Shapes of Clay

  In Congress once great Mowther shone,
    Debating weighty matters;
  Now into an asylum thrown,
    He vacuously chatters.
  If in that legislative hall
    His wisdom still he 'd vented,
  It never had been known at all
    That Mowther was demented.

BIMETALISM.

  Ben Bulger was a silver man,
    Though not a mine had he:
  He thought it were a noble plan
    To make the coinage free.
  'There hain't for years been sech a time,'
    Said Ben to his bull pup,
  'For biz—the country's broke and I'm
    The hardest kind of up.
  'The paper says that that's because
    The silver coins is sea'ce,
  And that the chaps which makes the laws
    Puts gold ones in their place.
  'They says them nations always be
    Most prosperatin' where
  The wolume of the currency
    Ain't so disgustin' rare.'
  His dog, which hadn't breakfasted,
    Dissented from his view,
  And wished that he could swell, instead,
    The volume of cold stew.
  'Nobody'd put me up,' said Ben,
    'With patriot galoots
  Which benefits their feller men
    By playin' warious roots;
  'But havin' all the tools about,
    I'm goin' to commence
  A-turnin' silver dollars out
    Wuth eighty-seven cents.
  'The feller takin' 'em can't whine:
    (No more, likewise, can I):
  They're better than the genooine,
    Which mostly satisfy.
  'It's only makin' coinage free,
    And mebby might augment
  The wolume of the currency
    A noomerous per cent.'
  I don't quite see his error nor
    Malevolence prepense,
  But fifteen years they gave him for
    That technical offense.

THE RICH TESTATOR.

  He lay on his bed and solemnly 'signed,'
    Gasping—perhaps 'twas a jest he meant:
  'This of a sound and disposing mind
    Is the last ill-will and contestament.'

TWO METHODS.

  To bucks and ewes by the Good Shepherd fed
  The Priest delivers masses for the dead,
  And even from estrays outside the fold
  Death for the masses he would not withhold.
  The Parson, loth alike to free or kill,
  Forsakes the souls already on the grill,
  And, God's prerogative of mercy shamming,
  Spares living sinners for a harder damning.

FOUNDATIONS OF THE STATE

  Observe, dear Lord, what lively pranks