“You’d better go and see to your wild animals and your own wife,” he said. “Send Tigellinus to me to wash my hair.”
So he sent me away. But I could understand him, if he really were so blindly in love with Poppaea and was now disappointed at her refusal. I hurried happily back to tell Poppaea the good news, but to my surprise she was not at all pleased. In fact she smashed a little jar to pieces, so that the expensive ointment splashed on the floor and the scent of it made my head whirl.
Her face was twisted and ugly as she cried, “We’ll see who will win in the end, he or I.”
I well remember the day the following summer when I was stubbornly demanding that the overseer of the aqueduct should have newer and bigger lead pipes taken to the menagerie. For several days we had been having the hot wind which brought red dust and gave me headaches.
There were always disputes over the water supply, for the rich noblemen had their own pipes from the aqueducts to their private baths, gardens and ponds, and because of the increase in population in Rome, there was a great shortage of water. I understood the overseer’s difficult situation. His office was not an enviable one, even if an unprejudiced holder did become rich during his term of office. On the other hand, I considered the menagerie had a special case and that I had no reason to pay him for what in fact were my rights.
We had reached a deadlock. He refused and I demantled. We were finding it difficult even to maintain a formal politeness in the discussion. I should have liked to leave and let the matter drop, but my wife’s anger would have been even more difficult to endure.
“I know the magistrates’ and Senate’s decisions on water supplies by heart,” I said finally. ‘Til have to go to Nero myself, although he doesn’t like being bothered with such little matters as this. I’m afraid it will all end far worse for you than for me.”
The overseer, a dull man, smiled ironically.
“Do as you please,” he said. “In your place, I wouldn’t go annoying Nero by talking about Rome’s water supply just at this moment.”
I had heard no gossip for a long time, so I asked him what was going on.
“Don’t you know, or are you pretending not to know?” he asked incredulously. “Otho has been appointed as Proconsul in Lusitania and has been advised to go there as soon as possible. This morning Nero dissolved his marriage officially, at Otho’s request, of course. All other matters were put aside as Nero was in such a hurry to care for the defenseless Poppaea Sabina, who is moving to Palatine.”
It was like a blow from a club on my already aching head.
“I know Poppaea Sabina,” I cried. “She would never agree to such a thing. Nero has taken her to Palatine by force.”
The overseer shook his gray head.
“I’m afraid we’re going to have a new Agrippina instead of the old one,” he said. “The old one is said to be moving from Antonia’s house in the country to Antium.”
I could not bring myself to take his insinuations seriously. Agrippina’s name was the only thing I really took in. I forgot my thirsty animals and the hippos’ dried-up pool. Agrippina was the only person I thought might save Poppaea Sabina from Nero’s immoral intentions. A mother had to have sufficient influence over her son to prevent his publicly violating the most beautiful woman in Rome. I had to protect Poppaea now she could no longer protect herself.
Beside myself, I hurried to old Antonia’s house on Palatine, where I found them all in such a state of confusion because of the move that no one stopped me from entering. I found Agrippina in a state of icy rage. With her was Octavia, the quiet girl who had had nothing more than the rank of wife from her marriage to the Emperor. Agrippina’s half sister Antonia, beautiful still and Claudius’ daughter by his first marriage, was also there, as was Antonia’s second husband, Faustus Sulla. When I appeared so unexpectedly, they all immediately fell silent, but Agrippina greeted me sharply.
“What a pleasant surprise after so many years,” she said. “I thought you’d forgotten everything I’d done for you and were as ungrateful as my own son. I’m even more pleased that you are the only knight in Rome to come and bid farewell to a poor exiled woman.”
“Perhaps I have neglected our friendship,” I cried in despair, “but we’ve no time for unnecessary talk now. You must save Poppaea Sabina from Nero’s greedy clutches and take her into your protection. Your son is disgracing himself in the eyes of all Rome with this outrage, not just the innocent Poppaea.”
Agrippina stared at me and shook her head.
“I’ve done everything I can,” she said sharply, “even wept and cursed, to save my son from the hands of that lecherous and scheming woman. As a reward I’ve been ordered to leave Rome. Poppaea has had her own way and is holding on to Nero like a leech.”
I tried to assure her that Poppaea wished only that Nero should leave her in peace, but Agrippina laughed scornfully. She believed nothing good of any other woman.
“That woman has driven Nero out of his mind with her debaucheries,” she said. “Nero is inclined that way, although I’ve done everything I could to hide it from other people. But sometimes everything blackens before his eyes and he has to protect his sight. His mad taste for lowly and unsuitable pleasures is evidence of it. But I’ve begun to write my memoirs and I’ll complete them in Antium. I have sacrificed everything for my son, even committed crimes which only he can pardon. It must be told now, since everyone knows anyhow.”
Her eyes glowed strangely and she raised her hands as if warding off a blow. Then she looked at Octavia and stroked her cheek.
“I can see the shadow of death on your face,” she said. “Your cheeks are like ice. But it might all pass if only Nero recovers from this madness. Not even the Emperor can defy the wish of the Senate and the people. No one can trust Nero. He is a terrible hypocrite and a born actor.”
When I looked at Antonia, still beautiful despite her pallor, an unpleasant shadow from the past crossed my mind, and I thought of her half sister Claudia, who had brought shame on my love for her. I think I must have been confused by Agrippina’s mad accusations against Poppaea, for the question slipped unintentionally out of my mouth.
“You spoke of your memoirs,” I said. “Do you remember Claudia? How is she? Has she improved?”
I think Agrippina would have ignored my question had her fury not unbalanced her so.
“You can ask at the naval brothel in Misenum,” she said viciously. “I promised to send your Claudia to a closed house to complete her education. A brothel is the right place for bastards.”
She stared at me like a Medusa.
“You are the most gullible fool I’ve ever met, I think,” she said. “You just opened your mouth and swallowed all that false evidence on her whoring. But for her it was enough that she had become involved with a Roman knight. If I’d known how ungrateful you were going to be, I’d never have gone to so much trouble to prevent her from bringing you unhappiness.”
Antonia laughed loudly.
“Did you really send Claudia to a brothel, dear stepmother?” she said. “I wondered why she suddenly stopped plaguing me to recognize her as my sister and vanished from my sight.”
Antonia’s nostrils quivered. She stroked her soft throat as if to wipe away an invisible insect. There was a strange delicate beauty about her slim figure at that moment.
I was struck completely dumb. Horrified, I looked at these two monstrous women. Suddenly my head felt quite clear and frighteningly large as I understood, and at last believed, all the evil I had heard told of Agrippina over the years.
I also saw that Poppaea Sabina had ruthlessly used my friendship to fulfill her own intentions. All this happened in a second, as if in a vision. It was as if in that moment I had aged several years and had become hardened at the same time. Perhaps I had been unconsciously waiting for this change. It was as if the bars of the cage around me had burst and suddenly I was standing under the free open sky as a free man.
The greatest stupidity of my life had been in talking to Agrippina about Claudia. In some way, I had to make up for that. In some way, I had to begin my life anew from that moment so many years before when Agrippina had poisoned my mind against Claudia and destroyed my love for her. I would be stupid no longer.
Acting with caution, I went to Misenum to look into the possibility of transporting animals from Africa in naval vessels. The commantler of the fleet was Anicetus, a former barber who, during Nero’s boyhood years, had been his
