tried to stop him; he had been the priest in charge of the sacrifice, after all. Even Caesar, seeing his in-law approach, thought nothing of it.
Uncle Gnaeus pulled the sacred blade from his vestments and thrust with all his might. Caesar never even flinched.
It requires only a single blow to the heart to kill a man. Caesar could be made to die just as easily as all the men and women and children whom he himself had killed in a long life of killing-all the Gauls and Massilians and Egyptians and Romans and peoples of Asia; all the kings and princes and pharaohs; all the consuls and senators, officers and foot soldiers, struggling commoners and starving beggars. Every man dies, and Caesar, thanks to Uncle Gnaeus, was shown to be no exception.
Caesar might be forgiven for all the death and suffering he had inflicted on others; warfare is the way of the world, after all. But for what he had done to Numa's sacrosanct calendar-corrupting it with Egyptian sorcery and false religion-he could not be allowed to live.
Caesar staggered, lurched, and fell forward against the placard. The weight of his dying body broke the wooden frame and ripped the fabric down the middle. Caesar tumbled down the temple steps. Triumphant, Uncle Gnaeus raised the knife and slashed the bloody blade against the remains of the calendar, destroying the hated object in a religious frenzy, all the while crying out the name of his ancestor King Numa.
The spectators gasped, wailed, cheered, screamed. Calpurnia shrieked, ran to Caesar's lifeless body, and tore at her hair like a madwoman. Hieronymus, imperturbable, fixed me with his sardonic gaze.
'Gordianus, Gordianus! How is it that you failed to anticipate this event and prevent it? Even your daughter, turning the facts over and over in her mind, has come to realize the truth. I told you she was smart! Not knowing where you are, failing to find you in the crowd, she thinks to warn Caesar herself. Look, there she is, at the entrance to the tent!'
Sure enough, I saw Diana, pleading and arguing with a lictor to let her enter. Above the tumult, I was able to hear her voice and catch a few phrases: 'But you must… to warn him… Caesar will know who I am-tell him it's the sister of Meto Gordianus…'
Hieronymus laid his hand on mine. I could not feel his touch. 'I was never here, old friend,' he said. 'Yet I am always with you.'
I was blinded by tears. I closed my eyes.
I gave a start. When I opened my eyes, Hieronymus was gone. I blinked and looked around, dazed.
The sacrifice was over. The priests and the camilli had vanished. The temple steps were vacant.
'Where is Uncle Gnaeus?' I whispered.
Next to me, Calpurnia raised an eyebrow. 'Why, he's in the tent, of course, changing his vestments. He did a splendid job with the sacrifice. Haven't you been watching?'
'I must have… closed my eyes… for a moment. And Caesar?'
'He's in the tent, too. He should be stepping out to speak any moment now.' Calpurnia frowned. 'But isn't that your daughter over there, arguing with the lictor?'
Sure enough, Diana was at the entrance of the tent. It must have been the sound of her voice that woke me. 'To warn him,' I heard her say. 'Don't you understand? If only my father were here, Caesar would…'
The grim-faced lictor was unmoved. Diana finally relented. She slumped her shoulders, defeated, and stepped back. The lictor let down his guard. Diana bolted past him and disappeared into the tent.
Caesar was in the tent. So was Uncle Gnaeus, with his knife.
I rose from the bench and ran toward the tent. The lictor, following Diana, had abandoned his post, and I was able to slip inside unopposed.
My eyes were slow to adjust to the filtered light. I saw a confusion of people and objects-priests, camilli, garlands, sacred vessels. At the far end of the tent, I saw the calendar. Arcesilaus was still working to complete his last-minute corrections. Caesar, his back to me, was hovering over the artist, his arms crossed, tapping the ground impatiently with one foot.
'Papa!'
Diana had been apprehended by the lictor, who was roughly escorting her back toward the entrance. But Uncle Gnaeus, still dressed in his bloodstained vestments, seized her arm as she passed by.
'Leave the girl with me, lictor.' His voice was low but insistent.
