Wolfe. I would say he did just fair with it: 'Certainly not. Why should I?' His mouth stayed open; he thought he would talk some more, and then he thought he wouldn't.
Wolfe sighed again. 'Mr. Bowen, you are a simpleton. – Gentlemen, I would like to explain briefly why I have not done sooner what I am going to do now. There were two reasons: because I am not fond of interfering in affairs that are not my concern, and because it would be expensive for me. To be exact, it will cost me twelve hundred dollars, the amount of Mr. Bowen's payment under the memorandum. Besides that, as I have said, it was none of my business. If any | person is suspected of having committed a crime, and if I am offered a sufficient sum of money to catch him up, I will do it.
That is my business. I understand that there are individuals who will undertake to apprehend wrongdoers, especially murderers, without being paid for it. They do it, I presume, for amusement, which is not astonishing when you consider what odd diversions have been sought by various members of our race. I myself have other means of escaping boredom, but this is the only one I have developed of avoiding penury. I will hunt anyone down if you pay me enough. But no one has offered to pay me for discovering the murderer of Dr. Burton. By exposing him and delivering him to justice I shall lose twelve hundred dollars, but I shall ensure the collection of a larger sum. – Now. Mr. Farrell, would you mind moving to another chair? If you please. And you, Archie, take the seat Mr. Farrell is vacating, next to Mr. Bowen.'
I moved. My eye hadn't left Bowen since Wolfe had asked him to vote yes, and now all eyes were on him. Nobody was saying a word. The stockbroker was up against it. By skating all around him with inference and insinuation but not directly accusing him, and prolonging it, Wolfe had him plenty perplexed. The others staring at him didn't help him any.
I suppose he was trying to decide whether it was time for him to jump up and begin resenting things. He didn't glance at me as I sat down by him; he was looking at Wolfe.
Wolfe was on the phone. He kept his usual tempo, taking his time, though he had to try three numbers before he reached the man he wanted. He finally got him. Nobody on the chairs moved by a hair while he was talking.
'Inspector Cramer? This is Nero Wolfe.
That's right. Good evening, sir.
–Inspector, I would like you to do me a favor. I have guests in my office, and no leisure at present for long explanations. I believe you know how much reliance may be placed in any positive statement I may make. Well. Will you send a man to my office – perhaps two would be better – for the murderer of Dr. Loring A.
Burton? I have him here. – No. No, indeed. I beg you, explanations can come later. – Of course, proof; what good is certainty without proof. – By all means, if you wish to come yourself. Certainly.'
He pushed the phone back, and Bowen jumped up. His knees were trembling, and so were his little lady-hands, which I was watching to see that he didn't make a pass. I took advantage of his being up to feel his rear for a gun, and my hands on him startled him. He forgot what he was going to say to Wolfe and turned on me, and by God he hauled off and kicked me on the shin. I got up and grabbed him and pushed him back into his chair and observed to him:
'You try another friendly gesture like that and I'll paste you one.'
Drummond, who had been sitting next to Bowen, on the other side, moved away.
Several others got up. Wolfe said:
'Sit down, gentlemen. – I beg you, there is no occasion for turmoil.
–Archie, if you will kindly bring Mr.
Bowen closer; I would like to see him better while talking to him. If it is necessary to prod him, you may do so.'
I I stood up and told the stockbroker to find his feet. He didn't move and he didn't look up; his hands were in his lap twisting in a knot and there were various colors distributed over his face and neck and I was surprised not to see any yellow.
I said, 'Get a move on or I'll move you.'
From behind me I heard George Pratt's voice:
'You don't have to prove you're tough.
Look at the poor devil.'
'Yeah?' I didn't turn because I didn't care to take my eyes off of Bowen. 'Was it your shin he kicked? Speak when you're spoken to.'
I grabbed Bowen's collar and jerked him up, and he came. I admit he was pitiful. He stood for a second trying to look around at them, and he tried to keep the quaver out of his voice: 'Fellows. You understand why… if I don't say anything now to… to this ridiculous…'
He couldn't finish it anyhow, so I hauled him away. I put a chair up and sat him in it, then I perched on the edge of Wolfe's desk so as to face him. Two or three of the bunch got to their feet and approached us. Wolfe turned to face the stockbroker:
'Mr. Bowen. It gives me no pleasure to prolong your discomfiture in the presence of your friends, but in any event we must wait until the police arrive to take you away. Just now you used the word ridiculous; may I borrow it from you?
You are the most ridiculous murderer I have ever met. I do not know you well enough to be able to say whether it was through vast stupidity or extraordinary insouciance; however that may be, you planned the most hazardous of all crimes as if you were devising a harmless parlor game.
'I am not merely taunting you; I am depriving you of your last tatters of hope and courage in order to break you down.
You stole a large sum from Dr. Burton through his account with your firm. I know nothing of the mechanism of your theft; that will be uncovered when the District Attorney examines your books.
