Eventide

real. I don’t actually feel skin to skin. It’s more of a numb pressure. Like I’m lacking nerve endings. I can’t even open my eyes. I’m so freaking cold, I just want to sleep…

A sharp sting spreads across my cheek, and my body viciously shakes.

“Riley, goddamn it! Wake up!”

Another sting, more shaking.

Slowly, I crack my eyes open. Again, I focus on Eli’s face.

“You’re freezing, Riley,” he says, and it’s only then that I notice I’m wet and naked beneath the large bath towel he’s wrapped me in. Vigorously, Eli rubs my arms and legs and abdomen. My teeth chatter.

Finally, after he all but rubs the first two layers of skin off, Eli tucks me beneath the covers. He’s sitting beside me now, the weight of his body tipping me toward him. With one hand, he grasps my face and tilts it upward.

“Where were you?” he asks. “I’m not being overprotective. I’m not being nosy or obsessive. I’m genuinely worried about you, and something’s not right, Riley. So, please—where did you go?”

It’s a weird question. Even weirder that I don’t have the answer. “I was here, with you,” I respond.

“And then?” Eli continues.

I think a moment. “I went to take a shower.”

Eli studies me. “You don’t remember going outside?”

I concentrate. Hard. Then I look at Eli. “No.”

“That’s where I found you, Ri,” he said, pushing my damp hair off my face. “In the alley between Inksomnia and Bhing’s store. What were you doing?”

“Naked?” I ask.

“Yes, like you’d walked straight out of the shower and out the door. You were huddled against the wall. Mumbling. Eyes wide open.”

Slowly, I shake my head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

With both hands, Eli rubs my arms. “We’ll talk about it later. Warming up?” he asks.

I look at him. “Yeah, I’m fine. Where,” I say, and search his eyes, “were you?”

“I’d fallen asleep, Riley,” he answers. “You were gone when I woke up.” His eyes are grave. “Three hours, Ri.”

I stare off across the room. How can that be? “How can I lose that much time, Eli?” I say. Something has to give, and I mean now. What the freak is happening to me?

Eli leans over and kisses my forehead. Pulling back, his eyes search mine. “I don’t know, but I’m going to figure it out, Ri.” He strokes my hair. “Your behavior is different. Your demeanor. It’s why I always seem to be so in-your-face. I’m worried. We’ll go to my father. He’ll know what to do. Meanwhile, you need some nutrients. Want something to eat?”

“Yeah,” I say, and climb from the covers, pull on sweats and a black long-sleeved Inksomnia T-shirt and a pair of thick wooly socks, and walk to the living room. I’m really not all that hungry now. I’m losing chunks of time, and that scares the hell out of me. I hope Gilles can help. What if I’m killing innocents? Who’s going to stop me? Vic said he could help. But can he? Or is he just trying to change me? Make me his forever. I wouldn’t put it past him. What did I do all that time? Outside, naked. Freaking naked! Goddamn almighty. I start for the kitchen, and Eli stops me.

“Non,” he says, slipping into French. “I got this. You chill on the sofa.”

“Eli, really,” I say. “I’m not a baby. Or an invalid. As a matter of fact I can almost kick your ass.”

He says nothing. The look, though, speaks volumes.

I sigh. “Whatever.” I move to the sofa, plop down, and grab the remote. “Thank you,” I say. I don’t like to be pampered and he knows it.

Eli simply grins.

Flipping on the TV, I turn to the local channel to check out the news. It’s noon and something should be on.

Then, suddenly, there is. The news.

“…the driver’s mutilated body was found in his cab along the marsh on North Beach, at Tybee. It appears to be unrelated to the string of burglaries in the area. Tybee police have no leads as of now,” the news affiliate said.

My insides grow cold. Hadn’t I dreamed that? Oh freaking hell, had I actually been there? It seems too familiar, too…close. I stand and walk to the window, move the drapes and look out over River Street. No way could I have attacked someone. Mutilated someone.

“Ri.”

Eli is behind me. So quiet, I hadn’t even heard him move. I should be used to it by now, but I’m not. Maybe I never will be.

His arms go around my waist and pull me against his body, and his mouth nuzzles my neck. Funny how that doesn’t even remotely frighten me. “I know you’re tired of it all,” Eli says in a low, crooning French accent. “The killing. The death. Hopefully soon, it’ll all be over. You can’t let it get to you, though.” He pulls me tightly against him. “You’re strong, Riley. One of the strongest humans I’ve ever known. So”—he kissed my throat—“fight it.”

I relax against Eli’s strong embrace, but inside, I’m cold. Numb. And I almost take pride that I hide it so well now. Before, I couldn’t hide a damn thing. Eli could read my every thought. Now? With the DNA of two strigoi mixed with my own? Eli’s oblivious. He has no clue that it isn’t the fighting of vampires and finding of dead bodies that torments me now.

It’s the fact that I may be the one hunting them.

Stranger still, I find that tormented isn’t exactly the right way to describe my feelings about possibly being a killer.

It’s more like…

Aroused…

Part Four Unhinged

I’m starting to seriously dig this feeling I have inside of me. Makes me feel alive. Mysterious. Kick-ass. I crave something, and it’s strong, powerful, and pulls at me with a force I never knew existed. I don’t even know what the hell it is, but I want it. Bad. Don’t forget—I’ve had these cravings before. I used to be an addict, and this feels the same. Sometimes I feel like my insides are turning outside, every nerve ending is on fire, and that if I don’t get whatever it is I’m craving, I will go totally insane. But you know what’s starting to piss me off? Everything. And everyone. Eli. Luc. Phin. Josie. Seth. Zetty. Preacher. Estelle. Nyx. Irritating as shit, every one of them. Constantly watching me—especially Eli. I can barely have any time to my freaking self. You know what I want? I want everyone to leave me the fuck alone.

—Riley Poe

Everything’s changed. Me. Them. All that’s around me. Complete chaos. And I don’t even think they can see it. At least, they don’t see what I see.

And that’s fine by me.

They all look at me funny, and that’s something I don’t like. I’m trying not to make a big deal about it, but it’s starting to grate on my last everfucking nerve. I don’t know how much more I can stand. Always watching. Always talking. Planning shit behind my back. Someone’s always with me. Acting like I don’t have a fucking brain in my head to make decisions with.

And Eli’s eyes are constantly locked on to me.

Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my goddamn mind.

I’ve gotten good at hiding it though, and trust me when I say that’s a plus. If they all knew what really went on inside my head they’d lock me away. But I didn’t make it through drug rehab and vamp rehab to break down