'A friend is delivering a message for me.'
'But where… where are the gentleman's slaves? The men who usually bring you here?'
She held him with a piercing look. 'I have come alone.' She dug into the purse knotted at her wrist and pulled out some aureus coins. They shone in the dim light of the oil lamp as she counted them — six in all. 'Is this enough?'
The sacristan had to lean upon the doorjamb for a moment. 'More than enough, Lady.'
'Good. Leave me with Concordia.' She held out her hand for the keys.
Sejanus took them.
Livilla cried out with the shock of seeing him appear behind her so suddenly. She hadn't heard him approach. Sejanus poked his finger into the pouch inside his cloak and pulled out some more aureus coins — another six.
'Take these,' he said to the sacristan.
The old man shot Livilla a look, fearful she'd reveal she'd just paid him. But Livilla held her tongue.
The sacristan hurried down the temple steps, hoping he'd make the tavern without harm. The streets were full of thieves, and he'd be lucky if there was anything better than sacks to sleep on when he got to the tavern. But it didn't matter. He had more gold in his possession than he'd ever known. He was only vaguely aware of the huge, lean Laconian dog that lurked in the shadows as he passed. The loyal dog Scylax placed his head upon his paws, having retrieved Sejanus for his mistress.
Inside the temple Sejanus and Livilla stared at each other for a long moment before either dared to speak. Each tried to read the other's thoughts, and each believed they had underestimated the other in ways that both excited them and made them wary. But each was burdened by a misconception.
It was Sejanus who spoke first. 'Our day is here, then?'
Livilla's heartbeat was deafening in her ear, but she smiled — a slow, feline curl that played upon her lips and had everything of her grandmother Livia's allure to it. 'It is here — thanks to my king.'
Sejanus was tripped up by her words. He believed it was Livilla who had found the means to bring them closer to their dream. Who else could have brought on Castor's death so suddenly? 'Thanks to my queen,' he replied.
Livilla felt a moment's confusion too, but she quashed the doubt from her mind. Of course it was Sejanus who had killed Castor. No one else could have done it. No one else could have been as skilful and bold. She dropped the coarse woollen palla to her feet and let Sejanus run his hands along the thin fabric at her belly and then to her breasts. The night air was chill but she didn't care. Her nipples were hard for him already — and Sejanus, she saw, was hard for her too.
He spread her eagerly, his fingers at her cleft, and the pungent, fetid juice of her was slick inside her sex. The stink of her arousal filled the stale temple air. She moaned for him.
'Castor is dead… Now I'm wholly, truly yours, my god.'
His hands cupped her mons, his fingers pinching at the shining jewel that was her bead. He tossed her into the air like a cloth doll, catching her in his long, sinewy arms before he tore the stola from her breasts with his teeth. The fabric fell about Livilla in shreds as he heaved her rump onto Concordia's altar, parting her legs once more and revealing her fully in the golden light of the oil lamp. His fingers, hands and mouth were at her sex and she arched her back, panting with pleasure, raising her lips to meet his flicking, darting tongue.
Sejanus lapped at Livilla, drinking from the fountain of her womanhood, while Livilla's thoughts were only of her son. The grieving boy Gemellus was being comforted by his wet nurse at Oxheads. He believed his father was dead, but soon Livilla would tell him the truth of the matter: his father was very much alive. His father was Sejanus. His father was the real heir to the throne of Rome.
Alone in the entrance hall to Castor's house, Lygdus let the tears spill down his cheeks where no one could see him. He covered his mouth with his hands as the sobs of anguish came, torn raw from his heart. 'I'm so sorry for it, domine,' he stammered into his fingers. 'I'm so sorry for it…'
He tried to make a fresh map in his mind to guide his future. But now he could see that only one road was his. For all these months he had forced himself to believe that his lowly slave's existence would be devoted to murder and crimes, and that by living in this way he would become elevated. He had forced himself to hold on to the faith that his humble life — and the life of Rome — would be made the better for what he would do. But now he knew this would not be so, and could never be. He had failed.
Lygdus knew in his heart he would fail from the moment I had told him of Cybele and the prophecies and my sacrifice. He had ignored his doubts but the truth was inescapable now. He was shattered by what he had done. He was overwhelmed by his actions and not transported to some higher plain at all. He was sickened with the foulest remorse.
Lygdus had murdered his dominus, taken another man's life. He had lied, betrayed and killed, and the road he had travelled to achieve these things would now be his forever.
He would kill and kill again, just as I, his mentor, killed as easily as I breathed. He would kill without pleasure or love or belief. He would kill to survive. He would kill or be killed. And with each new death his stench would grow. He was a murderer now — a vile assassin.
He would never be free and he would never be clean, even if he became a god for it.
When Apicata's maids let themselves out of the kitchens, they stood very still, straining to hear any sounds that might suggest that their master remained in the house. He had ordered them from the corridor where they slept when the strange dog had appeared, scratching at the front door. They knew it held a message under its collar, but none saw what it was because Sejanus ordered them from his sight.
Among themselves, the maids agreed they'd been sent away because Sejanus didn't want them seeing things they might report to their mistress. He kept secrets from her, they well knew. But she kept secrets from him too, which they felt evened the score.
When they at last returned to their pallets, they were shocked to find their mistress curled up on one, asleep. They consulted in whispers.
'Should we wake her?'
'It would be terrible.'
'But she's in a slave's bed when she's a mistress.'
'Let her sleep. Perhaps she'll wake up of her own accord.'
Apicata was left where she was and the other slaves spread themselves among the remaining pallets as best they could. One of the maids, a girl called Calliope, found herself with nothing to sleep on. Upset, she crept into her mistress's sleeping room, hoping there might be a rug she could arrange on the floor. She saw the strange little oblong box where it lay upon the bed. Without giving it any thought, she picked it up.
The box was smooth in her hand and it rattled. In the dim light of the moon Calliope saw there was a little spot on the box where she could pry the lid with her fingernail. She did so and the lid popped off. Three little objects fell out. She stared at them for a full second before she saw with horror what they were. The tiny torso of a wax doll was detached from its head. The head itself was befouled, as if pulled from a sewer, and the eyes were absent. The doll was Apicata. It was a work of witchcraft.
Calliope nearly shrieked, but she managed to stop herself, fearful of alerting the other maids. She knew that she would somehow be blamed for this, and maybe even accused of planting the witchcraft in the first place. The third item from the box was a scrap of rag on which something had been written. Unable to read, she stared blankly at the tiny letters. She shoved the three horrid things back in the box and reattached the lid. It was not a box at all, she now knew, but a tiny coffin.
Calliope kicked it under the bed and made a prayer to the household gods that she be nowhere nearby when the evil thing was found again.
The nail that held Livilla's curse to the base of the temple's god lost its hold in the stone and fell away, dropping the lead tablet to the floor.
The curse landed with its words facing downwards and only its blank side visible to the god who towered above. Not that it mattered. The deity of deception had already read the plea for his assistance that was scratched into the other side.
It had amused him, Livilla's request. And now Veiovis was enjoying himself greatly as he honoured the unique nature of her curse.
The Kalends of April