'Are you sure, pontifex?'
'Yes. Go back to guarding the entrance.'
'What about this fellow?' The lictor indicated me.
'He'll be leaving very soon. Very quietly. Isn't that right, Gordianus?' Uncle Gnaeus spoke through clenched teeth. His grip on Diana's arm was very tight. In his other hand, he held the knife.
My heart pounded in my chest. The moment felt unreal-far more unreal than my dream-conversation with Hieronymus. I spoke in a whisper. 'Gnaeus Calpurnius, you can't succeed. I won't let you. I have only to shout a warning to Caesar.'
'But you won't do that. Not while I'm holding your daughter. Now, go. Quietly!'
I shook my head. 'If you hurt Diana, if I shout-Don't you see, it can't happen now, not the way you intended, not in the middle of Caesar's presentation, for all Rome to witness. Your grand gesture has been spoiled.'
He considered for a moment, then nodded. 'You're right. It can't happen as I planned. I'll do it here in the tent, then. What matters is that the thing is done, not how or where or who sees it. As long as you and the girl keep your mouths shut, I needn't harm either of you. It will take only a moment for me to cross the tent and do what I have to do. Stay silent, Gordianus. And you do the same, girl, while we walk together toward Caesar.'
I stood frozen to the spot. What did I owe to Caesar? Nothing. Was he worth my daughter's life? Certainly not. How many crimes had Caesar committed? How many deaths had he caused, how much suffering had he inflicted on others? Was there any reason at all that I should try to save his life?
I heard Diana's answer in my head. 'People are beginning to live again-to hope, to plan, to think about the future… If Caesar were to be murdered… the killing would start all over again…'
Amid the preoccupied priests and camilli who chattered among themselves, preparing for the next part of the ceremony, Gnaeus Calpurnius was making his way across the tent, taking Diana with him. Caesar stood with his back to us. He and Arcesilaus were exchanging heated words about the calendar-why was it not ready, and who was responsible for the mistake? How strange that the conqueror of the world should be spending his last moments on earth wrangling over such an insignificant detail!
I stood dumbfounded. It was going to happen-not as I had dreamed it but as circumstance and the will of Gnaeus Calpurnius decreed. In a matter of heartbeats, Caesar would be dead, and the fate of the world would diverge from whatever course Caesar had intended.
'Gordianus! Uncle Gnaeus! What's going on?'
Sweeping past the lictor, Calpurnia followed me into the tent. She spoke in a loud, gruff whisper. Caesar didn't hear, but Uncle Gnaeus did. Distracted, he turned and looked at his niece.
There was only an instant in which the thing could be done. I acted without thinking. When men do such things, we say that the will of a god animates them, but I felt nothing, experienced nothing, thought nothing as I seized a libation bowl from a camillus standing nearby, flipped it upside down, and flung it at the man who held my daughter.
The shallow bowl hurtled spinning through the air and struck Uncle Gnaeus squarely on the forehead. He lost his grip on Diana; she slipped away from him in the blink of an eye. With a stupefied expression, he staggered backward, then forward. He lurched toward Caesar, out of control. He still held the knife. For a dreadful moment I thought he would yet sink the blade into Caesar's chest-for Caesar had turned and now stood facing him, looking confused. But Uncle Gnaeus careened past Caesar, past Arcesilaus, and hurtled headlong into the calendar.
The placard was ripped asunder-that part of my dream, at least, came true. Uncle Gnaeus tumbled head over heels. The knife flew from his grasp. He came to a halt and lay groaning and dazed on the ground amid the ruined remains of the calendar.
Red faced and sputtering, Arcesilaus looked ready to explode. Calpurnia let out a little scream and swooned; the lictor caught her. Diana ran into my arms; she trembled like a doe. The priests and camilli cried out in confusion. And Caesar…
Caesar alone, of everyone in that tent, appreciated the absolute absurdity of the moment. Resplendent in his gold-embroidered toga, wearing his crown of laurel leaves, the descendant of Venus and master of the world put his
