whispering:
— Still bewitching, I see.
— More than ever! I was just waiting for you to resume our conversation with swords in hand, retorted Mrs. de Sancy.
— We'll talk about it later, said d'Haucourt evasively, but why are you laughing?
The reason was that Choisy, looking at d'Haucourt, recalled in his mind the sight of his brandished cock. It seemed that henceforth he would never see d'Haucourt without this image superimposing itself on his actual sight. And Lisette thought exactly the same as her master for she had a mocking temperament by nature. D'Haucourt who had planned to make Mrs. de Sancy's heart melt at the sight of his monstrous instrument, had only succeeded in bringing about her jeers.
Choisy, while going from guest to guest in his perfect imitation of a lady, was a little worried, wondering whether d'Haucourt had smelt a rat and was not beginning to wonder about Mrs. de Sancy's strange personality. Was he at last glimpsing the truth?
Rosalie, who was there that evening in the salon, was more affectionate to Choisy than usual, which, if d'Haucourt had any suspicious, would have fortified them. Choisy even feared the scandal that d'Haucourt's discovery of his true sex would have caused, for d'Haucourt would not have kept the fact to himself. He even thought it might be best to have a duel without witnesses with d'Haucourt, so that, whether one or the other should be injured, the affair would be over at last. Except of course if d'Haucourt had still chosen to shout it about as a revenge for having been made a fool of.
Choisy had been using all his self-control not to tell off Rosalie for being so demonstrative in public. At last, he decided to speak up:
— Please take a hold upon yourself, Rosalie, he whispered to her, keep your effusions for later.
— Not this evening, Rosalie answered, piqued, we're playing Mr. de Moliere's new comedy.
– 'The Countess of Escarbaquas'?
— Yes, and we shall probably be taking encores till far into the evening.
— Well, we shall be all the more passionate the next night, said Choisy philosophically.
— You don't seem to mind, Rosalie retorted huffily, and, getting up, left Choisy for another group of guests.
D'Haucourt, who had been watching the scene, stepped near Mrs. de Sancy and insinuated:
— A lovers' quarrel?
— What do you mean?
— One could swear that — What? said Choisy aggressively.
— It would look as if between you and this actress there should be a strange relationship.
— Stop this persiflage, Mr. d'Haucourt, you and I don't speak the same language.
— I won't leave it at that, d'Haucourt threatened in a tone which Choisy did not like at all.
But they left it at that for this time, as if, on a tacit understanding they reserved their antagonism for another time.
A while later, Nicholas being on duty, Choisy explained to Lisette:
— This d'Haucourt is becoming insufferable. As long as I haven't put into his body a few inches of steel — That would create a lot of troubles, Lisette answered. I have an idea, I think it would be better to find a person to replace you. Yes, some woman who, at night, would take your place in the dark and fool d'Haucourt into believing it was you. I wouldn't mind doing it myself, except that, well, he's not my size, if you see what I mean.
And, to emphasize her words, Lisette put up her forearm with her clenched fist.
Choisy smiled understandingly.
— I should never dream of asking such a painful service of you, Lisette.
Meanwhile, his busy fingers probed the cavern of love and Lisette squirmed with pleasure. But she still found enough energy to suggest with a stroke of genius:
— And if we found a woman who would accept to — Yes, good idea, said Choisy, but she would have to be endowed with a sizeable receptacle.
— Let's put an advertisement in the gazette, said Lisette.
— It would have to be in veiled terms, for no one would ever boast of such an apparel, Choisy remarked.
They did not pursue the subject for Lisette was drawing towards her the man she loved, and she guided his virility into her flower, which was ripe-ready for receiving you-know-what.
And so they did it again, and they grunted with pleasure and their kisses took in the form of sucking bites, so intense was their passion.
But Choisy was soon to have another cause for preoccupation.
On the following day he received a note from Rosalie in which she begged him to come and see her urgently. He had just time to make himself beautiful and order his coach, and he arrived a few moments later at Rosalie's. He found her in tears and still in bed.
— Is there a fire in the house? mocked Choisy.
— A fire? That could be extinguished, Rosalie answered in a double-entendre which Choisy did not grasp fully until later, my darling, do you forgive me for having been a little nervous last night?
— Forgive you? Why should you ask me that? I have nothing to forgive you. I know that on the day of a premiere one is always awfully busy. And I'm certain you had a lot of success in this new play.
— Yes, I had, but that's trifle compared with what's worrying me. Listen to my confession And she told Choisy that she was expecting a child from him, adding:
— Haven't we done everything to arrive at such a result?
Choisy laughed it off.
— So I'm going to be a father, me, Mrs. de Sancy? That's nothing short of a miracle! he exclaimed.
But Rosalie was in no mood for laughs and her eyes became wet with swelling tears.
— The miracle would be for the poor little child to have a father, she said, would you be willing to recognize your paternity.
— Oh, dear, that is a problem which I can't solve at once, it demands reflection.
— Yes, I suppose it's with a certain purpose that you took on the identity of Mrs. de Sancy?
— I do no wrong to anybody by doing that, Choisy remarked, but, come to think of it, you have so many wooers that you should have no difficulty in finding a man to accept the responsibility of fatherhood.
— Yes, it would be easy if they had done the “work” themselves, but finding it already done is another matter altogether.
Choisy thoughtfully rubbed his chin with his forefinger, glad to find that its smoothness deceived people into believing he was really a woman, then, all of a sudden, he had an idea:
— What about du Rozan?
— Him! she cried, you're not seriously thinking — Doesn't he swear to everybody that he adores you?
— Not to that point.
— Who knows, said Choisy, human credulity is infinite.
— You know that as well as women do, Rosalie observed in a tone full in insinuations.
— Don't worry, darling, and trust me to fix things all right, he told her, caressing her teats the while.
That evening, Choisy broke the news to Lisette, who exclaimed:
— At least I have nothing to fear from that side: Nicholas is there to take the blame.
— Would you fancy being in Rosalie's predicament?
— I wouldn't mind provided my child resembled the real father.
— And that his putative father did not discover the truth, Choisy added. But let's come back to du Rozan. How are we going to decide him?
— Yes, that's a problem not easily solved, Lisette admitted. But it was no use thinking about it yet, they reflected, for they were beginning to feel their senses at work, calling them urgently for immediate satisfaction.
So they threw themselves on the bed and rolled to and fro before finding the position they liked best. They laughed gaily at first to be so happy compared to Rosalie and all the rest of the world, all full of worries. Then they stopped laughing and kissed full on the mouth and Lisette's crater watered abundantly, ready to receive the now
