I got it for him. This time he started sipping it, and smacked his lips. He said,
'This is a relief. The whiskey is too, of course, but I was referring particularly to this opportunity to become articulate again.
No; I am further than ever from a Deity in the stratosphere, but much closer to my fellow man. I have a confession to make, Mr. Wolfe, and it might as well be to you as anyone. I have learned more in these eleven days masquerading as a roughneck than in all the previous forty-three years of my existence.'
'Harun-al-Rashid -'
'No. Excuse me. He was seeking. entertainment, I was seeking life. First, I thought, merely my own life, but I found much more. For instance, if you were to say to me now what you said three weeks ago, that you would undertake to remove | my fear of Paul Chapin by destroying him, I would say: certainly, by all means, how much do I owe you? For I understand now that the reason for my former attitude was nothing but a greater fear than the fear of death, the fear of accepting responsibility for my own Preservation – You don't mind if I talk?
God, how I want to talk!'
Wolfe murmured, 'This room is hardened to it.' He rang for beer. ^Thank you. In these eleven days I have learned that psychology, as a formal science, is pure hocus-pocus. All written and printed words, aside from their function of relieving boredom, are meaningless drivel. I have fed a halfstarved child with my own hands. I have seen two men batter each other with their fists until the blood ran. I have watched boys picking up girls. I have heard a woman tell a man, in public and with a personal application, facts which I had dimly supposed were known, academically, only to those who have read Havelock Ellis. I have observed hungry workingmen eating in a Coffee Pot. I have seen a tough boy of the street pick up a wilted daffodil from the gutter. It is utterly amazing, I tell you, how people do things they happen to feel like doing. And I have been an instructor in psychology for seventeen years! Merde! Could I have a little more whiskey?f9 I didn't know whether Wolfe needed him (sober, but I saw no warning gesture from him, so I went and filled the glass again.
This time I brought some White Rock for a chaser and he started on that first.
Wolfe said, 'Mr Hibbard. I am fascinated at the prospect of your education and I shall insist on hearing it entire, but I wonder if I could interpose a I question or two. First I shall need to contradict you by observing that before your eleven days' education began you had learned enough to assume a disguise simple and effective enough to preserve your B incognito, though the entire police force – and one or two other people – were looking for you. Really an achievement.'
The fizz had ascended into the psychologist's nose, and he pinched it; _ 'Oh no. That sort of thing is rule of thumb. The first rule, of course, is, •nothing that looks like disguise. My best items were the necktie and the scratch on my cheek. My profanity, I fear, was not well done; I should not have undertaken it. But my great mistake was the teeth; it was the very devil to get the gold leaf cemented on, and I was forced to confine ^y diet almost exclusively to milk and soup. Of course, having once made my appearance, I could not abandon them.
The clothing, I am proud of.'
'Yes, the clothing.' Wolfe looked him over. 'Excellent. Where did you get it?'
'A second-hand store on Grand Street.
I changed in a subway toilet, and so was properly dressed when I went to rent a room on the lower West Side.'
'And you left your second pipe at home. You have estimable qualities, Mr.
Hibbard.'
'I was desperate.'
'A desperate fool is still a fool. What, in your desperation, did you hope to accomplish? Did your venture pretend to any intelligent purpose?'
Hibbard had to consider. He swallowed some whiskey, washed it off with fizz, and coated that with another sip of whiskey.
He finally said, 'So help me, I don't know. I mean I don't know now. When I left home, when I started this, all that I felt moving me was fear. The whole long story of what that unlucky episode, twenty-five years ago – of what it did to me, would sound fantastic if I tried to tell it. I was too highly sensitized in spots; I suppose I still am, doubtless it will show again in the proper surroundings. I am inclining now to the environmental school – you hear that? Atavism! Anyhow, fear had me, and all I was aware of was a desire to get near Paul Chapin and keep him under my eye. I had no plans, further than that. I wanted to watch him. I knew if I told anyone, even Evelyn – my niece, there would be danger of his getting onto me, so I made a thorough job of it. But the last few days I have begun to suspect that in some gully of my mind, far below consciousness, was a desire to kill him. Of course there is no such thing as a desire without an intention, no matter how nebulous it may be. I believe I meant to kill him. I believe I have been working up to it, and I still am. I have no idea what this talk with you will do to me. I see no reason why it should have any effect one way or another.'
'You will see, I think.' Wolfe emptied his glass. 'Naturally you do not know that Mr. Chapin has mailed verses to your friends stating explicitly that he killed you | by clubbing you over the head.'
'Oh yes. I know that.'
The clothing, I am proud of.'
'Yes, the clothing.' Wolfe looked him over. 'Excellent. Where did you get it?'
'A second-hand store on Grand Street.
I changed in a subway toilet, and so was properly dressed when I went to rent a ^ room on the lower West Side.' | 'And you left your second pipe at I home. You have estimable qualities, Mr.
Hibbard.'
'I was desperate.'
'A desperate fool is still a fool. What, in your desperation, did you hope to • accomplish? Did your
