The Mammoth Book of International Erotica

the age of thirteen, playing in the bathtub with one of the shower sprayers on the end of a flexible hose, I had first discovered how to do it, I had actually thought I had invented it, and that I was the only one in the entire world who did it. When I learned that it was completely normal, at first I just didn’t believe it, and then I was disappointed. I still liked to pretend I was a young teenager discovering how to do it for the first time. I liked to tease myself, as if I didn’t know exactly how to make myself come.

Sometimes when I needed the extra stimulation, I’d touch myself a little while Brian and I were having sex, but I didn’t like to do that – I was afraid he’d feel that he wasn’t adequate to satisfy me. And somehow that didn’t count – it didn’t have anything to do with the private act I kept for myself.

Now I wanted to show that act to him, but hot as I was, I was still doing nothing. Why couldn’t I take even the first step? What was I afraid of?

The performers in the video were making a lot more progress than I was. I had never seen anything like what was happening on the screen. Both women were naked to the waist. The redhead, her large breasts waving to and fro, knelt in front of the man and took his cock out of his pants. It looked even larger on the television than in the pictures on the box. Incredibly, the redhead put most of it in her mouth. Even more incredibly, rather than gagging and choking, she seemed to be enjoying it.

The blonde was kneeling behind the man and kissing and licking his butt. In case anyone might have missed the point, the camera cut to a close shot of the woman’s tongue moving up and down between his cheeks.

Where do they come up with these ideas? I asked myself. In seven years with Brian, I had never thought of doing something like that – and I had never gotten the idea that he was hoping I would. But maybe he was. Maybe he was secretly longing for me to stick my tongue up his butt. I thought I should be outraged at the very idea, but I wasn’t. In fact, I couldn’t believe how hot I was.

Almost without being aware of it, I reached under my skirt. My panties, soaking wet, had ridden up into my pussy, and they were tickling me. I just need, I told myself, to adjust them.

But as soon as my hand was at my pussy, I realized I was fooling myself. I’m really going to go through with this, I admitted to myself with a sigh. In fact, I was afraid it would all be over too quickly: I was already ready to come. Through my panties, my pussy felt hot and soft and full, like your eyes just before you start to cry. My breasts ached, and with my other hand I began to touch them.

I was so hot that I didn’t know what I wanted. I wanted to close my eyes and I wanted to keep watching the porno tape. I wanted to make myself come as fast as I could, and I wanted to make it last forever. I wanted Brian to come into the room and make love to me, and I wanted him to stand there and watch me as I drove him completely crazy.

Was Brian as hot as I was? How could he just stand there? I wanted to turn and look at him, but I just kept staring at the television, where the man and the blonde were both kneeling in front of the redhead and licking her pussy.

Was Brian looking at the television, or looking at me? The thought that he might be watching the tape instead of me got me angry again. I’ll give him something to watch! I thought.

Careful not to look in Brian’s direction, I stood up and unfastened my skirt. It dropped to the floor, and I sat down again. Imagining Brian’s face as he watched me, I slipped my fingers under the elastic of my panties and onto my pussy. It was all I could do not to come.

In the porno tape, the threesome were busy arranging and rearranging themselves, like skaters going through their required figures. I couldn’t believe all the positions they found. I couldn’t believe that people actually allowed themselves to be filmed doing what they were doing. The screen was filled with mouths and hands and breasts and pussies and cocks and butts.

I couldn’t believe how hot it was making me. I got out of my top and opened my bra. It felt good finally to have my hands on my bare breasts. Watch this! I thought, and pinched the nipples, rolling them between my thumb and let my forefinger, as I’d just seen the redhead do on the tape. Each time I did it, a jolt of electricity ran down my body into my pussy.

Suddenly I didn’t care that much about what Brian was seeing or feeling or doing. I just knew that I had to come. I stood up and took off my panties. My juices were all over my pussy lips. I couldn’t believe how wet I was. I sat down again and rubbed myself in just the right place.

Usually, I didn’t put my fingers inside myself. But on the screen, the two women were up on their knees, kissing each other and playing with each other. Behind them, the man was taking turns, going back and forth between them. There were close-ups of his big cock going from one pussy to the other. It made me feel empty inside, and I brought my feet up and let my legs fall apart and stuck two fingers inside and put my thumb on my clit.

It felt great, and I was almost there, but I wanted to feel it from behind, like the women. I got up onto my knees and reached behind myself and used both hands at once.

On the tape, everybody was coming. The man pulled out of the redhead and his cock began to spurt. He used his hand to make his come land all over the women’s butts. The women were groaning and shaking and heaving.

Just at that moment, I heard a footstep, and suddenly I was filled with embarrassment, as if it was my mother who’d caught me, rather than my husband. Ridiculously, my hands stopped moving, as if I could deny what I was doing.

But it was too late. I was already starting to come. If I didn’t keep stroking myself right then, it would be a fizzle instead of an explosion, but I would still come. After all that, I had to save it. I moved both hands as quickly as I could. I came so hard I think I passed out for a moment. The next thing I knew, Brian had his arms around me, kissing me, running his hands over me. I couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so passionate. He lay me down on the couch, and he got out of his clothes like a magician. I glanced down at his cock and saw the semen smeared all over its head: he’d come in his pants, just from watching me. The thought made me hot all over again. And he was already hard again, or he’d never gotten soft. Either way, he entered me easily. He felt huge, as big as the man in the video. We didn’t even bother to turn off the porno tape.

HER FIRST BRA by Cris Mazza

(excerpt from A Body Chemical )

1981

There was one more card from Millard in November, a Thanksgiving card that said hope to see you again… someday… somewhere. Dale picked it up from the floor under the kitchen card table and said, “Who’s this from, your mother?”

“Yuckity yuk.” Leala was slicing hotdogs to go into canned beans. Dale ate lunch at about 10 a.m. when he got home from delivering tortillas to restaurants.

“Well, who is it?”

“It’s a photographer I did a session for. I guess he liked me. Whose mother should we visit for Thanksgiving?”

“A session? What’s that mean? You’re working as a model? Since when?”

“About six months.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought I did.” She put a plate of tepid franks-n-beans in front of him then started sorting through the mail, putting the utility and credit card bills in one pile for Dale to pay from his checking account, the rent and food came from hers. She had a session that afternoon. The guy on the phone yesterday asked how old she was and she’d answered I’m very bold, why’d you ask? then the guy digressed to something else, the color of her hair and eyes, how tall she was, her measurements. She’d changed her ad again. It said, young, versatile female model for private photo sessions with imaginative photographers, you won’t