He turned his face to catch her lips with his own and for a moment they only held each other. When they parted, he leaned his head against the back of the chair and stared at her evenly.
“Are you going to ask me the obvious question?”
“What is the obvious question?” She smiled sadly.
It was a smile he didn’t return. “Don’t you want to know if I killed her?”
Audrey parted her lips in surprise then instantly shook her head. “No! I already know the answer. You wouldn’t, couldn’t do that. Whatever Luci’s faults, she was your wife. You took your vows seriously, even if she didn’t.”
Griffin gave a sigh of relief and a weak smile returned to his face. “I’m glad you know that without asking. Some of my family members and close friends who knew of Luci’s indiscretions did ask me.”
She drew back. “Not Noah?”
“No. Not Noah. Never Noah,” he admitted. “Luci died of complications from an early birth of her child. Much too early, I’m afraid. I did all I could to save her and the baby, but the doctor said there was no chance for either of them.”
“Griffin,” she said softly. “What can I do?”
Now he turned his eyes on her with intensity. “Do as I ask and marry me. You’ve been in my head for years. And you would be faithful to me. I know that.”
Audrey looked into his eyes, but instead of seeing love there, she saw desperation. He so needed her to say yes, but not because he loved her. He wanted her to save him in a way. To give back to him some of what Luci had stolen all those years ago.
Slowly, she pulled away to stand up. Pacing over to the window, she caught her breath as she looked down into the busy street below.
“You can’t marry someone for safety, Griffin,” she said softly. She heard him rise, but continued without allowing him to respond. “You’ve been burned by Luci’s deceptions, but controlling me, taking me from my work… marrying me isn’t the way to regain your equilibrium.”
“That isn’t what I’m trying to do!” His tone was suddenly angry.
When she turned it was to see him staring at her with a red face, his nostrils flared and his hands trembling at his sides. His pain and anger moved her, but she had no choice but to stand her ground.
“Yes, Griffin, it is what you want to do, whether you realize it or not. You want to use me as sanctuary…”
This time he did interrupt her, motioning toward the bedroom. “You think what just happened between us in my bed was a plea for sanctuary? That was passion, darling, pure and simple. We have all the ingredients for a good marriage. Why won’t you let go of your ridiculous denials?”
“We have all the ingredients but one, Griffin. Love.” She fought back the tears that closed her throat and stung her eyes. “And for me, that’s the most important ingredient. You’re afraid for my life. You want to draw me away from dangerous things. Those are sweet and noble reasons, but they’ll never erase your past, or mine. They won’t change the duty I’ve sworn to perform.”
He crossed over to her in a long step. “Damn it, Audrey!”
Instead of letting him touch her, she skirted away, fearing if he did she’d give in to his demands. She was right on the edge of doing just that already.
Here he was, offering her everything she’d once dreamed of, but now it wasn’t enough. Perhaps five years ago it would have been, but not now. She had changed too much to accept anything less from him than everything in his heart.
“This is hard enough for me,” she pleaded, moving toward the door. “But I can’t marry you. Good night.”
With that, she fled into the hallway, closing the door behind her then hurrying to her own room where she shut and locked her door. There was no need to risk Griffin bursting in to continue their argument. Her mind was made up. No matter how much it hurt her to do, she couldn’t marry him. Now if only she could convince her heart.
***
“Lord Berenger?”
Griffin looked up to see Cotter standing in the morning room door with a smile on his usually stoic face.
“Yes, Cotter, what is it?”
It took all his control to maintain his temper. The last thing he wanted were interruptions when his head was pounding from a hangover and his eyes were blurred from lack of sleep.
“You have two visitors, my lord.”
“Lord and Lady Ashton?” he asked weakly.
He’d almost forgotten his parents were even in London after the shock of Audrey turning down his proposal of marriage.
“Yes, my Lord. Shall I send them in?”
He ran a hand through his hair and nodded. “Of course. Have tea sent in and freshen up the buffet, as well.”
Cotter bowed low. “As you wish, my lord.”
Moments later, the door opened again and Cotter motioned for Griffin’s parents to enter. His mother’s hand was laced through his father’s elbow and the two were laughing at something they’d been talking about outside. They looked as happy as they’d ever been and Griffin’s heart clenched with pain. He had only ever wanted to find what his parents had shared. He’d hoped to have it with Lucinda, but he
But Audrey wouldn’t have him, no matter what he said.
“Good morning, Griffin…” his mother began, then stopped dead in her tracks as she finally looked directly at her son.
He winced as her sharp eyes moved up and down him in one swift motion before settling on his face. He could see her concern and her questions without her saying a word to him of either one.
“Mother.”
“I hope you don’t mind this unannounced arrival,” his father said. “But we’re leaving town today. We only came at the Queen’s invitation. With your sister so late in her confinement, Penelope wants to be close to her.”
“Of course I welcome you here, Father, but I understand,” Griffin insisted, finally forced himself to move toward them. He shook his father’s hand and embraced his mother before motioning them to join him at the table.
“Where are Audrey and Noah this morning?” his mother asked as she settled into her seat.
Griffin stared into his tea absently. Noah hadn’t come back until very late the night before and was still abed for all Griffin knew. Audrey had not come down yet.
“I’ve no idea…” he began, but was interrupted when the door to the morning room opened and the brother and sister appeared.
“Here we are.” Audrey laughed though there was a strain in her voice. “How lovely it is to break our fast with you and Lord Ashton.”
Griffin stared at the pair in amazement. Noah looked as if he’d gone to sleep at ten, not three in morning. Not even a shadow darkened his blue eyes. As for Audrey, her smile was as warm and friendly as if nothing had happened between them the night before. As if she hadn’t made love with him, then turned down his offer to be his wife. He did note she avoided even a glance in his direction, though.
“Ah, the Jordans!” Lord Ashton said with a smile. “Our time together last night was far too brief. I’m pleased we’ll get to spend a bit of time with you before we quit London this afternoon.”
“You’re leaving?” Noah’s tone was surprised but his eyes were glad.
Griffin couldn’t blame his friend for his relief. Noah had heard more than an earful at the ball about endangering Griffin’s parents.
Noah continued to speak as he snapped a napkin onto his lap. “We’ll have to make the best of the hours we have then. What about a walk in Hyde Park, straightaway?”
“Sounds fine. The weather is tolerable,” Griffin’s father replied.
“I’m feeling a bit off-color,” Griffin said with a glare toward his friend. The last thing he wanted to do was
