But Agrippina embraced her sister-in-law, pulling her down from the stool and into Sosia and Claudia's arms. Livilla's fear was replaced by confusion.
'We are together — we are one in what we've suffered,' Agrippina declared. Her voice was high and raised — she intended the crowd to hear it. 'Both our husbands have been taken from us, taken from Rome — taken by the same man!'
Livilla nearly fainted in horror.
'Taken by the same man!' Sosia repeated, her voice holding surprising power.
The watching crowd fell spellbound. Agrippina's retinue of a hundred men and slaves forced themselves among the bewildered throng of Castor's bereaved clients and other onlookers.
'Stop it,' Livilla hissed in Agrippina's ear.
'You know who we accuse,' said Claudia.
'Stop it!' Livilla screamed. She scrambled to get back inside her litter again, taking the bearers by surprise. Half the men lifted, the others didn't, causing the canopied platform to shudder and sway.
'Mother, what are you doing?' Tiberia cried out from inside as Livilla clambered in.
'Take me home!' Livilla screamed at the bearers. Outside, the confused lictor gathered up the stool again. Agrippina and her women friends cast calculating looks at each other and then Agrippina threw herself into the litter, causing Livilla and Tiberia to yell with fright. The six bearers staggered to keep their balance.
Agrippina gripped Livilla by the wrist. 'He killed Germanicus.'
'Let go of me, for the gods' sake!' cried Livilla.
'He was jealous of him — he knew Germanicus would outshine him and he couldn't stand it. He would rather have seen him dead — so that's what he arranged.'
In her fragile emotional state, Tiberia would ordinarily have burst into fresh tears at such a distressing development, but now she was riveted by her aunt's intensity. 'Who? Who arranged it?'
Agrippina stared at the girl. 'You poor little child…'
'Whom do you accuse, aunt?' Tiberia insisted. 'Tell me.'
Livilla tore her wrist from her sister-in-law's grip. 'Don't you dare speak his name, Agrippina.'
'Now he has killed your husband too, jealous of Castor just like he was jealous of Germanicus — he's insane.'
'Castor died of a fever, a river mist…'
'No one believes that, Livilla — not one person in Rome.'
'I believe it — I know it. I saw him when he died.'
Tiberia snatched at Agrippina's clothes. 'Please, tell me who did these terrible things to us, Aunt.'
Livilla slapped Agrippina hard across the cheek. 'If you say Sejanus's name aloud he will kill you — do you understand? He will kill you for it.'
Tiberia blanched. 'The Praetorian Prefect?'
'You never heard me say it,' Livilla threatened her. 'You never heard me, girl.'
But it was Agrippina's turn for bewilderment. 'But I accuse Tiberius…'
Livilla threw a shocked hand to her lips as her face went very white.
'Prefect Sejanus is a soldier,' said Agrippina. 'He has no reason to kill my husband or yours — his role is to serve his betters. He is not even a patrician.'
It took Livilla a long moment to steady herself. She had guessed very wrongly where Agrippina's accusation would lie, and in doing so had made a fateful mistake. Outside, the litter was moving so slowly through the surging crowds that I was easily able to keep up and overhear this desperate conversation. But Agrippina's intensity was so great that she missed the significance of what Livilla had said, so certain was she that Tiberius was to blame. Agrippina produced a scrap of papyrus from the folds of her woollen palla.
'Someone sends me these. I don't know who, but he is a friend.'
Livilla allowed the papyrus to uncurl in her hand. It was a torn fragment from something much larger and she dimly recognised the lettering.
'It's by my mother, Julia,' said Agrippina. 'She wrote this while imprisoned, and not long before she died. She thought my grandfather, the Divine Augustus, was coming to forgive her, but she learned too late that he had fallen to the same hand that had taken all those before him.'
Livilla began to read it… your golden brothers murdered in their prime, never realising, never seeing death come…
She couldn't believe what she was seeing. 'But this is — '
'About your own grandmother. Livia killed my three brothers and many more; she killed my father, Agrippa, and she killed my mother's first husband, Marcellus. And do you know why? So no one would stand in the path of Tiberius taking the place of the Divine Augustus.'
Outside the litter my throat went very dry. This was the first I had learned of the mysterious letter fragments. My own role in all those murders was, of course, considerable. Had Julia guessed this and also written about me?
Inside the litter Livilla's mind frantically tried to work out who the mysterious 'friend' might be who had sent them. Then she realised that it could only be Sejanus, and she took a secret pleasure when she thought of the likely motive behind his plan. It was solely intended to incite reckless action from Agrippina. Outside, I drew the same conclusion, but my anxiety certainly wasn't lessened any.
'My grandmother Livia is near death,' Livilla said to Agrippina. 'How could she have murdered your husband and now my husband too?'
'She didn't. Tiberius kills in her place now — he wants to rule forever.'
Livilla stared at Agrippina. This was why Agrippina was the widow of widows — her grief was all-consuming. It addled her mind. She was losing her judgement, along with her tact and her reason. Soon, Livilla sensed, it would bring on Agrippina's destruction. She felt sorry for her for this, but not unduly so. Livilla and Agrippina were travelling two very different paths, and Livilla knew that only one of them would ever taste destiny. She softened her look to her. 'What will you do?' she whispered.
Agrippina's eyes filled with tears of relief. 'You believe what I've said, don't you?'
Livilla avoided answering directly. 'What will you do?'
I strained to listen from the other side of the litter curtain.
'You saw the crowd of men that follows me?'
'Yes.' Livilla didn't mention that she, too, was now attracting her own considerable retinue.
'They would fight for me if I asked them to. They would defend me against enemies who wish to harm me for making the accusations I make.'
'Accusations against Tiberius?' Livilla whispered, feeling a secret surge of excitement.
Agrippina confirmed. 'Will you join me if the time comes?'
Livilla's mind raced with how best to answer. Eventually, she just nodded. There seemed no other reply to give that wouldn't send the unstable Agrippina into a rage. But Agrippina was made so emotional by this show of apparent support that she hugged Livilla for many minutes.
When Agrippina finally left them alone again and the litter was once more making progress in its return to Oxheads, Livilla noticed her daughter. Tiberia had been deeply affected by all that her aunt had said and done.
'Her mind is unsound,' Livilla told her. 'Her grief has driven her mad. You mustn't believe what she tells you.'
Tiberia nodded. 'She loved Uncle Germanicus so much,' she said, 'more than you loved Father, I think.'
For the second time that morning Livilla feared she had become transparent. But Tiberia's observation, however accurate, had no accusation attached. 'I don't mean to offend you, Mother. You loved my Father — of course you did — but not like Aunt Agrippina loved my uncle. Her love for him was like the love between immortals, I think.'
'Your aunt loved too much,' Livilla said. 'It's very dangerous — a weakness in her.'
Tiberia nodded again, but it was obvious she now looked at things differently. 'When you told me I was betrothed to cousin Nero, I wasn't very excited at first.'
'You mustn't worry about that now,' Livilla began to say.
'But he is my aunt's son, so perhaps he loves as she does — and perhaps he will come to love me with such devotion too? I would be pleased if he did — I look forward to the day we are married now.'
