Naked Lunch

STUDENTS: ' Himself the man says.'

'Thereby call attention to his own unappetizing person.'

'That wasn't a nice thing to do, Teach.'

A hundred juvenile delinquents... switch blades clicking like teeth move at him. PROF: 'Oh Lansakes!' He tries desperately to disguise himself as an old woman with high black shoes and umbrella.... 'If it wasn't for my lumbago can't rightly bend over I'd turn them offering my Sugar Bum the way baboons do it.... If a weaker baboon be attacked by a stronger baboon the weaker baboon will either (a) present his hrump fanny I believe is the word, gentlemen, heh heh for passive intercourse or (b) if he is a different type baboon more extrovert and well-adjusted, lead an attack on an even weaker baboon if he can find one.'

Dilapidated Disease in 1920 clothes like she sleep in them ever since undulates across dreary neonlighted Chicago street... dead weight of the Dear Dead Days hanging in the air like an earthbound ghost. Diseuse: (canned heat tenor). 'Find the weakest baboon.' Frontier saloon: Fag Baboon dressed in little girl blue dress sings in resigned voice to tune of Alice Blue Gown: 'I'm the weakest baboon of them all.' A freight train separates the Prof. from the juveniles. ...When the train passes they have fat stomachs and responsible jobs....

STUDENTS: 'We want Lottie!'

PROF: 'That was in another country, gentlemen.... As I was saying before I was so rudely irrupted by one of my multiple personalities... troublesome little beasts... consider the Ancient Mariner without curare, lasso, bulbocapnine or straitjacket, albeit able to capture and hold a live audience.... What is his hrump gimmick? He he he he... He does not, like so-called artists at this time, stop just anybody thereby inflicting unsent for boredom and working random hardship.... He stops those who cannot choose but hear owing to already existing relation between The Mariner (however ancient) and the uh Wedding Guest....

'What the Mariner actually says is not important.... He may be rambling, irrelevant, even crude and rampant senile. But something happens to the Wedding Guest like happens in psychoanalysis when it happens if it happens. If I may be permitted a slight digression ...an analyst of my acquaintance does all the talking --patients listen patiently or not.... He reminiscences ...tells dirty jokes (old ones) achieves counterpoints of idiocy undreamed of by The County Clerk. He is illustrating at some length that nothing can ever be accomplished on the verbal level.... He arrived at this method through observing that The Listener --The Analyst --was not reading the mind of the patient.... The patient --The Talker --was reading his mind.... That is the patient has ESP

awareness of the analyst's dreams and schemes whereas the analyst contacts the patient strictly from front brain.... Many agents use this approach --they are notoriously long-winded bores and bad listeners....

'Gentlemen I will slop a pearl: You can find out more about someone by talking than by listening.'

Pigs rush up and the Prof. pours buckets of pearls into a trough....

'I am not worthy to eat his feet,' says the fattest hog of them all.

'Clay anyhoo.'

47

A.J.'S ANNUAL PARTY

A.J. turns to the guests. 'Cunts, pricks, fence straddlers, tonight I give you --that internationalknown impressario of blue movies and short-wave TV, the one, the only, The Great Slashtubitch!' He points to a red velvet curtain sixty feet high. Lightning rends the curtain from top to bottom. The Great Slashtubitch stands revealed. His face is immense, immobile like a Chimu funeral urn. He wears full evening dress, blue cape and blue monocle. Huge grey eyes with tiny black pupils that seem to spit needles. (Only the Coordinate Factualist can meet his gaze.) When he is angered the charge of it will blow his monocle across the room. Many an ill-starred actor has felt the icy blast of Slashtubitch's displeasure: 'Get out of my studio, you cheap four-flushing ham! Did you think to pass a counterfeit orgasm on me! THE GREAT SLASHTUBITCH! I could tell if you come by regard the beeg toe. Idiot! Mindless scum!! Insolent baggage!!! Go peddle thy ass and know that it takes sincerity and art, and devotion, to work for Slashtubitch. Not shoddy trickery, dubbed gasps, rubber turds and vials of milk concealed in the ear and shots of Yohimbine sneaked in the wings.' (Yohimbine, derived from the bark of a tree growing in Central Africa, is the safest and most efficient aphrodisiac. It operates by dilating the blood vessels on the surface of the skin, particularly in the genital area.)

Slashtubitch ejects his monocle. It sails out of sight, returns like a boomerang into his eye. He pirouettes and disappears in a blue mist, cold as liquid air... fadeout.... On Screen. Red-haired, green- eyed boy, white skin with a few freckles... kissing a thin brunette girl in slacks. Clothes and hair-do suggest existentialist bars of all the world cities. They are seated on low bed covered in white silk. The girl opens his pants with gentle fingers and pulls out his cock which is small and very hard. A drop of lubricant gleams at its tip like a pearl. She caresses the crown gently: 'Strip, Johnny.' He takes off his clothes with swift sure movements and stands naked before her, his cock pulsing. She makes a motion for him to turn around and he pirouettes across the floor parodying a model, hand on hip. She takes off her shirt. Her breasts are high and small with erect nipples. She slips off her underpants. Her pubic hairs are black and shiny. He sits down beside her and reaches for her breast. She stops his hands.

'Darling, I want to rim you,' she whispers.