'You are wasting time. I am here to free you, under certain conditions. The League has need of a criminal. One who is both skilled and reliable. Which is an oxymoron. You have proved your criminalistic ability by your almost-successful theft. The poison guarantees your reliability. Do I assume that you will cooperate? At the minimum you have a life extension of thirty days.'
'Yes, sure, you're on. Not that I have a choice.'
'You don't.' He looked at the watch set into his little fingernail and stepped aside as the door opened. A chubby, bearded youth came in with a sheaf of papers.
'Excellent,' Narcoses said. 'You have the will?' The young man nodded. The door was closed and sealed again.
'Five minutes,' Narcoses said.
The newcomer pulled down a zipper that sealed his onepiece suit. Took off the suit - and a lot of flesh with it. The suit was padded. He was not fat at all, but lean and muscular quite like me. When he peeled off the fake beard I realized that he looked exactly like me. I blinked rapidly as I stared at my own face.
'Only four minutes left diGriz. Put on the suit. I'll fix the beard.'
The well-built and handsome stranger pulled on my discarded robe. Stepped aside when Narcoses took a key from his pocket, bent and unlocked the restraining cuff on my ankle. Handed it to the other who emotionlessly bent and snapped it to its own ankle.
'Why - why are you doing this?' I asked him.
He said nothing, just leaned over to retrieve the gun.
'I'll need another bullet,' he said. With my voice.
'The Colonel will supply it,' Narcoses said. Then I remembered something else he had said just moments ago,
'You called me diGriz. You know my name?'
'I know a lot more than that,' he said pressing the beard and mustache into position on my face. 'Carry these papers. Follow me out of here. Keep your mouth shut.'
All of which I was very happy to do. With one last look at my imprisoned self I trotted forth to freedom.
Chapter 3
I trotted behind Narcoses, clutching the papers and trying to think bearded and fat. The guards were ignoring us, watching instead with sadistic fascination as one of their number started to close the watertight door.
'Wait,' the Colonel said, opening a small box and taking out a cartridge. He looked up as I passed, stared me straight in the face. I felt perspiration bursting from my pores. The momentary glance must have lasted about a subjective hour. Then he kept on turning and called out to the guard.
'Open that again you idiot? I load the gun then you close the door. When that has been done this business will be over with once and for all.'
We turned a corner and the noxious group vanished from sight behind us. Silently, as ordered, I followed the lawyer through many a guarded portal, into an elevator, out of it and then through one final door, escaping the Mint at last. Letting out a great sigh of relief as we went past the armed guards and headed for the waiting ground car.
'I …'
'Silence! Into the car. Speak to me in the office about a salary raise - not before.'
Narcoses must know things that I didn't. Detector bugs in the ornamental trees we were passing? Acoustic microphones aimed our way? I realized now that my carefully planned crime had apparently been a disaster from the moment I had conceived it.
The driver was silent as a tomb - and about as attractive. I watched the buildings stream by, then the outskirts of the city appeared. We drove on until we reached a small building in a leafy suburb. The front door opened as we approached, then closed behind us apparently without human intervention. The same thing happened to the inner door which was tastefully labeled with jewel-studded gold letters PEDERASTS NARCOSES Attorney at Laws. It closed silently and I wheeled about and pointed a menacing finger at him.
'You knew about me even before I landed on this planet.'
'Of course. As soon as your false credentials were filed the investigation began.'
'So you stood by and let me plot and plan and commit a crime and get sentenced to death - without making any attempt to interfere?'
'That's right.'
'That's criminal! More of a crime than my crime.'
'Not really. You were always going to be plucked out of that terminal swimming pool in any case. We just wanted to see how well you did.'
'How did I do?'
'Very good - for a lad your age. You got the job.'
'Well good for me. But what about my double - the bloke who took my place?'
'That bloke, as you refer to him, is one of the finest and most expensive humanoid robots that money can afford. Which money will not be wasted since the doctor who is now performing the postmortem is in our pay. The incident is closed.'
'Wonderful,' I sighed, dropping limply onto the couch. 'Look, can I get a drink? It has been a long day. No spirits however - a beer will do fine.'
'A capital idea. I will join you.'
A tiny but well-stocked bar unfolded from one wall; the dispenser produced two chilled brews. I gulped and smacked.
'Excellent. If I have only thirty days to go shouldn't you be telling me about what you want me to do?'
'In good time,' he said, sitting down across from me. 'Captain Varod asked me to send his regards. And to convey the message that he knew you were lying when you promised to give up a life of crime.'
'So he had me watched?'
'You're catching on. After this last criminal assignment for us you will become an honest man. Or else.'
'Who are you to talk!' I sneered and drained the glass. 'A crooked shyster who is theoretically paid to uphold the law. Yet you stand by and let the thugs here on Paskonjak pass legislation to have trials after an execution - then you employ a criminal to commit a criminal act. Not what I would call sincerely law-abiding.'
'First,' he said, lifting a finger in a very legalistic way, 'we have never condoned the secret law in the Mint. It was only recently produced by the overly-paranoid management here. Yours was the first arrest - and will be the last. There have been numerous job replacements already. Secondly,' another finger rose to join the first, 'the League has never condoned violence or criminal acts. This is the first occurrence and has been produced by an unusual series of circumstances. After great deliberation the decision was made to do it just this one time. And never again.'
'Millions might believe that,' I sneered disbelievingly. 'Isn't it time you told me what the job is?'
'No - because I don't know myself. My vote was cast against this entire operation so I have been included out. Professor Van Diver will brief you.'
'But what about the thirty-day poison?'
'You will be contacted on the twenty-ninth day.' He stood up and went to the door. 'It is against my principles to wish you good luck.'
This was his puritanical pontificatory exit line. Because as he went out an elderly type with a white beard and a monocle entered.
'Professor Van Diver I presume?'
'Indeed,' he said extending a damp, limp hand for me to shake. 'You must be the volunteer with the nom de guerre of Jim about whose presence I was informed, who would await me here. It was very good of you to undertake what can only be called a rather diligent and difficult assignment.'
'Rather,' I intoned, falling into his academic mode of speech. 'Is there any remote possibility that I might be informed of the nature of this assignment?'
