne Suffering. Relatively unknown, the band recently released their debut CD, First Impressions, on De Bourgh’s Rosings Park label.

“That’s all for now. Stay tuned for more MTV News, every ten minutes of the hour.”

Chapter 2

The warmth of spring filled Elizabeth as she sat down at the kitchen table to enjoy the peace of the morning. She cherished this time, before she remembered everything she had to do and the pressure of expectations forced her to move. For now she could just enjoy her coffee and biscotti and not worry about anything yet.

A sudden burst of female laughter broke Elizabeth out of her daze. Lydia called out to her, “Lizzy! Come here! You gotta see this!”

“Do I?” she asked her father as she got up and started moving to the other room. A week of long rehearsals had left her sore and numb. She found her youngest sibling in front of the desktop in the living room. On the screen were three naked women, their faces turned away. “What the heck is this?” Elizabeth blurted to Lydia’s peals of laughter.

“Watch!” Lydia commanded and moved the mouse. As the cursor passed over each body, a name appeared. With a sinking feeling Elizabeth saw the names were “Lizzy,” “Charlotte,” and “Jane.”

“What the hell?” she asked, rubbing her forehead.

“It’s Long Borne Suffering, d’uh!” Lydia replied.

“Where did you find this?” Elizabeth asked.

“Ever since you were on the news, stuff like this has been popping up,” Mary observed from the couch, where she was reading.

Elizabeth read the title of the website: “Long Borne Suffering: NUDE.” She was surprised and a little shocked, but her good humor quickly overcame it. “I had no idea my hips were that small,” she quipped. “And when did I get a racing stripe?”

The girls all laughed together, then Lydia offered to show Lizzy her other finds. The girls sifted through a pile of sites, each more lurid than the last. Elizabeth was especially amused by the web page that proclaimed them “Slurry’s Bitches” in large type. “I can’t believe all these things they’ve written about us. So many wild stories.”

“What about all the stories about him?” said Kitty as she entered the room.

“Who?”

“Fitzwilliam Darcy, of course,” answered Lydia. “I’ve heard he keeps three hot blonde masseuses to travel with him.”

“Well, there’s a lot of tension on the road,” Elizabeth joked to Mary.

“I’ve heard he does a lot of drugs,” Kitty said.

“I think they all do,” Lydia confirmed.

“Did you hear about the lawsuit?” Mary asked.

“No, what?”

“I heard that he is so big,” she lifted her eyebrows to indicate what she meant, “that he put a girl in the hospital and she is suing him, because she can never have babies because of him.”

“Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!” the sisters chorused.

“Could a guy really do that?” Lydia asked.

Elizabeth shrugged. “I guess, but he would have to be the size of a friggin’ oak tree.”

“Girls! Girls!” Their mother’s sharp voice interrupted their discussion. “Look at the time. Our guests will be here in an hour and the house is nowhere near ready!”

Exchanging guilty looks, the women separated to their various tasks. Elizabeth put on her grungy sneakers and went outside to begin mowing.

*  *  *

Darcy pulled his car off the Taconic State Parkway, following the directions from his GPS. His mouth was set in its familiar frown. He couldn’t believe he was going to meet the girls’ families. He was hiring a band, for Christ’s sake, not asking them to the prom. He felt stupid, a feeling he hated.

Caroline had succeeded in getting him to go by reminding him that they had lost three acts already in the last year and that if they wanted to keep this one there would have to be some changes. Always sensible, Caroline pointed out the girls would be much less likely to ditch if Slurry had actually made the effort to meet their parents.

Darcy knew she was right. He was glad he had Caroline around. She seemed to understand people much better than he did, and she could make reasonable suggestions. The last thing Darcy wanted to do was spend a rare Sunday off doing something work related, but he knew that it was for the best.

Charles had been completely delighted with the idea. He’d called Jane Bennet personally to get the details and, according to Caroline, had spent over an hour on the phone. It seemed that Darcy’s advice to his band mates had been ignored. Darcy would be keeping an eye on Bingley today, trying to keep things from getting out of hand,