He had undergone some strange experiences in his absence; he had seen
the virtual Faustina in the literal Cornelia, a spiritual Lucretia in
a corporeal Phryne; he had thought of the woman taken and set in the
midst as one deserving to be stoned, and of the wife of Uriah being
made a queen; and he had asked himself why he had not judged Tess
constructively rather than biographically, by the will rather than
by the deed?
A day or two passed while he waited at his father's house for the
promised second note from Joan Durbeyfield, and indirectly to recover
a little more strength. The strength showed signs of coming back,
but there was no sign of Joan's letter. Then he hunted up the
old letter sent on to him in Brazil, which Tess had written from
Flintcomb-Ash, and re-read it. The sentences touched him now as
much as when he had first perused them.
... I must cry to you in my trouble--I have no one
else! ... I think I must die if you do not come
soon, or tell me to come to you... please, please,
not to be just--only a little kind to me ... If
you would come, I could die in your arms! I would
be well content to do that if so be you had forgiven
me! ... if you will send me one little line, and say,
'I am coming soon,' I will bide on, Angel--O, so
cheerfully! ... think how it do hurt my heart not to
see you ever--ever! Ah, if I could only make your
dear heart ache one little minute of each day as mine
does every day and all day long, it might lead you to
show pity to your poor lonely one. ... I would be
content, ay, glad, to live with you as your servant,
if I may not as your wife; so that I could only be
near you, and get glimpses of you, and think of you
as mine. ... I long for only one thing in heaven
or earth or under the earth, to meet you, my own
dear! Come to me--come to me, and save me from what
threatens me!
Clare determined that he would no longer believe in her more recent
and severer regard of him, but would go and find her immediately. He
asked his father if she had applied for any money during his absence.
His father returned a negative, and then for the first time it
occurred to Angel that her pride had stood in her way, and that she
had suffered privation. From his remarks his parents now gathered
the real reason of the separation; and their Christianity was such
that, reprobates being their especial care, the tenderness towards
Tess which her blood, her simplicity, even her poverty, had not
engendered, was instantly excited by her sin.
Whilst he was hastily packing together a few articles for his journey
he glanced over a poor plain missive also lately come to hand--the
one from Marian and Izz Huett, beginning--
'Honour'd Sir, Look to your Wife if you do love her as much as she do
love you,' and signed, 'From Two Well-Wishers.'
LIV
