Little Star

girls.

There had been breakdowns and streaky mascara on that occasion too, and once again Theres had stepped in; bending her head close to the distressed contestant, whispering words that Jerry strained, unsuccessfully, to hear. Theres was given more bits of paper with telephone numbers on them, and made not the slightest attempt to ring them.

But there was more. A month or so later there was the final audition at Oscar’s Theatre, and Jerry had to put up with hours and days of waiting while Theres sang solo or in various groups. Every day he hoped she would be eliminated so that it would all be over, every day she got through. There was sweat and suffering and kids singing in every corner and cameras filming and it was hell on earth.

When Theres had finally been filtered through as one of the twenty lucky contestants who would return for the live shows in the autumn, Jerry felt undiluted relief. Not because she had got through, but because it was finally over. For now. He would worry about the autumn when the time came.

One very hot day in the middle of July, when the heat between the three-storey buildings was enough to make your skin hurt, Jerry finally found out what it was that Theres did.

They had gone into the local shop to choose an ice cream each, when they heard raised voices from the direction of the freezer. Then the owner appeared, marching towards the storeroom and dragging a girl of about thirteen by the arm.

From a few monosyllabic exchanges Jerry realised that the girl had been stealing, and she was now being called to account. The owner was squeezing the girl’s forearm hard with one hand, and she was sobbing, ‘No, look, I’m really sorry, I won’t…’

Like anything unexpected that has some element of violence, it created a kind of physical numbness in the observer, and Jerry stood there with his arms dangling as he watched the owner push open the doors leading to the storeroom and drag the girl along with him.

He thought the owner was basically a nice guy who just wanted to make a point, rather than reporting the incident to the police. A good telling-off, and that would be the end of the matter. That was his interpretation. Theres’ interpretation was different.

When Jerry emerged from his temporary paralysis, he caught sight of Theres. She had gone over to the shelf containing kitchen items, picked up a carving knife and ripped off the packaging. She was now heading for the storeroom with great determination, holding the knife at waist level.

‘Sis? Sis!’

He ran after her and grabbed her by the shoulder. Theres raised the knife and turned to face him. Her eyes were empty, her face a grimacing mask. Instinctively Jerry let go of her shoulder and held up his hands in self- defence. Theres seemed to be on the point of stabbing at him, but stopped. He could hear a low growl coming from her throat.

Incredibly, Jerry had enough presence of mind to see that there was a question in her expression, her posture: Why are you getting in my way? You have one minute to explain.

‘You’re wrong,’ Jerry said. It was the quickest thing he could come up with to give himself a little bit of breathing space. ‘You’re wrong. You’re doing the wrong thing.’

‘Little girl will be dead,’ said Theres. ‘The big person will kill her. Not wrong.’

Jerry made a huge effort to speak in clear sentences that Theres would hopefully be able to grasp as truths. ‘You are wrong. He is not going to kill her. He is not going to harm her. He is going to say…words to her. Some harsh words. Then she will be allowed to leave.’

Theres lowered the knife a fraction. ‘How do you know?’

‘You have to trust me.’ Jerry pointed at the storeroom doors. ‘In a couple of minutes she’ll come out. She won’t be harmed. I promise.’

The knife returned to waist level as Theres stared fixedly at the doors, keeping watch. Jerry looked around the shop. Fortunately there were no other customers, but someone could come in at any moment.

‘Theres? Could you give me the knife?’

Theres shook her head. ‘If the little girl doesn’t come, the big person will be dead.’

Jerry scratched the back of his head hard. His scalp was damp and more sweat was breaking through. He got the dizzying feeling that his and Theres’ day-to-day existence was no more than a matter of tripping along across suspension bridges. There was actually an abyss between them, a chasm so deep that he couldn’t even see the bottom. It had just become visible for a moment.

‘OK,’ said Jerry. ‘But if…when the little girl comes out, will you give me the knife then?’

Theres nodded.

They waited. A minute passed. Two. No other customers came into the shop. Jerry stood next to Theres, staring at the closed double doors. When another minute had passed, an irrational fear began to grow in his breast. That Theres was right. That a murder or rape was being committed right now in the storeroom. He glanced at Theres. Her face was hard, closed. The girl needed to come out now, otherwise something terrible was going to happen.

And then she appeared. The doors opened and the owner saw Jerry, nodded in greeting and gestured at the tear-stained creature meekly trailing behind him.

‘Sometimes you just have to make a stand, don’t you?’

Jerry nodded and took a step to one side so that he was standing at an angle that hid the knife from the owner’s view. The girl headed for the exit, and the owner called after her, ‘You’re welcome to come in again. But no more of that kind of thing.’

The girl shook her bowed head, and Theres followed her. Jerry let her go, because she no longer had the knife in her hand. He glanced sideways and saw that it was lying on top of the ice cream freezer.

The owner was talking about how it was essential to tackle this kind of thing from the start rather than simply letting these kids carry on, because they would end up paying for it later. Jerry nodded and made noises to indicate agreement as he manoeuvred the knife into his hand behind his back. When the owner turned away, he hid it among the packets of crisps. Then he left.

Theres and the girl were sitting side by side on the wall outside the shop. The girl was curled up into a weeping bundle, and the scene looked familiar. This time Jerry was going to find out what it was all about. The girls were sitting with their heads close together, taking no notice of him, so he crept around them until he was standing on the pavement behind the wall.

As he moved into position he could hear Theres’ voice like a rhythmic mumble, rising and falling as if she were singing a lullaby. When he got closer, he could hear what she was saying.

‘You mustn’t be afraid.’

‘No.’

‘You mustn’t get upset.’

‘No.’

‘You are little. They are big. They do bad things. They will be dead. They are angry because they will be dead. You are little. You will not be dead.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You will live forever. You are not in pain. You do not hurt anyone. You have a lovely song inside your head. They have ugly words. You are soft. They are hard. They want your life. Do not give your life to them. Do not give them tears. Do not be afraid.’

Her voice had a hypnotic quality that made Jerry start to sway back and forth where he stood. He too was touched by the message. Do not be afraid, do not be afraid. The fear he had felt in the shop was washed away, like words written on the shore. He had never heard Theres’ voice like this. It was caressing, inviting, healing. It was the voice of a mother comforting her child, it was the voice of a doctor telling the patient that everything will be fine, and it was the voice of the person who takes your hand in the darkness and leads you out.

Despite the fact that the voice wasn’t even speaking directly to Jerry, he swayed along with its rhythm and believed the simple truth it revealed: There was nothing to be afraid of.

As he swayed he lost his balance and moved his foot to straighten up. Theres heard it, and turned around. For a second she gazed into his eyes, looking at him like a stranger. Then her eyes slid away and she stood up. The