The Legend of Earth

galaxy had not. Earth was still located much too far away to make an effective capital for the Expansion, and so it was decided that it served everyone’s best interest to keep the official capital of the galaxy at the same location it had been for the past four thousand years.

At least it would remain so for a few more months, until Adam Cain concluded his assignment.

Inside the main administration building it was warm and cozy, with dark wood paneling lining the walls and with impressive statues of crystal and marble set about tastefully. The wide corridor that led to the Administrator’s office was floored with a thick, red-wine colored carpet with intricate designs subtly embossed in its weave. Adam followed the young Human aide down the hallway and up to the ornate double doors of carved wood. The doors looked familiar, and Adam knew why.

The aide opened the doors and Adam walked in. Behind the massive wood desk, the Administrator for the Expansion Union rose up with a wide grin across his face, his huge figure looking slightly less huge than the last time Adam had seen him.

“My friend, Adam Cain, it is so wonderful to see you again. It has been ages.”

“Yes it has, Kroekus, and I’m glad to see this meeting is on much friendlier terms than last time.” Last time was when Kroekus had attempted to have him, Sherri and Riyad all killed in the crime boss’s headquarters back on the Fringe world of Silea. “And I see you have imported the same doors from your old office.”

“Please have a seat, Mister Ambassador! And yes, I try to make myself as comfortable as I can wherever I go. Charm is a lavish life, so they say.”

Adam didn’t quite catch the Silean reference, but the meaning registered. Adam grinned as he took a seat in a richly-padded chair in front of the desk. “You look good, Kroekus. Have you lost weight?”

Adam noticed a frown appear on the alien’s forehead, but then the smile quickly returned. “Ah, your foreign ways,” Kroekus said jovially. “Your ignorance can be forgiven, but let me explain why that question is not a compliment. For Silean males our, ah, sex organ, grows with our accumulation of weight and mass. Therefore, the larger the male, the larger is his, shall I say — tool? It is a sign of sexual prowess and attribute to be of considerable bulk, and quite appealing to our females. But looking at you Humans, I see that does not apply to your race — or does it?”

Adam couldn’t help himself; he burst out laughing, exposing teeth and all. Kroekus did the same, however his laugh was like that of car engine trying to turn over in cold weather. The two of them laughing made for a quite a scene.

Once the pleasantries were out of the way, along with a little more reminiscing, the two diplomats got down to business.

“Your news will not be welcome, Adam.”

“I realize that, but it is a decision we’re going with. I hope you understand.”

“Oh I do, completely. It is just that it will throw the galaxy back into turmoil just as we were beginning to recover. It will not make my job any easier.”

Adam had often wondered why the former crime lord of Silea had taken the job of Administrator in the first place — he didn’t need the headache. Kroekus had capitalized on the retreat of the Juireans during the war by issuing gold-certificates to the hundreds — and then thousands — of worlds who had previously relied on Juirean credits as their currency of record. And then with the complete downfall of the Juireans and their money, Kroekus soon reorganized the entire financial structure of the galaxy, through a combination of gold-backed credits and an elaborate conversion program that allowed for individual worlds to use their own currency in intergalactic transactions.

Adam was in awe knowing that sitting across the desk from him, was the wealthiest creature in the entire galaxy.

“Kroekus, I’ve often wondered why you even bother with this job? You don’t need to put up with all the bullshit — I mean — trouble that goes along with it.”

The Silean had had drinks and snacks brought in and now he devoured a pastry-looking thing and then downed a long swallow of a brown liquid. “Adam, my friend, my family has controlled Silea for a thousand years; I was born into wealth, so credits mean very little to me. I enjoy the running of things, of seeing vast organizations operating under my direction, and I gain pleasure in seeing these operations work efficiently. When I saw the financial system of the Expansion collapsing, I simply offered a solution. That solution worked, and now I have more wealth than I could possibly use. But I had that already. Now it is the challenge I live for.”

“Then my announcement shall give you a challenge like never before.”

“Indeed. And speaking of the announcement, the representatives should all be assembled by now. Are you ready to turn the galaxy upside down, my friend?”

Adam suddenly felt knots twist in his stomach. He had never been comfortable with public speaking; his only consolation came from knowing that only about thirty beings would be present — and nearly all of them would be aliens.

Adam’s ‘announcement’ would take place in a room resembling a small college lecture hall. There were several rows of seats rising up to the back of the room and all facing a small stage. A lectern had been set up on the stage.

Adam had had a year to prepare for this announcement, even though he had long ago decided not to follow any formal structure. He wasn’t a public speaker, so instead he would simply state the facts as best he knew them and then play it by ear. For far too long he had made himself sick wondering how his presentation would turn out, but then one day, months ago, he came to a liberating realization: He didn’t give a damn what they thought! This was something the Human race was doing for their own benefit, and not for the Expansion’s.

If the aliens didn’t like it — then tough.

Adam and Kroekus entered the hall from a side door. There was a cacophony of alien chatter filling the room when they entered that quickly dropped to a hush as they were noticed. The Administrator took a seat off to the side of the audience while Adam climbed the three short steps to the stage and moved behind the podium.

He placed notes down on the small surface before him and then took a quick glance at his audience. There was a menagerie of aliens of nearly all shapes and sizes sitting before him, but since ninety percent of the members of the Expansion were Primes — meaning Humanoid to Adam — they all followed the same basic physicality. Even then, some wore pressure suits and helmets, while still others had small tubes running to their noses, providing supplemental breathing atmosphere they required.

These were the appointed representatives of the twenty-three sectors of the Expansion, along with a few VIP’s from manufacturing and commerce. It would have been impractical to hold such a meeting with representatives from every planet in the Expansion, nearly eight thousand worlds. Now that would have really tied Adam’s stomach up in knots. Eight thousand aliens all in one room — and imagine the smell!

There was a familiar face smiling at him from the front row. Adam immediately recognized the two dangling appendages below his ears and knew it to be Kaylor. So he’s entered politics? I didn’t see that coming, Adam thought. Better him than the emotional little bear, Jym. But even as he nodded at the tall Belsonian, he caught himself. Just look at me! I’ve entered the political arena myself, so I can’t be critical of anyone else. I wonder if he’s having as shitty a time doing this as I am?

He cleared his throat and the chatter in the room began to diminish. It took a couple more ah-hems before it was quiet.

Adam had no idea what the formal welcoming would be for all these various races, so he chose something very basic and generic.

“Greetings to all,” he began. “I am Adam Cain, Special Ambassador from the planet Earth and representing the interests of the Human race.” The one thing that actually allowed him to remain somewhat calm during his presentation was that he was sure most of the creatures here couldn’t discern Human body language, so no matter how much he screwed up, he was sure they wouldn’t notice. Maybe a shaky voice and redness in the cheeks was normal for a Human….