The days began to have a certain pattern to them. She was allowed to sit for longer periods of time each day, and while she was awake, there was always someone to sit with her: Yeliana most of all, Arina when she could, other young women; even, surprisingly often, Vera. Tess was forced to admit that Vera could be good company when she chose to be, and for whatever reason, Vera chose to entertain Tess. Occasionally Vladi was allowed into the tent in Yeliana's company, but he rarely had anything to say. Anton Veselov had ridden with Bakhtiian to the coast. Niko was the only other man she saw, until at last, seven days later, the damp weather ceased and she was moved out under the awning, where she was permitted to receive visitors.
Tasha came by, and Petya, and Vladi, and Konstans, and two young riders she did not know very well, who had been with them in the battle. Finally Kirill came by. Arina, seeing who it was, excused herself and reminded Yeliana that there was work to be done elsewhere.
Kirill sat down beside her. He glanced at her sidewise and blushed. 'You are looking much better, Tess.'
'How is your arm, Kirill?'
He shrugged, but the gesture was awkward and unbalanced. 'I have a little movement in my shoulder again but I can feel nothing at all in my right arm. If I could not see it there with my eyes, I would think I had lost it. Niko says perhaps in time it will heal.''
'You must exercise it. Keep moving it.'
He glanced at her again, the briefest touch, and looked away. 'Over fifty young men have ridden in to camp here over the last eighteen days. Already they speak of Bakhtiian's great ride beginning next spring. Twelve rode in this morning from Bakhalo's jahar-ledest, and they say that Bakhalo himself may bring the rest here. It's good land with enough water and forage and close to khaja lands. So,' he paused, looking down at his hands, the picture of modesty, 'all these young riders need someone to teach them. And I can't fight.'
'Oh, Kirill, I'm sorry.'
He lifted his gaze to look directly at her for an impetuous moment, and then wrenched his gaze away. Silence stretched out between them. At last, in a whisper, he spoke. 'All I ever wanted was to be a rider. It would have been better if I'd died.'
She felt herself pale with fear. She grabbed his good hand. 'Never say that, Kirill. Never!'
'We are in camp, Tess. Everyone can see us. I have my reputation to think of. Forgive me.'
'There is nothing to be forgiven,' she said, but her voice shook and she let go of his hand. 'So you will train them.' They spoke on in this fashion until the subject was exhausted, and even then Kirill lingered, and they discussed whether Yeliana might teach her to spin so that she might have something to do with her hands. Niko arrived finally and chased Kirill off.
'You must be circumspect in your dealings with unmarried men,' he said mildly, watching Kirill walk away.
'I think I'll ask Arina if she has any mending I can do,' said Tess, ignoring his rebuke. 'When do I get to walk?'
'Tomorrow.'
'Tomorrow!'
'Yes. I think twenty days is time enough. If you are not healed inside now, then-well, let me say that differently. I think resting has achieved as much as it can. Now we must work you again.'
'Oh, Niko, how kind you are.'
'One can only be as kind as one is willing to be ruthless.'
'Oh, God.' She pressed her hands over her eyes and wiped hard along her cheeks. 'That's exactly the kind of thing Yuri always said. I miss him so much.'
He knelt beside her and rested a hand on her hair. 'As do we all, my child. Juli and I had six children, and three of them died very young. But I carry all of them in my heart, and I always will.'
Tess sighed and rested her head against his chest. They sat that way for some time.
But the next morning she felt ridiculously excited, so much so that Arina laughed at her. 'You can't run today, you know. Ah, here is Niko.'
'Now, Tess,' said Niko, 'if it hurts badly, you must tell me. Some discomfort I expect.'
'Oh, thank you.' She grinned. Niko took her on one side, Yeliana, being the taller of the two women, on the other, and they helped her stand up. She felt dizzy. When they let her go, she wondered for a moment if her legs would work, and then she took one step, and a second, and a third and all the way past Arina and pushed through the tent flap to go outside.
'Tess!' Niko said from behind her, but she ignored him. But the bright light hit her like a wash of pain and she staggered. And fell right into Kirill.
He clasped her tight with his good arm, hesitated, and then lowered her to the rug and let her go, stepping back all the way to the edge of the awning. Arina and Niko and Yeliana hurried out of the tent.
'Tess! I told you-'
'Oh, Niko, your face. No, I feel fine. I just lost my balance-' Then she saw that Kirill was looking anywhere but at her, and that Arina was staring at the rug. 'I'm sorry, Niko,' she finished, suddenly contrite.
'You will walk when and as much as I allow, young woman.'
'Yes, Niko.'
'Well, then. I'll allow you to walk back into the tent, and I'll see to your wounds. Then we will see.' But in the end he let her walk twice more that day, once all the way around the great tent.
'Well, girl,' he said that night, sounding satisfied as he examined the knife wound, 'you'll keep this scar but I think you'll live.'
In five days he allowed her to walk as far as the camp growing up downstream from the Veselov camp, a huddle of small tents belonging to young riders, come to join Bakhtiian. She went there every morning with Yeliana to watch Kirill training the young men. He had learned to compensate a little for his dead arm, but even so, he was clearly never going to fight or ride in a jahar again. He looked to her not so much older as more sober, as if his youth had finally bled away into the grass with the blood he had lost that terrible day. Every morning she walked, and watched, and then walked back to Arina's tent at midday. In the afternoon, she would sit beneath the awning and visitors would come. It embarrassed her, but she learned graciousness. It reminded her of Charles, of the way he received embassies and guests in Jeds, of the way conferences and media and smaller, quieter planning sessions came to him on Odys and Earth. Tasha brought her a pair of fine boots he had made for her. Aleksia Charnov gave her her dead brother's finely wrought dagger. Vera taught her how to lace beads together into headpieces. While Tess practiced this intricate work, Kirill and Arina would sit with her, and the three of them would carry on excruciatingly pleasant and polite conversations until Niko arrived to take her for her late afternoon walk.
' 'How many days has it been?'' Tess asked Niko one fine winter afternoon, with the sun shining high in the sky. It was chilly but not cold.
'Forty-one days. Tess, it is time you let him go-'
A shout came from the direction of the camp. He paused and stared back, and she paused as well. Kirill was walking after them.
He was flushed as he came up to them, and he kept his gaze fixedly on Niko. 'Sibirin, there is news. Let me walk with Tess.' Something communicated but not spoken passed between the two men.
'With Tess's permission,' said Niko.
'Given,' said Tess. Niko inclined his head and walked back to camp.
'What news, Kirill?' she asked, suddenly shy. Oh, God. Her heart raced. What if Ilya was back?
'Will you walk with me, Tess?' he asked. He rested his left hand on her elbow, as familiar with her now as he had always been before. She walked with him until they got as far as the river, and no one could see them.
'Do you want to sit down?' His color was high. He did not look at her.
'No, I'm fine.' She followed him along the river. Water flowed and eddied along the bank.
'Tess. Tess. I can't say this.'
'Kirill, I have always trusted you.'
He sighed and stopped dead in his tracks to look directly at her. 'I have to marry again, Tess. My mother has no daughters and no nieces to take care of her when she's old. And I only had one child.'
'You have a child, Kirill?' She was astonished.
'Yes.' He began walking again in silence, as if the subject was too painful to speak of. She waited him out, and at last he spoke again. 'Little Jaroslav. His mother's kin took him, of course. I want children, Tess. Arina
