prerogatives. At a time when she’s under tremendous pressure to return to the policies of her father.”
“Are you trying to bully me?”
Hecht belched thunderously, accompanying that with a toot from the nether orifice. “Your Holiness? No! I’m trying to make you aware of how other people might perceive your actions. And how some might respond. I wouldn’t want to bring up painful memories…”
“But?”
Hecht waved a hand to hasten the dispersal of gas he had jut passed. “Please recall what happened in the Connec, with other people who didn’t admire you so much as you do yourself.”
Ouch! Not the best way to say that.
Anger floated across Serenity’s face, went away. The Patriarch suspected that he was being baited, probably not intentionally. “There is one other matter. Well, two other matters. One is the disappearance of weapons and equipment belonging to our forces.”
“Your Holiness? Everything was accounted for when I turned over command. My staff kept meticulous records. The kind of corruption you see in most forces wasn’t allowed to take root under my command.”
Serenity did not sound pleased when he admitted, “So I’ve heard. I heard complaints during the Interregnum.”
“People actually complained because I wouldn’t let them steal from the Church?”
“They did. Though they made it sound like something else.”
Hecht released more gas, less quietly. “You Holiness, if you’re having problems with things going missing, you should talk to the people you sent to take over.” Now he passed a long, silent stream of gas, moved to evade the worst of it.
“I was hoping it would be simpler than that.”
“Pinkus has the records.” He hoped Ghort was not stealing. “We had inventory numbers marked on everything. Who had what will be in the records.”
“I’ll take another look, then.”
“The other thing?”
“The relationship you’ve developed with Muniero Delari. I’m curious about that. And I’m even more curious about what goes on inside that town house.”
“You expect me to tell you anything? I owe Principat? Delari a great deal.”
“I gather. He took over sponsoring you when Grade Drocker died. Though Drocker’s interest in you never made sense. Now I hear there’s another villain lurking in that town house. One Cloven Februaren, who styles himself the Ninth Unknown. But Cloven Februaren is supposed to have died before I was born.”
“I assume you’re talking about the old man they found living in a room in a part of the house that hadn’t been used for decades. He claims he’s the Principat?’s grandfather. I don’t know much about him. He’s not around much. When he is, he’s mostly pulling practical jokes. The Principat? doesn’t like him. Talks like he wishes the old man would just go away. I think he’s scared of him.”
Hecht recalled Delari cautioning him not to volunteer anything. Was there something in the air? Something designed to loosen his tongue? “Oh, God!”
“What?”
“My stomach. Oh, Sweet Aaron!” He grasped his gut. This time the fart energy exceeded everything that had gone before. The odor pursuant was the worst ever to grace Piper Hecht’s nostrils. It took only a moment to reach Serenity. It distracted the Patriarch from his rising anger. When Hecht repeated himself, almost immediately, Serenity demanded, “Has this been going on long?”
“Not this bad. Your Holiness.” A cramp shook him. If there was something in the air this gas should overwhelm it.
The Patriarch began barking at his hangers-on: Get a draft moving through the chamber. Bring in candles and torches. Do something!
Nothing helped. It got worse. Serenity wanted to bully and badger his former Captain-General but the disruption was too great. Too much for Hecht, too, who finally begged, “Excuse me, Your Holiness. Please. There’s something bad wrong. I need to find a healing brother.” He failed to stifle the most ferocious rumbler yet. He managed to create an expression of deep suspicion. “What did you do to me?”
The grand toot was the precursor of a parade of lesser expressions. Candles and torches did not help. The Patriarch angrily ordered Piper Hecht expelled from Krois, grumbling something about interviewing him later. He denied any connection with Hecht’s affliction, in the face of Hecht’s growing pain and passion.
The Patriarchal Guards did not seem inclined to believe their master.
Hecht’s digestion was almost normal by the time he reached the south bank of the Teragi. Shaking, he settled on one of the stone benches at the edge of the Memorium, considered the thousand monuments to victories and personalities of antiquity. He tried to stay alert, but the tail end of his suffering sucked his attention inward.
He was unaware of Heris till she sat down beside him. “That was way more harsh than Grandfather intended, Piper.”
“Humh?”
“I watched. I got as close as I could without getting caught in the tangle spells. You were just supposed to have a giant case of the silent farts.”
“You were in there?”
“Sure.”
“They’ll know. Doneto is the most powerful sorcerer in the Collegium.”
“He’s supposed to know that something was there. That it came in when you did and it left when you left. You have a guardian Instrumentality. They won’t look for some other outside agency. We’re just reinforcing what they’re already thinking.”
Gas escaped Hecht. It whipped away on the breeze. “So what have I done?”
“You took a pack of shadow spies into Krois. Inside you. So no one knew that you were smuggling. Very clever of Grandfather.”
“Yeah. Right. Should we be talking here?”
“With the sun so high and bright? Well… Maybe not. Somebody might wonder about us being together.”
“Really?” Heris was not well known. Still, she might arouse some curiosity, juxtaposed with Piper Hecht. “Serenity really wanted to interrogate me about the Principat? our relationship, and about Cloven Februaren. The gas saved me having to deal with that.”
“For now.” She laughed. That startled Hecht. She had no discernible sense of humor. “He may have you watched so he can catch you in a gas-free mood.” Another snicker. “I was behind a tapestry fifty feet from that room when you all came out. You had me gagging. I’ll let Grandfather know he’s developed a potent new weapon.”
“He wants to use it that way, he’d better feed those mushrooms to people he doesn’t mind losing.” He released a small rumble. “The pain wasn’t worth it. And it feels like it’s coming back.”
“Oh! Let’s travel on. You need to get to the town house, anyway. You need to get your amulet back on. You don’t want to be exposed any longer than you have to be.”
Hecht farted again, gently. He surveyed the Memorium and river’s edge and spied several observers. There was nowhere someone could hide and still be close enough to keep watch. “If us getting together will set off alarms, then the bell is already clanging.” One more look at the Memorium. “I’d rather go around. Bad things can happen in there.” As they walked he told her about having been ambushed by a hidden archer there, and about fighting Calziran pirates among the monuments.
“If the Ninth Unknown is halfway honest, which is questionable, you ought to feel the same way almost anywhere. He had a full-time job keeping you alive, back when.”
“Things should be different now that I’m unemployed.”
After questioning Hecht about his Patriarchal audience for twice the time that visit had lasted, Principat? Delari observed, “You might consider leaving town before Serenity pulls you in again.” The old man was very self- congratulatory about having inserted shadow agents into Krois. “If he can’t question you he can’t get answers.”
