Maybe under other circumstances, Goose would have thought so too. Instead, as he thought about the situation, Icarus’s warnings about Carpathia kept coming to mind.
“Even more interesting, Carpathia offered me a new position: he wants to make me a full colonel.”
“You’re thinking of leaving the army?” Goose was so surprised he forgot to address Remington as sir. He hastily amended that.
“I don’t think of it as leaving the army. I took this position to serve my country. At the moment, I believe the best way to serve my country is by joining Carpathia’s efforts. The man has done a lot of good in the world in just a short time. He’s made a believer out of me.”
At those words, a chill ghosted through Goose, leaving him unsettled. “I guess congratulations are in order, sir,” Goose said.
“Thanks.” Remington paused. “But something else brought me here. In this new position, I’m going to need good people. Men I can count on. You and I haven’t been totally in sync for a while, but I think that’s because of the situation, not because of any fundamental differences. We still soldier the same.”
Goose chose not to say anything, thinking that was the wisest course.
“I’d like you to think about coming along with me,” Remington said.
“Thank you, sir, but I don’t see how I can do something like that. In case you hadn’t heard, my knee-”
“Is totally blown,” Remington interrupted. “I talked to the doctor. The plain fact of the matter is, if you stay with the army, Goose, your career is over.”
The words hit Goose like physical blows. It was one thing to deal with the facts by himself in the quiet of the room. But it was another for Remington to give voice to them.
“Yes, sir. I know that’s what the doc says, but that’s not necessarily-”
“Sergeant, unless you can pull a miracle out of your butt, that’s how it’s going to be.”
Goose struggled to find his voice. “Yes, sir.”
“I’ve got you scheduled to depart on the first medevac we can put together. I don’t know when that’s going to be. We’re still in the planning stages.”
Goose accepted that without comment, but everything in him wanted to fight, to resist.
“That’s how the army wants to do it,” Remington said. “But I’ve got something else I can offer. In my new capacity as colonel.”
Even though he tried, Goose couldn’t speak.
“You’re a soldier, Goose,” Remington declared. “That’s all you’re ever going to be.”
“That’s all I ever wanted to be, sir.”
“I know. That’s why you passed on Officer Candidates School.
But I can use soldiers in this new army. Maybe you’ll never be fieldready again, but you’ve got a lot of knowledge locked away in that thick skull of yours. A lot of spit and polish. I need that. If you want, I can offer you a position with me. As my aide. Once you get back on your feet.”
“That’s considerate of you, sir.”
Remington frowned. “It’s not just considerate, Sergeant. It’s downright generous.”
“Yes, sir. I’m still just a little fogged from the pain meds. Thank you, sir.”
“When you get out of that bed, report to me, and we’ll get squared away on the paperwork.”
“Yes, sir.” Goose answered automatically, but he knew he wanted time to think about the offer. Everything was coming down on him too fast.
“I also heard that Megan and some of the civvies from Fort Benning are going to be joining us here,” Remington said.
“Yes, sir. She said that was in the works.”
“I convinced SecretaryGeneral Carpathia to assist in making that happen.”
Goose couldn’t believe it. “But, sir, those are civilians. This is a war zone.”
“We also need support staff, Sergeant, as I’m sure you’re well aware.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I was just thinking that it would be a pity if you shipped out from here on a medical discharge at the same time Megan arrived.”
That thought filled Goose with a deep, visceral fear. “I wouldn’t want to do that, sir.” Megan’s not experienced enough to handle something like this. And we’re barely holding our own here. In the end, Goose knew he didn’t have a choice.
Remington knew it too. He nodded. “When you’re able, come by my office. Let’s make that paperwork official.”
“Yes, sir.”
“As you were, First Sergeant.”
“Yes, sir.” Goose saluted from the bed. Silently he watched
Remington leave the room. Then he tried to relax and let the meds claim him again. His mind whirled, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do.
Local Time 0441 Hours
Goose swayed awkwardly on the crutches as he stood in front of the hospital. He hadn’t been able to sleep. The meds were no longer having an effect, and he felt restless for no reason that he could name.
He just knew he couldn’t stay in the hospital any longer. So he’d hobbled from his room and out of the hospital without the duty nurse catching him.
Now that he was out, he didn’t know where to go.
The throbbing pain in his knee increased, and he wondered if he could make it back to his room without falling on his face. Needing help to get back to his bed would be embarrassing.
The early morning light was just beginning to lift the shadows night had draped over the beleaguered city. Several of the sandbags stacked against the building to reinforce the walls had been blown open by explosions. Deep craters scarred the street. Hummers and other military vehicles whizzed past, resupplying men and ammo.
Watching them, Goose felt guilty and useless. Lord, he thought, I never thought I’d finish my career up like this. I signed on to be a soldier, to be a man who made changes in the world.
As he thought that, he wondered if that very desire had been the thing keeping him from having a closer relationship with God.
He’d never considered that before. But he remembered the talks with Bill Townsend when they’d discussed church and faith. Bill had been a consummate soldier, but that wasn’t all he’d wanted to be, wasn’t all he’d worked at. There wasn’t a day that went by that Bill hadn’t ministered to someone, even if it was for five minutes over a cup of coffee at a diner. He’d carried his message to every country they’d ever served in together.
Goose had listened to it all, but he’d never really taken it in. Bill had seemed able to serve God and the military at the same time. But Goose knew that he’d given God short shrift over the years.
Was his commitment to the army the reason he was still here in this world when Chris was in the next? Thoughts of his son nearly overwhelmed him.
Is my boy alone, God? Is he scared? Please, I don’t care what You do to me, but please take care of that boy.
Goose’s eyes burned with unshed tears. When Megan had started talking so hopefully about what was taking place and that they would soon be reunited with Chris, Goose had felt angry toward her. That surprised him. In all the years he’d been married to her, he seldom felt that way.
Somehow, though, for the first time in their marriage, Goose knew Megan had moved on without him. He resented her for that. And he resented the fact that she could so quickly adjust to Chris being gone.
Even more, he resented the fact that she would soon be in Sanliurfa while he was going to be shipped out.
You’re being unfair, Goose told himself. But he couldn’t help it. The feelings were strong within him.
He kept thinking about the offer Remington had made to bring him along into the new army Nicolae Carpathia was putting together. Even with his physical disability, Remington would keep him close to hand. He could be there with Megan.
Except it would-to Goose’s way of thinking, at least-compromise the oath and promise he’d made to his country and to the Rangers. Stepping away from that wasn’t as easy for him as it had obviously been for
