forms and fingerprinting necessary. Two, if you are carrying a gun, never withdraw the weapon from its holster. Three, if you ignore two, due to circumstances beyond your control, and withdraw the weapon from its holster, never point it at anyone. Four, if you should foolishly point it at someone, never touch the trigger. It is very good if eyewitnesses to a gun in your hand see your trigger finger laid along the barrel, instead of on the trigger. Five, if you should accidentally touch the trigger, never pull or squeeze it, unless during this whole process you have become absolutely convinced that the loss of your own life is imminent if you do not pull the trigger. Six-and this is the second most important rule, after number one-if you make the decision to pull the trigger, DO NOT MISS! We will be conducting classes in not missing every day of your visit with us.”
Josh hopped down from the table. “Now we’ll take a fifteen-minute break so that you can pee in your pants. After that, one of my associates, an expert with the fighting knife, will demonstrate to you how to introduce an assailant to his own intestines. Bring something to throw up in.” He walked out of the gym, leaving his students to mill about.
38
Stone and Dino met for lunch at P.J. Clarke’s.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Dino asked. “You sounded funny on the phone.”
“Funny ha ha or funny queer?”
“Funny queer. Ha ha.”
“You’re right. Marla Rocker has a problem, maybe a very serious problem. I’ve moved her into my house for a few days while we sort this out.”
“You mean, while I sort it out.”
“I mean, I’ll sort out her problems, but you can make the arrest.”
“Gee, who do I get to arrest?”
“A man named Ed Abney.”
“And who the fuck is Ed Abney?”
“He runs a publicity agency called Bright Lights, Ink, with a ‘k.’”
“Cute. Did he issue an illegal press release?”
“You know the actress found dead in the apartment in your precinct a couple of days ago?”
“You’re just wondering if I know what goes on in my precinct, aren’t you?”
“Well, yes.”
“Annette Redfield.”
“You win this,” Stone said, handing him a French fry.
Dino ate the French fry. “I want to thank everybody who voted for me.”
“Ed Abney scared Annette Redfield enough so that she was about to flee the city to get away from him.”
“And you know this how?”
“Remember the other night at Marla’s opening-night party?”
“Yes.”
“She saw Abney there with Redfield. Abney has been sort of stalking Marla, in spite of her asking him to go away. Redfield followed her into the ladies’ john and told her to watch out for him, that he has a history of violence with women. Apparently, she was talking about herself, since she was about to make a run for it.”
Dino got out his cell phone and pressed a speed dial button. “Viv? Bacchetti. We’ve got a suspect in the Annette Redfield strangling, name of Ed Abney.” He gave her the name of Abney’s agency and told her about Marla’s conversation with Redfield at Sardi’s. “No, don’t pick him up just yet. I want to know if Abney has an arrest record and if he has any TROs out on him. Call me back with results before you make an arrest. Thanks, kiddo.” Dino hung up.
“So you’ve got DeCarlo on speed dial now?”
“It makes it easier to dial her.”
“I’ll bet. How many of your other detectives do you have on speed dial?”
Dino ignored that one. “What are you doing about Marla?”
“I’m keeping her at my house, and I sent Allison to court to get a TRO against Abney.”
Dino looked at his watch. “How long ago?”
“Around ten this morning.”
“See if you can stop her,” Dino said.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to rattle the guy’s cage just yet. We’ll have a moment later when we can use the TRO to piss him off.”
Stone pressed Allison’s speed dial number.
“Allison here.”
“It’s Stone. Have you made the application for the TRO yet?”
“No, not yet.”
“Get it but don’t serve it yet. Dino wants to wait a bit.”
“What’s Dino got to do with it?”
“Dino is the police, remember? He feels that he should do some investigation before we slap Abney with the TRO.”
“Whatever you say. Who do I bill for this on my time sheet?”
“Call it pro bono.”
“Sounds more like pro boner to me,” she said, then hung up.
Stone laughed and put his phone away. “She said it sounds more like ‘pro boner.’”
Dino laughed. “Smart girl, Allison.”
“Smart-ass,” Stone said.
When Stone got back to his office he found Marla, Joan, and Allison sitting in his office, giggling.
“Did you ladies get into the cooking sherry?” he asked.
“No, it was your bourbon,” Joan replied, getting up. “Come on, Allison, Simon Legree has returned.” The two women went back to their own offices.
“So,” Stone said, “what’s happened that made the three of you need a drink in the early afternoon?”
“It’s not all that early,” Marla said.
“Two-thirty is early. I’m going to have to start marking the bottle. Now come on, give.”
“Oh, all right. I went over to my house to get a few things.”
“Marla…”
“I know, I know, you told me not to go over there without you. It’s all right, I took Joan.” She took a sip of her bourbon. “And she took her gun.”
“Swell,” Stone said. “What will the neighbors think? The two of you traipsing around Turtle Bay Gardens with a gun.”
“Who cares?”
“You still haven’t told me what rattled you. And don’t tell me you’re not rattled. I know when Joan is rattled, and she doesn’t rattle easily, and if she’s rattled, you’re rattled.”
Marla took another sip of her bourbon. “The house had been ransacked.”
“Ransacked?”
“Well, not the whole house, just the living room and my bedroom.”
“Ransacked?”
“Stop saying that-you know what it means.”
“What, exactly, does it mean in the context of your house?”
“Things had been upset in the living room, thrown around.”
“And in your bedroom?”
