Shapes of Clay

  Please suggest whatever suits you
    As a Theme for me to Think.'
  Then the hunter answered gravely:
    'From distraction free, and strife,
  You could ponder very bravely
    On the Vanity of Life.'
  'O, thou wise and learned Teacher,
    You have solved the Problem well—
  You have saved a grateful creature
    From the agonies of hell.
  'Take another root, another
    Cup of water: eat and drink.
  Now I have a Subject, brother,
    Tell me What, and How, to think.'

TO A CRITIC OF TENNYSON.

  Affronting fool, subdue your transient light;
  When Wisdom's dull dares Folly to be bright:
  If Genius stumble in the path to fame,
  'Tis decency in dunces to go lame.

THE YEARLY LIE.

  A merry Christmas? Prudent, as I live!—
  You wish me something that you need not give.
  Merry or sad, what does it signify?
  To you 't is equal if I laugh, or die.
  Your hollow greeting, like a parrot's jest,
  Finds all its meaning in the ear addressed.
  Why 'merry' Christmas? Faith, I'd rather frown
  Than grin and caper like a tickled clown.
  When fools are merry the judicious weep;
  The wise are happy only when asleep.
  A present? Pray you give it to disarm
  A man more powerful to do you harm.
  'T was not your motive? Well, I cannot let
  You pay for favors that you'll never get.
  Perish the savage custom of the gift,
  Founded in terror and maintained in thrift!
  What men of honor need to aid their weal
  They purchase, or, occasion serving, steal.
  Go celebrate the day with turkeys, pies,
  Sermons and psalms, and, for the children, lies.
  Let Santa Claus descend again the flue;
  If Baby doubt it, swear that it is true.
  'A lie well stuck to is as good as truth,'
  And God's too old to legislate for youth.
  Hail Christmas! On my knees and fowl I fall:
  For greater grace and better gravy call.
  Vive l'Humbug!—that's to say, God bless us all!

COOPERATION.

  No more the swindler singly seeks his prey;
  To hunt in couples is the modern way—
  A rascal, from the public to purloin,
  An honest man to hide away the coin.

AN APOLOGUE.

  A traveler observed one day
  A loaded fruit-tree by the way.
  And reining in his horse exclaimed:
  'The man is greatly to be blamed
  Who, careless of good morals, leaves
  Temptation in the way of thieves.
  Now lest some villain pass this way
  And by this fruit be led astray
  To bag it, I will kindly pack
  It snugly in my saddle-sack.'
  He did so; then that Salt o' the Earth
  Rode on, rejoicing in his worth.