Cities of the Red Night

'No, thanks.'

'Well, we will have some fun at least. We will have an orgy.' He goes back to his chair on the other side of the desk and sits there watching me through cigar smoke.

'And why have you not come here sooner, Mr. Snide?' asks Krup in a cold dry voice.

'Oh well, there's a lot of legalwork in this business ...' I say vaguely.

'Ja und Assenwerke.' (Yes and asswork.)

'We want that you stop with the monkey business and do some real business, Mr. Snide.'

'We are not a charitable institution.'

'We do not finance ass fuckings.'

'Now just a minute, Blum and Krup. I wasn't aware you were my clients.'

Krup emits a short cold bray of laughter.

Blum takes the cigar out of his mouth and points the butt across the table at my chest. 'And who did you think was your million-dollar client?'

'A green bitch synthesized from cabbage?'

'Well, if you are my client, what am I expected to do exactly?'

Krup whinnies like a cynical horse.

'You are to recover certain rare books now in the possession of a certain Countess,' Blum says.

'I am not even sure I would know these books if I saw them.'

'You have seen samples.'

'I am not sure the samples correspond in any way to the alleged books I am retained to recover.'

'You think you have been deceived?'

'Not 'think.' Know.'

The room is so quiet you can hear the long gray cone of Blum's cigar fall into an ashtray. Finally he speaks. 'And suppose we could tell you exactly where the books are?'

'So they are in someone's private bank vault surrounded by guards and computerized alarm systems? I am supposed to sneak in there and carry out a carton of books slung over my shoulder in a rare tapestry, stamps and first editions in all my pockets, industrial diamonds up my ass in a finger stall, a sapphire big as a hen's egg in my mouth? Is that what I am expected to do?'

Blum laughs loud and long while Krup looks sourly at his nails. 'No, Mr. Snide. This is not what you are expected to do. There is a group of well-armed partisans operating in an adjacent area, who will occupy the Countess's stronghold. You will have only to go in after them and secure the books. There will be an outcry against the partisans who have so savagely butchered a rich foreign sow... Then stories will filter out about the Countess and her laboratories, and there'll be something in it for everybody. The CIA, the partisans, the Russians, the Chinese ... we will have some fun at least. Might start a little Vietnam down here.'

'Well,' I say. 'You have to take a broad general view of things.'

'We prefer a very specific view, Mr. Snide,' says Krup looking at a heavy gold pocket watch. 'Be here at this time Thursday and we will talk further. Meanwhile, I would strongly advise you to avoid further commitments.'