Flashback

used me.'

She searched Zack's eyes for any signs of judgment or revulsion, but saw only sadness. 'You don't have to share any more of this if you don't want to, ' he said, taking her hand. 'No, I'm okay. Much better than I thought I'd be. You're really very easy to talk to. 'For several years,

' she went on, 'Paul stole prescriptions from the hospital, made them out to his women or his cronies or to people who didn't even exist, and signed my name. He had my signature down even better than I did. He hit up a dozen or more wholesale houses and worked his way through just about every pharmacy in the state.'

'Jesus…'

Suzanne gazed off toward the mountains to the south and began rubbing at her eyes. 'Are you okay? ' Zack asked. 'Huh?… Oh, sure. I'm fine. Fine.'

She fished through her purse and put on her sunglasses. 'Where was IT?'

'You were telling me about the prescriptions. Listen, if you want to change the subject, it's perfectly-'

'No, no. It feels good to be able to talk about it.' She reached beneath her sunglasses and again rubbed her eyes. 'Besides, there's not that much more to tell. Somehow Paul must have found out that the DEA people were on to me, because a week before they showed up at our door, he emptied out our bank account, sold everything we had of value, and took off. No note, no call, nothing. Jen was only two at the time. A year or so later, I heard that he was teaching at a medical school in Mexico.

Somebody else said they s'nv him at an international conference in Milan. But by that time all I wanted was never to hear his name again.'

'What happened to you?'

'Pardon?'

'I asked what happened to you. Suze, are you sure you're all right?'

'Is the glare bothering you?'

'No. Why?'

'Nothing… nothing. What did you ask?'

'Suzanne, let's just leave it for another time-'

'No! Now, wh-what was it?'

She continued to stare off at the mountains. The muscles in her face had grown lax and expressionless. Her hands had begun to tremble. Zack studied her uncomfortably. He glanced at his watch. Barbara Nelms and her son were due in ten minutes. 'Suzanne?'

She did not respond. 'Listen, ' he said, shutting off the radio and putting it back into the wicker basket. 'I think maybe you've shared enough for one day.' He began repacking the leftovers. 'I'm just happy you felt able to talk about it with-'

'You know, ridiculous as it may sound, ' Suzanne went on fluidly, 'I'm not sure I know exactly what happened next…'

Zack looked at her queerly. The lifelessness was gone from her face and her voice, and she was as animated as ever. He battled back the urge to again ask her if she was okay.'.. One minute, I was suspended from the hospital, sitting in lawyers' offices, fighting with the child welfare people and trying to fend off the DEA animals, and the next I was here in Sterling, putting in pacemakers.'

Zack studied her for any lingering sign of distraction, but saw none. It was as if a cloud bad passed briefly across the sun and then had suddenly released it. He forced concern from his mind. She seemed, as she had claimed, to be absolutely fine. 'Did Frank have a hand in that?

' he managed. 'I guess. One day he called, the next day he came down and interviewed me, and the next day, it seemed, the pressure that had been on me from all those sides began to disappear.'

'Well, good for Frank.' Zack felt his tension recede. 'We haven't been getting along too well lately. I think I'll have to try a little harder. '

'I'm not really sure if it was him or Ultramed, ' she said, 'but someone got the wolves off my back.'

'That's a horrible story.'

'Except for the ending, it is.'

'Call that part of it the beginning, ' Zack said. 'I hope telling you all of that helps you see why I've had a little problem with letting a man back into my life. And also why I feel obligated to support Ultramed wherever I can. Thanks to Paul, loyalty has moved ahead of just about everything else on my list of qualities that matter in a person.'

'I understand.'

She kissed him-once, and then again. The last drop of his worry vanished. 'So, ' she said, still cradling his face in her hands, 'just be patient with me, okay?'

'Just once in more than three years, huh?'

He repacked the last of their lunch and pulled her down to him. 'As soon as we have a little time, I'd like to help you improve on that average.'

She brushed her lips across his neck. 'In that case, just don't stop trying. My horoscope told me to be on the lookout for a tall, dark stranger who did coin tricks.'

He ran his fingers slowly down the back of her thigh and over her calf., Thanks for the picnic, ' he said. 'Thanks for dessert. And listen, good luck with the Nelms boy, I hope this works out. If you get anywhere today, I think we should consider writing up our technique for some journal. We can title the article Pediatric Neurology Alfresco.'

She pushed herself to her feet. Zack walked her to her car and watched until she had disappeared down the hill. Then he returned to the field, absently humming a passage from Fantasia on Greensteeves by Ralph Vaughan Williams. Toby Nelms looked chronically ill. His skin was midwinter pale, with several small patches of impetigo alongside his nose and at the corner of his lips. He was thin as a war orphan and carried himself with a dispirited posture, his gaze nearly fixed on the ground. But it was the listless, dull gray of his eyes that worried Zack the most. They were the eyes of utter defeat which he had encountered so many times in terminally ill patients-the eyes of death. At Zack's request, Barbara Nelms hugged her son, promised to return for him as soon as she had finished shopping, and drove back down the hill to town.

If Toby was frightened at her departure, his dispassionate expression hid the fact well. He had spotted the Fleet almost immediately, and had glanced over at it twice before she had even started to drive off. Zack reflected on Brookings's account of the child's terrified dash across the clinic parking lot, and knew that, for the moment at least, he was making progress. A tumor, a seizure disorder, a congenital, slowly developing vascular abnormality, a toxic reaction to something the boy was consuming without anyone's knowledge-Zack had balanced the possibilities against the psychiatric diagnoses and found all of them wanting. He had even made a brief drive around the boy's neighborhood, searching for a landfill or other dumping site where Toby might be sustaining a chemical exposure. Nothing. 'Hi, kiddo, ' Zack said, kneeling on the grass, two yards away from the boy. 'My name is Zack.'

There was curiosity in the boy's eyes, but no other reaction. 'I'm a doctor, but I'm not going to examine you, or do any tests, or even touch you. Please believe that. I would like you to learn to trust that I would never lie to you, and that I mean exactly what I say, okay?

I'll say it once more. I will never, ever lie to you. I asked your mom to bring you here because I thought it might be easier for us to get to know one another outside the hospital.'

At the mention of the word hospital, a shadow of fear darkened the boy's expression. 'Your mom will be back as soon as she finishes her shopping,

' Zack added quickly. 'Meanwhile, we can lie around, or explore, or even climb up to that little cliff over there. This place is called the Meadows. I used to play here when I was a boy.' He flashed momentarily on Suzanne. 'I still do, in fact, ' he added. Toby's eyes darted again toward the Fleet. 'I built that plane over there a long time ago, ' Zack explained. 'It flies by remote control.' He held up the control box for the boy to see. 'She loops, and rolls over, and zooms up to the clouds.

Go ahead. Take look at her.'

Toby Nelms remained where he was, but there could be no mistaking his interest. 'Go on. It's okay. I'm going back to the car for a second to get Some fuel for her.', Only when he had reached the van did Zack turn back. The boy was kneeling by the Fleet, and was, ever so gently, running his fingers over the shiny, lacquered finish of her wings. Too anxious to stay away for the last fifteen minutes of the agreed-upon hour, Barbara Nelms rolled to stop some distance downhill from the meadow and made her way quietly toward Zack's van, half expecting to find her