The Immortal Circus (Cirque des Immortels)

other performers of this troupe,” she says. Her words are careful, as though every one is a chore. “She has always been mortal, and her fate has always been tied to the health of this show.”

“What did you do to her?”

“You already know,” she says. “I had her taken far, far away. The only things that can sever her bond to her duties are distance or death.” She pauses and looks at me. Her voice goes soft. “You may call me what you like, but I am no murderer. It was my choice to have Melody hidden away. Senchan would have had her killed. I saved her, so I could save all of us.”

“You’re insane,” I say. She’s completely lost it. She doesn’t seem to realize that outside the trailer, people are burning and bleeding — the very family of performers she’s deluding herself into thinking she’s saving.

“It was the only way,” she says. “It’s the only way we can be free. Our contracts will only be void when the circus is over. You and I, we should be working together. We’re the same.”

Then, before I can ask what she’s talking about, she places the book on the table. It’s open to my name.

“You see?” she says, and points to the very bottom line. “Section 72A: The duration of this contract is valid indefinitely, or until Vivienne is deemed to have served her purpose, whichever transpires first.” She looks at me with true sadness in her eyes. “Your contract has no end. I didn’t believe it at first, couldn’t imagine Mab would try the same trick on you as she had on me. But she did. You’re in this forever.”

Her words send my mind into a haze, a heaviness I can’t shake. I expect the memory to crash back upon seeing the evidence before me, but it doesn’t. No remembering signing my life away, no reason to have done such a thing. I glance at my hands. The light, the power, the visions…whatever it was, that was what I was running from. Whatever it was, it was bad enough to want it locked away for eternity.

“At first,” she says, her words barely above a whisper, “it sounds like an okay fate. But that’s now. That’s only after a few weeks. Imagine how it will feel when you watch a hundred years pass you by, a thousand. The world changes, empires crumble. Friends die. And you know that every day you will wake up and see the sun rise, and you will put on a show, and then you will go to sleep without even a dream to help you escape. Never aging, never dying. Oh, yes, it sounds okay now, but when you are as old as I, the torment is unbearable.”

I close my eyes and force myself to stay standing. What she’s saying is impossible to fathom, but the idea of it is trying to sink in. I keep seeing the print, this contract is valid indefinitely. I had wanted to run away, but had I really wanted to run away forever?

“There is only one way for this madness to end,” Penelope whispers. “If the show is over, our contracts are moot. If the Dream Trade stops, she has no more use for us. We will be free.”

I take a deep, staggering breath and open my eyes.

“What about her?” I ask, pointing to the girl.

“Lilith?”

I nod and look at her. If she’s paying us any attention, it doesn’t show. She’s nuzzling her cheek against Poe’s face.

“I needed a reason for the Summer Court to intervene. She was the perfect ploy. Once they have her, Mab’s reign is over for good.”

“But why?”

She just smiles. “I’m afraid I can’t say. Quite literally.” She taps the book in front of her, then closes it and begins to walk around the desk. “You should be thanking me,” she says. “I’ve done all I can to keep your friends safe from harm — even that witch of yours. When this is all over, you three will be free to come and go as you please.”

She walks by me, right within arm’s reach. I should grab her, should stop her. But her words have a weight. Sure, the circus is fun now; performing every day, seeing Kingston and Melody. An eternity of evenings under the stars and circus lights, endless nights of applause. But what happens a few years from now? Twenty? Fifty? What happens when Kingston and Melody’s contracts are up and I’m left here alone, day after day, without even Kingston’s magic to help me forget the years that edge by? Kingston’s image fills me with regret; I can’t even tell if he’s worth staying for. I’ve been living off lies the entire time I’ve been here. What Penelope’s saying sounds like the first bit of truth.

“Mab’s trailer is protected,” she says. “It leads straight into the heart of the Winter Court, which no Summer Fey can enter. Stay in here until this little war is over and you will have your whole life ahead of you. A normal life. One worth living.” She puts a hand on my arm. I don’t flinch. I can’t make myself move. Endless nights, endless lies… “I’m on your side. Really.”

The trouble is, I believe her.

“Come on, Lilith,” she says, holding out a hand. Lilith takes it without a pause. “It’s time to go meet your new friends.”

“Friends?” she asks.

“Yes,” she says. She opens the door; outside, all I can see is a silvery haze. “They’ve been waiting a very, very long time to meet you.”

They step out and disappear in the fog. The door shuts.

I don’t move.

There’s a war going on outside the trailer and I don’t move a muscle. The adrenaline is gone, the incredible power has faded. I stand in Mab’s trailer, alone, the silence deafening. I don’t even feel like a coward. I just feel helpless.

The book of contracts sits before me. Just looking at it makes me feel naked, vulnerable. I know without a doubt that if I were to take a few more steps, I’d have my entire life laid out before me. I’d know why I came here in the first place. I’d know more about these powers and visions. But as I look at it, I can’t bring myself to move closer. Somewhere, there’s a small voice in the back of my brain that doesn’t want to know. Knowing hurts too much.

I could stay here.

I could wait out the battle and let Penelope hand over Lilith. Then we’d be free. Tomorrow would come and Kingston and Mel and I would be together and we could head off and make a new life. No circus, no contracts. Freedom. We’d age together, live normal lives, get an apartment, and get real jobs. We’d laugh and fight and flirt and everything would be like in here, but more real. It wouldn’t all feel like some grand illusion just waiting for the final curtain to fall.

I could stay here.

I could wait.

But then I imagine their faces when I tell them what happened, when Kingston pulls out the truth and learns I let Penelope win, when he realizes it’s my fault that Lilith was lost and everyone’s death was in vain, and no one was avenged. He would hate me. They both would. The scorn nearly tears me apart. I stare at the book on the table and feel the weight of this press on me with its terrible burden. If I do the right thing, I’ll save the circus but eventually lose everyone I care about. I’ll be stuck in here forever, or until I’ve served whatever purpose Mab has for me.

If I let this happen, if I let Penelope win, I’d lose everyone a hell of a lot sooner.

It’s not even a decision.

I turn and run from the trailer, hoping I catch Penelope before she reaches Oberos.

Chapter Eighteen: Destroy Everything You Love

The world explodes into focus the moment I leave the trailer.

Flames leap across the sky and turn the entire world a sickening mix of yellow and red. Bodies litter the ground, some in flames, some mangled. Humanoid or overtly fey, the carnage is the same. The silence of the trailer gives way to the sounds of roars and screams. Even the earth heaves with tremors as the colossal Shifters and shadowy Night Terrors make battle with the Summer Fey. I look left and right and catch sight of Penelope as she drags Lilith to the edge of the cornfield. The battle rages around them, but their path is clear: no Summer Fey dares to attack them. I don’t have time to hesitate. I run.