if you have one! Do you really think I would bash my own head in for the sake of a scam?’
Jeremiah glared at him. ‘I think there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for the sake of a scam! You’re a blaggard and a rogue! You don’t care about anyone but yourself and you’re quite happy to lie shamelessly in people’s faces to get what you want! I saw how you did it at the Majestic when you had everyone believing Jesse was really dead. Even I thought you were grieving! So forgive me if I don’t fall for the same trick twice, but I know what an excellent actor you are and I’d bet money on the fact that the state you’re in now is due to nothing more than careful planning, good make-up and fine acting.’
And with that, Jeremiah lunged out his hand and knocked the dried blood from Lex’s temple, clearly expecting it to flake away to reveal ordinary skin beneath. Instead, he simply re-opened the gash and it started bleeding again.
Lex did not need to act this time. Jeremiah’s clumsy fingers had made contact with the most sensitive part of his already-sore head. If his headache had been bad before, that touch almost seemed to split his head in two. He pushed Jeremiah away with one hand whilst jerking the other up to clamp over his temple, warm blood trickling through his fingers as he groaned in pain.
When he was able to see something other than stars again, he glared up at Jeremiah and said, ‘Are you completely deranged? Did your mother drop you on your head one too many times as a baby? What the heck’s the matter with you?’
‘I’m sorry,’ Jeremiah replied. ‘I honestly thought you were putting on an act.’
‘I’m not!’
‘Well, obviously, I can see that now!’ Jeremiah said, looking quite peeved. ‘But you only have yourself to blame! When you walk around fibbing all the time about everything, you can’t be surprised when people don’t believe you on the odd occasion when you are telling the truth!’
‘Whatever!’ Lex replied sourly. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I need to go and try to save Jesse from the mess you’ve landed him in. No doubt it’ll be futile and we’ll both end up dead, but I’m sure that’ll please you no end.’
‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous!’ Jeremiah said. ‘Naturally, I’ll help you rescue Jesse.’
‘You’ll what?’ Lex frowned. He knew the nobleman felt guilty, but he hadn’t realised he felt that guilty.
‘This is your fault,’ Jeremiah said firmly. ‘Not mine. If you hadn’t lied and cheated your way into Dry Gulch House then Jesse wouldn’t be in the predicament he’s in now. So don’t think you’ve managed to guilt me into anything. But he did do Tess a great service back on the Scurleyshoo Death and I owe him for that. So I’ll help you.’
Well, two rescuers were better than one. And, if anyone shot at them, Lex could always use Jeremiah as a human shield.
‘What’s your plan?’ the nobleman asked.
‘First we need to steal that hearse,’ Lex said, pointing across the street to the undertaker’s. ‘Do you think you can distract them long enough for me to get Sally hitched to the wagon?’
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Jeremiah was not overly happy about stealing the hearse, but he went along with it, anyway. Lex had had a lot of practice at hitching horses to wagons back at the farm he’d grown up on, and even knew how to adapt an ordinary saddle to the task. He was therefore able to do it extremely fast and the undertaker didn’t suspect a thing until it was too late, distracted as he was by Jeremiah’s posh voice and shiny buttons? for wealthy clients meant expensive coffins and thus a larger-than-usual ham to take home to the dinner table. Once Jeremiah saw that Lex was ready, he made his excuses, left the shop and leapt up on to the cart alongside the thief, who flicked the reins to get Sally moving forwards. She soon picked up quite a pace and? aside from a bit of shouting and name-calling from the undertaker? they made a clean getaway.
‘You stink of fish,’ Jeremiah said, once they were clear of the town. ‘Why the heck are you carrying those trout around like that, anyway?’
‘Er…’ Lex looked down at the battered trout still in his hand. He could hardly tell Jeremiah that he had them because a giant, talking fox had told him to get them. He’d sound nuts. He found it difficult to believe, now, that he had actually gone to the kitchens and demanded a pair of smoked trout. Clearly he hadn’t been thinking straight. Really, it was a wonder he’d got out of that house alive.
‘Never mind,’ Lex said, stuffing the fish into his bag. ‘It’s not important.’
‘So, what’s the plan, exactly?’ Jeremiah asked.
‘Well, we’ll ride in, pretending to be there for the body, obviously,’ Lex replied.
‘But the coffin’s got the name Clint Davis written on it on a little brass plaque,’ Jeremiah pointed out.
‘Oh well; I’m sure they won’t notice,’ Lex said carelessly. ‘And even if they do, I bet most of them can’t read. Once we’re there, maybe you can cause a diversion whilst I get Jesse.’
‘ Me? What am I supposed to do?’
‘I don’t know; use your imagination. Do a cartwheel or something.’
‘But-’
‘Let’s just concentrate on getting there, all right?’ Lex said. ‘We’ll worry about the rest later.’
Time had got away from Lex in the town. There was only an hour to go until noon. If Jesse was going to switch them, then he’d probably do it when the noose was actually around his neck and he was on the very verge of being hanged. He wouldn’t want Lex to have time to talk his way out of it, after all.
Lex urged Sally to go faster along the dusty track, past the cactuses and tumbleweed, praying that the directions he’d been given were accurate. He could see the huge rock formations the farmers had mentioned and, after about twenty minutes, he slowed the cart down to go around one and was profoundly relieved, on turning the corner, to see a little gaggle of cowboys grouped around a tree, right where the farmers had said they would be.
They turned to glance at the advancing cart, which Lex forced himself to keep slow, so as not to arouse suspicion. The cowboys watched its approach warily. Lex counted six of them. And a mean looking bunch they were, too? big, brutish and clearly unfamiliar with the concept of regular bathing. Their horses were standing nearby, and Lex instantly spotted Rusty a little to one side.
And there? balancing with some difficulty on a wooden stake? was Jesse with a noose around his neck. The rope was just short enough and the noose was just tight enough to make the cowboy extremely uncomfortable. It was cutting into his neck and causing red welts to rise up on his skin. Really, Jesse was being half-hanged already. The area he had to stand on was extremely small? it was only because he had such a good sense of balance that he hadn’t fallen off yet, especially seeing as his hands were tied behind his back. But he couldn’t keep it up all day. And as soon as he fell off that stake, the rope would go taut and that would be that. He looked positively astonished at the sight of the approaching wagon but Lex couldn’t work out whether that was because he was pleased to see them or dismayed.
‘What is this?’ one of the cowboys demanded as soon as the wagon ground to a halt. ‘Why have you come here?’
‘We’ve come for the body,’ Lex replied blithely. ‘Can’t have it lying around stinking up the place. Not in this heat.’
The sun beat down upon them quite relentlessly. Lex wished he had his hat, but it had come off when the chandelier had fallen on him. Flies, drawn out by the heat, buzzed around his face and he had to keep swatting them away.
‘Never bothered anyone before. Besides, you don’t look like undertakers. Especially that one-’ one of the cowboys began, gesturing towards Jeremiah and his expensive coat and posh haircut.
‘Oh, come on!’ Lex replied in an impatient voice. ‘Obviously we’re not undertakers! Don’t be so daft! We stole this hearse. I have a personal vendetta against that man,’ Lex said, pointing an emphatic finger at Jesse. ‘He stole from me and then left me for dead.’
‘Aw, come on, kid, it was only a little knock on the head, after all-’ Jesse began in rather a strangled voice?
