'Couldn't you let me talk to him?' I said, disappointed.
'He was supposed to be in his room by ten. I kept him on the phone for almost an hour. The coaches were starting to circle.' She walked into the bathroom and closed the door. 'Make me a drink. Scotch. I'll meet you out back,' she called.
I knew she was in there doing a repair job on her face. She didn't like to have anybody see her crying.
I poured her a scotch and water and made one for myself and walked out to the backyard. Franco was sitting at the foot of the garden, dividing his attention between me and a family of ducks who had piqued his predatory interest by swimming perilously close to his position. Finally, Alexa came out, gave me a perfunctory kiss, and sat in her chair beside me facing the canal. She was barefoot, wearing jeans and a heavy peacoat.
'For June, this is really nippy,' she observed.
'Yep. But a high pressure front is moving in. It'll be back to normal soon.'
It seemed we were down to discussing the weather on our short list of safe subjects. Alexa sipped her drink.
'How's Chooch?' I asked.
'He's good. Practice is going great. He thinks he's third on the depth chart.'
'Hey, that's pretty good for a sophomore.'
'Red shirt freshman,' she reminded me. Then she sighed. 'I'm afraid I spilled over a little on him.' She sipped her scotch again. The ice cubes rattled pleasantly in her glass as she returned it to her lap.
'Maybe it's not such a good idea, putting our problems on him,' I said. 'Besides, holding your hand is supposed to be my job.'
'I know… I know,' she said wistfully. 'I started talking and before I knew it, I was just letting it rip. Telling him how I can't remember a damn thing, and how I don't feel right inside my body-like everything got connected back up wrong.'
I reached over and took her hand. She smiled at me wanly. 'Thank God I have you.'
'And always will,' I told her. My response sounded forced.
We sat in silence for a while, watching Franco watch the ducks.
Then Alexa mused, 'Must be nice to have a life where people put your basic needs in a bowl for you each morning, and all you have to do is chase after things you don't need.'
I was only half-listening, trying to figure out a way to bring up the subject of the meds I'd found and had analyzed at the police lab. Any way I tried to get into it would sound like I was spying on her, going through her things. The thought that she was having seizures and that one of them might have caused the car crash, which she still hadn't told me about, frightened me. I'd worked out a way to approach the subject, but sitting here I lost my nerve because I knew it would get ugly, so I settled for chitchat.
We talked about Chooch and about Delfina starting summer school classes at USC. I'm not very good at hiding things from my wife and because I didn't want to deal with her seizures yet, I found myself telling her about the Hickman case. About Secada Llevar bringing the I. A. file to me after Captain Sasso had shut the investigation down. I ran through the problems with Brian Devine's original investigation. I recounted my day, telling her about my trip to Corcoran State Prison and how I thought Tru Hickman had somehow been misclassified and how he was being raped and beaten on a daily basis in prison.
One of Alexa's many talents is that she is a great listener. She sat quietly, asking me a few pertinent questions, until I finished by telling her about the strange arrival of Wade and Aubrey Wyatt to the case after finding the McLaren in the Valley and pulling Wade over in his father's million-dollar Enzo Ferrari. When I was done she sat there thinking. Even though she was the victim of a traumatic brain injury or an acquired one, depending on who you talked to, she still knew how to see into the heart of a situation, and this was no exception.
'Jane Sasso is your main problem,' she observed. 'She's gonna go after you.'
'Yeah, I agree. That's why we're sorta working it off the books.'
'There's no such thing as off the books,' she said. 'There's authorized and unauthorized.'
'Well, you know…'
'No, I don't. Jane wants the case closed, but you and Secada Llevar are working it behind her and Deputy Chief Townsend's backs. That's a career wrecker, Shane. You both need to drop it.'
'You didn't see this guy,' I said. 'Tru Hickman's walking wounded, scared out of his skull with stitches in his asshole. Devine blew the investigation. Morales pled it out for the state and this Vanowen Street Loco, Mike Church, was never even looked at. Everything tells me he's the doer and now Wade and Aubrey Wyatt pop up out of nowhere. There's something going on here. This case is a lot bigger than it looks.'
She silently considered this for a minute, then got up and said, 'Be right back.'
She went inside the house. I turned and saw her through the plate glass, fixing a second drink. She looked beautiful, illuminated in the window. Like a photograph in Sunset magazine. The striking young wife makes a drink in her classic canal house. If I didn't know what she was going through, I would have never guessed the stress raging inside her. She finally turned away from the window, came back outside, and walked across the lawn, then settled into her chair.
'Okay, so drop the other shoe,' she said.
'What other shoe?'
'Shane. Please. You've already got a course of action planned. What is it?'
'I want to go talk to the D. A., Tito Morales. But the minute I do, this thing is going to become a shit sandwich. I need your help.'
'To protect you from Jane Sasso.'
'Yeah.'
'She's a captain. I'm a lieutenant.'
'You're acting head of the Detective Bureau. You picked her for that job and organizationally, you're on the same level.'
'I'm still just a lieutenant. I report to Deputy Chief Townsend in Operations. Sasso's a captain. She reports directly to the Chief of Police, who I might remind you, is the very same guy who is evaluating my whole damn career right now.'
'I know. The timing on this sucks.'
'I can't duke it out with Jane Sasso. When you're involved, my motive is always suspect.' She was looking tight around the eyes again. Her movements became jerky and abrupt.
'I'm just saying, throw a block for us. Buy us a week. In a week I think we can unravel this.'
'Shane, you're in Homicide Special. This is an I. A. case. Detective Llevar only came to you because of me. You can't be this gullible.'
'She admits that. It's just, we both feel this isn't right.'
'I can't take much more of this. I'm shaking apart.'
'I'm sorry.'
'For once, stop being Robin Hood, or Zorro, or Don Quixote-whatever mythic figure you are this week. You can't right all the wrongs in the world, babe. Some bad stuff is just gonna get past you.'
'I'm only trying to right this one bad case. Just this one.'
She sat watching Franco for a long moment. He had gone into killer mode, hunkering low on his paws, creeping on his belly toward the edge of the canal, lying in wait. A hunter stalking prey.
'You know how much trouble I'm in with Chief Townsend already,' Alexa said. 'If he was in the meeting where Detective Llevar was told to drop this, then my boss has already spoken. Don't do this to me. I'm trying to save what's left of this mess I still call my career.'
'But-'
I can't protect you, Shane. I wish I could, but I can't. I can't even protect myself anymore.'
She stood and walked into the house. I was watching her through the windows as she crossed the living room. Suddenly, she slipped and fell. I was on my feet and running in one motion. I thought she had tripped on the rug, but when I reached her side I saw that she was rigid-convulsing. I dropped to my knees and grabbed hold of her.
'No, no, no!' I pried her mouth open, then pulled her tongue forward and wedged my wallet between her teeth so she wouldn't bite her tongue. I'd dealt with epileptic seizures when I was in Patrol and knew they generally didn't last long, but seeing Alexa spasm on our living room rug was more than I could bear.
