tin pot over an open fire that you can stick a spoon in it and it’ll stand up.’
‘It sounds dreadful.’
‘Yeah, well, you’ll have to get used to it because, if you ever ask for cream to be put into the coffee, then everyone will know right enough that you ain’t no cowboy. But poker’s the most important thing. You ever played before?’
‘No.’
‘How about other card games?’
‘No, I’m not a gambler,’ Lex replied, rather contemptuously. ‘I don’t rely on luck. I prefer to be sure I’ll win.’
Jesse stared at him. ‘You realise what a dumb thing that is to say, do you? Considering who your Goddess is and all.’
Lex scowled. ‘I was an excellent thief and conman even before she came along. In fact, that’s what made her take such an interest in me in the first place. I’m careful and dedicated to my art. That’s why I sometimes appear to be lucky.’
This wasn’t entirely true, and Lex knew it. He was lucky. But he was also, as he’d said, careful and hard- working. Indeed, if he’d applied his clever mind to any other profession, he would have climbed his way straight to the top of the ladder in no time. Successfully pulling off thefts and scams did not come easily. There was a lot of hard work involved in what Lex did. And he saw himself as completely entitled to every penny he earned.
‘Whatever,’ Jesse said with a grin. ‘The point is that if you’ve never played card games before then you’ll have no feel for the cards. Here.’ As if by magic, the cowboy produced a deck from one of the inner pockets of his jacket. ‘Have a go at shuffling them.’
Lex took the cards, squinting at them dubiously. They were dirty, dog-eared and all had pictures of naked women on them. Lex shuffled them for a few seconds, didn’t drop a single card, and then handed them back to Jesse.
But the cowboy shook his head. ‘We ain’t done yet, partner. That there was your basic sliding shuffle. Anyone with two hands can do that. But for poker you’re mostly gonna need the dovetail shuffle. And you’ll also need to learn the Hindu shuffle, the pile shuffle and the Chemmy shuffle. Then we’ll go on to the Mongean shuffle and the Faro shuffle. And the false shuffle, too, because they all expect a bit of cheating. Once you’ve got all that, then we’ll go on to the game itself.’
Lex stared at him. ‘You’re joking, surely?’
‘That I ain’t.’
‘All right,’ Lex said. ‘Show me how each one is done. Whenever I get a spare minute I’ll practise, but I want to go on to the game itself today.’
‘It’s your funeral, kid. But mark my words, you’ll need more than just one demonstration before you can master them.’
‘Perhaps two, then,’ Lex replied carelessly. ‘But I have a sharp eye, a good memory and an excellent knack for mimicry.’
‘And a large dash of modesty,’ Jesse said.
‘Modesty is for chumps! Or people who have no talents!’
‘Well, I reckon you’re probably right about that,’ the cowboy replied mildly.
There was a grand total of eight different shuffles that Lex would need to master before they reached Dry Gulch. Jesse demonstrated each one once before they moved on to the game of poker itself. Lex had never played before in his life but, to his smug delight, he quickly discovered that it was precisely the sort of game which he was born to play. To be a good poker player you needed a good memory, an ability to quickly calculate odds in your head and? best of all? you needed to be able to bluff convincingly. Jesse explained that many poker players had ‘tells’? something that gave them away when they were lying. Lex couldn’t help but sneer at this. He was far, far too disciplined for tells. He could lie brazenly right to someone’s face without allowing his expression or his body language to give him away, and had been able to do so for years. Bluffing in poker was, therefore, an absolute piece of cake. Not only that, but he had a good head for figures and was able to calculate the odds and weigh his chances with ridiculous ease.
‘Well, I can’t see what all the fuss is about,’ Lex announced blithely. He could tell that the fact he’d picked poker up so quickly and so easily was annoying Jesse, and he was determined to get as much mileage out of the petty victory as he possibly could. ‘This game is so painfully simple that we might as well sit around playing snap and have done with it.’
To Lex’s gratification, Jesse’s mouth fell open and the cowboy gaped at him like a landed fish. ‘Snap?’ he managed at last. ‘ Snap? Here’s a piece of advice I’ll give you for free, kiddo, don’t ever make that suggestion to any cowboys you meet in Dry Gulch.’
Poker was a mixture of talent and luck, which was why Lex naturally excelled at it. He was dealt more than his fair share of full houses and straight flushes. And, when he didn’t get a good hand, he was able to calculate the odds of what Jesse had and, that way, always knew whether he should cut his losses or bluff flawlessly.
‘This is so easy it’s not even fun,’ Lex said after about an hour of playing, throwing down the cards as he spoke. ‘I think I’ve got the knack of it now.’
In fact he was being deliberately flippant. The truth was that he could tell already that he was going to enjoy poker. And if there were a few more players at the table then it would be even better.
‘That there was your basic hold ’em,’ Jesse replied almost sulkily. ‘But there’s other variations you’ll have to learn yet. Seven-card stud and five-card draw and Omaha and black vulture poker and-’
‘Fine, we’ll do that later when I have five minutes to spare,’ Lex replied. ‘I’m going to get changed for dinner.’
‘Dinner? Dandy! What are we having?’
‘You aren’t having anything,’ Lex said sternly. ‘You’re staying right here out of sight. You’re supposed to be dead, remember. Look, you do appreciate how important it is that you stay out of sight, don’t you? It’s bad enough that you’re in the hotel as it is. You must not leave this room. Even if the hotel is on fire. Got it?’
Jesse shrugged. ‘Well, I gotta eat some time. I’m a big fella, not a skinny chap like you. I need food.’
‘We’ll both eat from the mini-bar before I go downstairs.’
It was a fortunate thing that everyone already seemed to have decided that Lex was so grief-stricken he was refusing food. It would make it less suspicious when he didn’t eat a single thing that evening. And leaving good food on his plate would be much easier to do if he wasn’t actually hungry. So, before he went downstairs, he and Jesse stuffed their faces on the food that was packed into the mini-bar. There were sandwiches, savoury snacks, chocolate and cake? not to mention the gigantic fruit basket in the living room as a condolence present for Jesse’s being horribly killed. They ate until they could not eat any more.
‘Well, I guess I’ll just go and have myself a little lie down,’ Jesse said once they’d finished. ‘There’s nothing like a snooze after a good meal.’
‘Splendid idea,’ Lex replied over his shoulder as he headed into his own room to get changed. He’d brought a slightly smarter outfit for dinner, which was just as well seeing as how he’d got a copious amount of crumbs over his first one? in addition to a smear of melted chocolate across the collar of his shirt whilst greedily trying to consume a particularly large slice of dark, moist chocolate cake. The grief-stricken impression he was trying to convey may have been very slightly spoilt if he had gone down to the restaurant with chocolate stains all over his clothes.
So he put the black shirt and tie on, brushed his hair and rubbed at his eyes a bit before spending a couple of minutes practising grim, pained, mournful expressions at himself in the bedroom mirror.
‘Gods, I’m good,’ he muttered to himself as he straightened his tie. His face was so pitiful that he almost felt sorry for himself! Lex could pull different facial expressions off at will if the occasion called for it but, wherever possible, he liked to spend a few minutes carefully getting himself into character first. It never did to turn your nose up at preparation simply because you were endowed with a Gods-given talent, and were naturally lucky to boot.
Now that he was ready, he lingered in his bedroom only to rummage around in his bag until he found the handcuffs. Lex’s bag used to belong to the same enchanter he had stolen the ship from. It was a magic bag that was bigger inside than it was out and could be filled with a practically endless supply of stuff without ever seeming to become any heavier. Lex had therefore packed it full of everything and anything that he might ever conceivably
