company business and took the chance of calling on you. If you wish to confirm that I am who I claim to be, I suggest you phone Mr Tabatchnick.'
'Oh, I don't think that will be necessary,' she said lazily.
'How is dear Leonard?'
'Leopold, ma'am. In good health. Busy as ever.'
'With that odd hobby of his? What is it — postage stamps or breeding Yorkies or something?'
'Tropical fish, ma'am,' I said, passing her tests.
'Of course,' she said. 'Tropical fish. What a strange hobby for an attorney. You'd think he would prefer more energetic pets.'
'Some of them are quite aggressive, Mrs Kipper.
Belligerent, in fact.'
I was conscious of the Reverend Knurr regarding me narrowly, as if he were wondering if my words implied more than they meant. I hadn't intended them to, of course. I am not that devious.
'Well,' Mrs Kipper said, 'I'm sure you didn't call to discuss Mr Tabatchnick's fish. Just why are you here, Mr Bigg?'
'It concerns your late husband's estate, ma'am,' I said, and glanced towards Godfrey Knurr.
'Tippi, would you prefer I not be present?' he asked. 'If it's something confidential — family matters — I can adjourn to the kitchen and gossip with Chester and Perdita for a while.'
'Nonsense,' she said. 'I'm sure it's nothing you shouldn't hear. Mr Bigg, Godfrey has been a close friend for many years, and has been a great help since my husband's death. You may speak freely in front of him.'
'Yes, ma'am,' I said submissively. 'There is nothing confidential about it. At present, your attorneys are engaged in striking a tentative total value for your late husband's estate. This includes stocks, bonds, miscellaneous investments, personal property, and so forth. The purpose of this is for filing with the proper Federal and State authorities for computation of the estate tax.'
'Godfrey?' she asked, looking to him.
'Yes,' he said, 'that's correct. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's. In this case, Tippi, I'm afraid you're going to be unpleasantly surprised by what Caesar demands.'
'Well, we'd like our computation of assets to be as accurate as possible,' I continued. 'It sometimes happens that the IRS and State Tax Bureau make estimates of the value of an estate that are, uh, in variance with those of the attorneys submitting the will to probate.'
'You mean they're higher,' Pastor Knurr said with his rueful laugh.
'Frequently,' I agreed. 'Naturally, as the attorneys of record, we hope to keep estate taxes to their legal minimum. I have been assigned the task of determining the value of this home, its furnishings, and your late husband's personal possessions.'
Knurr settled back in his armchair. He took a pipe and tobacco pouch from the side pocket of his jacket. He began to pack the pipe bowl, poking the tobacco down with a blunt forefinger.
'This is interesting,' he said. 'How do you determine the value of a house like this, Mr Bigg?'
That one was easy.
'Current market value,' I said promptly. 'How much you could expect to receive if it was put up for sale. Other factors would be the current property tax assessment and comparison with the value of other houses in the neighbourhood. When it comes to furnishings, things get a little more complicated. We would like to base our evaluation on the original purchase cost, minus depreciation — to keep the total value as low as possible, you understand — but the IRS usually insists on replacement value. And that, in these inflationary times, can sometimes be much more than the original cost.'
'I should think so,' Mrs Kipper said sharply. 'Why, some of my beautiful things couldn't be bought for double what I paid for them. And some simply can't be replaced at any price.'
'Tippi,' Knurr said, lighting his pipe with deep drags,
'don't tell the tax people that! '
I paused, looking at him, while he got his pipe evenly lighted to his satisfaction. He used three matches in the process. His tobacco smoke smelled of fruit and wine.
The Reverend Godfrey Knurr was a few inches short of six feet. He was a stalwart man, bulging the shoulders and sleeves of his hairy tweed jacket. He wore grey flannel slacks and oxblood moccasins. A checked gingham shirt was worn without a tie, but buttoned all the way up. Still, it revealed a strong, corded neck. He had square hands with short fingers.
His hair and beard were slate-coloured. The beard was not full; it was moustache and chin covering, cut straight across at the bottom. It was trimmed carefully around full, almost rosy lips. He had steady, brown, no- nonsense eyes, and a nose that was slightly bent. It was not a conventionally handsome face, but attractive in a craggy, masculine way. A lived-in-face. His age, I estimated, was in the early forties, which would make him about ten years younger than Mrs Kipper. He moved well, almost athletically, and had an erect carriage and forceful gestures.
I turned my attention back to the widow.
'My assignment,' I said, 'will necessitate my taking a complete inventory of the furnishings, I'm afraid. I don't expect to do that today, of course. It may take several days, I'll do my best not to inconvenience you, ma'am, and I'll try to be as unobtrusive as possible while I'm here.
Today, I hope merely to make a preliminary survey, count the number of rooms, and plan how best to proceed with the inventory. Is that acceptable to you, Mrs Kipper?'
'Damn!' she said fretfully. 'I wish this was all over with.'
She took another cigarette from a porcelain box on the table beside her. I sprang to my feet and rushed to light it.
'Thank you,' she said, looking at me amusedly. 'You're very polite. You don't smoke?'
'No, ma'am.'
'Drink?'
'Occasionally,' I said. 'Wine mostly.'
'For thy stomach's sake,' Knurr rumbled.
'Would you care for a glass of wine now, Mr Bigg?'
'Oh no, thank you, Mrs Kipper. I'd really like to get started on my preliminary inspection.'
'In a minute or two,' she said. 'How long have you been with Mr Tabatchnick?'
'About six years.'
'Married?'
'No, ma'am.'
'No?' she said, widening her eyes theatrically. 'Well, we'll have to do something about that!'
'Now, Tippi,' Godfrey Knurr said, groaning, 'don't start playing matchmaker again.'
'What's so wrong with that?' she flashed out at him.
'Sol and I were so happy together, I want everyone to be that happy.'
Godfrey Knurr winked at me.
'Watch out for us, Mr Bigg,' he said with his brisk laugh 114
'Tippi brings them together and I marry them, it's a partnership.'
'Oh, Godfrey,' she murmured, 'you make it all sound so — so coldblooded.'
'Cold blood — hot marriage,' he said. 'An ancient Greek proverb.'
'Which you just made up,' she said.
'That's right,' he allowed equably, and now they both laughed.
'I wonder if I might — ' I started.
'Well, if you won't have a drink, Mr Bigg,' the widow said, 'I think the Reverend and I shall. The usual, Godfrey?'
'Please,' he said.
I looked at him and I thought he shrugged a bit in resignation.
I did not believe Mrs Kipper was being deliberately obstructive. She would let me inspect her home — in her own good time. She wanted to make it perfectly clear to me that she was mistress of this house, and her wish was law, no matter how foolish or whimsical others might think her. So I waited patiently while drinks were served.
