Marit was pretty sure she had been stabbed by an assassin's dagger in the Year of the Black Eagle. Three years before the Year of the Blue Ox.
The cloak fell open as she extended both arms and stared at the paler skin of her palms, like a ghost's hands against her brown complexion.
Joss had 'gone wild since her death'.
Three years it had been, according to Ladiya.
Three years.
Now she understood the punishment laid on her.
Marit walked out of Copper Hall, one clean foot set in front of the other clean foot and the first again and the second again, out to the turning, and there she stared one way along the North Shore Road and after that the other way. People were out and about, going on their business and their lives. They couldn't see her, because she was dead.
Is this what it means to be a wandering ghost, one whose spirit has failed to cross through the Spirit Gate?
She wept without sound because no one could hear her. At length she got bored of standing there and crying to no purpose. She turned north and walked toward Haya. The mey passed smoothly; no wonder she didn't tire. Questions dove like stooping eagles.
Do I even exist?
If no one can see me or hear me, then why can I see and hear myself?
What do I do now?
Late in the afternoon with the waters of the bay settling into their twilight calm and the light fading in the east, she saw the triple-gated entrance to the temple of Ilu beside the road and wondered if she could overnight in the lean-to. The bored young apprentice sitting as gatekeeper would not care. He would not even see her.
He was playing ticks-and-tacks in the dirt with a stick and pebbles. His dog whined and cowered, and the youth looked up and down the road and, seeing nothing, scratched its head absently. The temple compound was set back from the road, separated by gardens where the envoys and apprentices grew vegetables. The last workers were shouldering their hoes and rakes and laughing together as they headed up the track toward the compound walls. One shuffling figure wandered through the rows, bending to finger the strong green shoots.
A woman broke away from the laborers. 'Here, now, Mokass. Come along. It's time for our gruel.'
The lone figure skipped away from her, gabbling in a singsong voice. With a most unholy oath, the woman chased after him. He bolted, giggling, for the gate, a white-haired old man with bent shoulders and bowed back but nimble legs. The dog lifted an ear and barked once. The young gatekeeper heaved up, muttering.
'Oh, the hells. Not again.' But he wasn't really angry.
The old man skittered to a halt beneath the gate, staring at Marit. He leaped back a single hop, and raised both hands palms-out.
'Death, death!' he chanted. Tears flowed suddenly. 'Go away, fearsome one!'
'Can you see me?' Marit demanded.
'I never did it! I never stole that coin. Anyway, you don't want anyone here. Just walk on.'
The woman caught up with him and took hold of his right arm. 'Mere, now. Don't go running off. It's time for our gruel.' She nodded at the gatekeeper. 'Good work, Lagi.'
'1 did nothing. He just stopped of his own accord and started babbling.'
'He's gods-touched,' said the woman with as much fondness as exasperation. 'Poor old soul.'
'I beg you,' said Marit. 'Mokass. Is that your name? I need your help.'
'You've got no call to be knowing my name! Go away! We don't want you here
The dog tool' courage from the old man's defiance and began to bark at Marit In sympathy, more dogs within the compound started up a yammer.
'Aui! Mokam, just come along, now you've got them all going. My ears will swell up and drop off from the noise!' The woman dragged on him, and he wasn't strong enough to do more than stumble along unwillingly behind.
'Have to sen.d death off!' he cried. 'Go away! Go away!'
'In the name of the Lady, I beg you, Mokass,' Marit called after him. 'Go to the reeve hall and tell that the ghost of Marit sends warning: Beware Lord Radas of Iliyat. Let someone warn Copper Hall: Beware Lord Radas. He's the one who had me and my eagle killed.'
'Hush, now! Sit!' Lagi towered over the dog, scolding. 'You cursed beast! What's gotten into you?'
Mokass hopped, waving his hands as though batting away a swarm of wasps. 'Aui! Aui! Her eagle is copper. I was born in Iliyat, did you know that? But I won't tell any tales. They're all lies.' He did not look back over his shoulder, and his companion crooned soothingly as they walked away.
Marit sank into a crouch and covered her head with her arms, just sat on her heels and rocked. But it did no good. Nothing changed. The cursed dog kept barking, and finally the youth whapped him a single hard blow to shut him up, and that was too much for Marit. She jumped to her feet and ran off, not wanting the poor dog to be punished for doing its duty just because the only person who could see her was an old man not right in the head.
She walked through the night with its scraps of clouds and a Sickle Moon fattening toward the half, and at last she fumbled with the clasp and tore off the cloak and flung it aside with a scream of frustration and grief and fury and fear. She ran, as if by sprinting she might churn Spirit Gate into being and race through it to the other side, where she could find peace.
The running caught up with her. She began to cough, and could nol take in air. A wind rose off the bay, howling up the road and
over the fields. She staggered to a halt and fell to her knees, bracing herself on her hands as she gulped and hacked and gagged, her vision fading in and out. The world tilted and spun. She pitched forward, hit the gravel with her shoulder, and tumbled onto her back. A white mist rose off the road, rippling and billowing. Blown by the raging wind, the cloak slithered along the ground. Rising to envelop her, it molded itself to her face until she could not breathe. She fought and clawed, but it devoured her. There was no pain.
She woke alone, sprawled naked on a Guardian altar with only a cloak for a covering. Her eagle was dead, so she must be dead, because no reeve survived the death of her eagle. Since it was too much trouble to try to make sense of the world, she slept.
In her dreams she trudged up hills or slogged through swampy coastlands, searching for the man she loved or for her eagle or for an answer. She wandered, lost and alone, and kept falling, falling, until she woke again with the cloak wrapped around her. She found herself in a new place, one she did not recognize except it was high and exposed and the stone ledge on which she lay glittered with a twisting pattern grown into the rock.
It was a Guardian altar, just like the ones before.
She had a headache as bad as if she'd been sucking sweet-smoke, drugged and dazzled for days, as good an explanation as any although how she had gotten up to a Guardian's altar she could not figure. It seemed she was only now truly waking up. Probably she had dreamed the entire journey to Copper Hall.
She felt thirsty and hungry, and she wanted clothing because the winds on the height chilled her. With the cloak clasped at her throat, she climbed a treacherous path down to the base of the altar, bloodying her feet and hands. She stumbled through sparse highlands forest and happened upon a shepherd's high pasture cottage, uninhabited in the cold season. Here she found a storeroom with old but serviceable tools and hunting equipment. She also found humble clothing, needing a wash that, she discovered later, hadn't gotten out all the clinging lice, and a stash of nuts and moldering nai to be pounded into a paste for a stale porridge.
The thing is, when you're not sure if you have become a ghost or
perhaps something more frightening, you are wise to choose prudence. When a winged horse lands in the highlands meadow where you are sheltering, where you are trying to make sense of what has happened to you, you don't chase it away. You investigate, because you are still a reeve in your heart. In a small bag hooked to the back of the saddle, you discover a modest offering bowl like those beggars carry, and a polished black stone. The offering bowl presents no surprises; it is just a bowl. But when you place the stone in your left hand to get a better look at it, a sharp pain strikes up your arm and a flash like lightning sears you.
When you wake again, to find yourself on the ground with dirt and debris covering you as though a storm has blown over you or days have passed, and that cursed horse slobbering across your face as it nuzzles you, then you
