'_I_ have done nothing!' said he indifferently. 'Heaven, as I have
been telling my hearers, has done all. No amount of contempt that
you can pour upon me, Tess, will equal what I have poured upon
myself--the old Adam of my former years! Well, it is a strange
story; believe it or not; but I can tell you the means by which my
conversion was brought about, and I hope you will be interested
enough at least to listen. Have you ever heard the name of the
parson of Emminster--you must have done do?--old Mr Clare; one of the
most earnest of his school; one of the few intense men left in the
Church; not so intense as the extreme wing of Christian believers
with which I have thrown in my lot, but quite an exception among the
Established clergy, the younger of whom are gradually attenuating the
true doctrines by their sophistries, till they are but the shadow of
what they were. I only differ from him on the question of Church and
State--the interpretation of the text, 'Come out from among them and
be ye separate, saith the Lord'--that's all. He is one who, I firmly
believe, has been the humble means of saving more souls in this
country than any other man you can name. You have heard of him?'
'I have,' she said.
'He came to Trantridge two or three years ago to preach on behalf of
some missionary society; and I, wretched fellow that I was, insulted
him when, in his disinterestedness, he tried to reason with me and
show me the way. He did not resent my conduct, he simply said that
some day I should receive the first-fruits of the Spirit--that those
who came to scoff sometimes remained to pray. There was a strange
magic in his words. They sank into my mind. But the loss of my
mother hit me most; and by degrees I was brought to see daylight.
Since then my one desire has been to hand on the true view to others,
and that is what I was trying to do to-day; though it is only lately
that I have preached hereabout. The first months of my ministry have
been spent in the North of England among strangers, where I preferred
to make my earliest clumsy attempts, so as to acquire courage before
undergoing that severest of all tests of one's sincerity, addressing
those who have known one, and have been one's companions in the days
of darkness. If you could only know, Tess, the pleasure of having a
good slap at yourself, I am sure--'
'Don't go on with it!' she cried passionately, as she turned away
from him to a stile by the wayside, on which she bent herself. 'I
can't believe in such sudden things! I feel indignant with you for
talking to me like this, when you know--when you know what harm
you've done me! You, and those like you, take your fill of pleasure
on earth by making the life of such as me bitter and black with
sorrow; and then it is a fine thing, when you have had enough of
that, to think of securing your pleasure in heaven by becoming
converted! Out upon such--I don't believe in you--I hate it!'
'Tess,' he insisted; 'don't speak so! It came to me like a jolly new
idea! And you don't believe me? What don't you believe?'
'Your conversion. Your scheme of religion.'
'Why?'
