True Love and Other Disasters

Faith’s heart felt like it lifted a little too. Right in her chest. Right there in the locker room in front of players and coaches and journalists.

“Although,” he added as he continued to look across at her, “I read in the paper this morning that she thinks I’m a control nut, and if I let go, I might not be so rude and surly all the time.”

“I didn’t say all the time,” she muttered.

“What?” Jim from the Seattle Times asked her. “What did you say, Mrs. Duffy?”

“That I didn’t say he was rude and surly all the time.”

One of the journalists laughed. “Savage is notoriously cranky. I’d like to know when he isn’t scowling.”

He watched her, still smiling like he was amused, waiting for her answer.

When he’s having sex, she thought to herself. He hadn’t been cranky or rude last night. He’d been wonderful and charming. He’d made her laugh and, incredible as it seemed, relax with him. Something she hadn’t done in a while with anyone, and he certainly wasn’t being surly tonight. “When he wins important games,” she answered.

“What is your strategy for Saturday night’s game in Detroit?” someone asked Ty.

He gave Faith one last look before he turned his attention to the man in front of him. “Hockey is a game of one-on-one battles. We just need to keep that in mind and win every battle.”

Faith turned to Jules. “Are you still going to be able to make the Chinooks Foundation meeting tomorrow?” she asked.

He gazed at her, then looked across the room at Ty. He opened his mouth, then closed it. A wrinkle appeared between his dark brows. “I hadn’t planned on it, but I can if you want me to,” he answered, but she had a feeling something was bothering him.

She shook her head and moved toward the door. “No. I can take my own notes.” As she stepped out into the hall, she couldn’t resist one last look at Ty, standing a head taller than the other men. She remembered every detail of the night before. His face in the dark solarium and the touch of his hands and mouth. She’d like to blame last night on Layla, but she couldn’t. Not if she was honest with herself. Last night had been all her. There’d been no teasing. No ulterior motive. No making a man want her when she just wanted his money. She couldn’t blame Layla for last night’s behavior. Not when Faith had been in complete control.

She turned away and headed toward the el evators. Last night had been all about giving in to what she wanted. About sitting in the Brooklyn Seafood Steak and Oyster House and letting Ty touch her under the table. Of putting her hand over his and taking it a step further. She’d done that. Not Layla. Not the wild, shameless person she’d created to hide behind. Last night had been about Faith letting go and being shameless all on her own.

On the drive home, she thought about her life since Virgil’s death. One moment she’d been living a nice, comfortable life. A life where her biggest decision on most days was what she was going to wear. That person, that Faith, would not have let go and moved a man’s big, warm hand to her crotch.

She pulled her Bentley into the parking garage and rode the elevator to the top floor. Her life had changed so much in such a short period of time. It had gone from a slow, easy pace to a whirlwind of meetings and activity. Her decisions had gone from what to wear to how much to pay a first-round draft pick for the next season. And while she had a lot of help with the latter decision, it was such a huge responsibility that she probably would have buckled under the pressure if she were ever allowed to stop and rest long enough to think about it.

She opened the door to the penthouse, and nothing but Pebbles’s yipping and the light in the kitchen greeted her. No “Sexual Healing” on the stereo or giggling from her mother’s room.

Faith moved through the kitchen and down the hall to her own bedroom. She took off her jacket and tossed it on a chair. She couldn’t recall the last time Virgil had stayed in the penthouse, but it had been so long ago that there was no trace of him anywhere. No clothes or ties. No shoes or combs. His toothbrush wasn’t in the marble tile bathroom.

The only thing that belonged to him was his copy of David Copperfield, which Faith had taken from the big house the day she’d left. She sat on the bed and turned on a lamp. Pebbles jumped up beside her as she took the book from the nightstand and ran her hand over the dark brown cover. She lifted it to her nose and smelled the old paper and worn leather. Virgil had always smelled like expensive cologne, but the book held no lingering trace of him.

Pebbles walked in three tight circles next to Faith’s hip, then stretched out alongside her thigh. Faith dug her fingers into the dog’s thick fur as tears filled her eyes. She missed Virgil. She missed his friendship and his wisdom, but it wasn’t her deceased husband she saw when she closed her eyes. It was another man. A man who didn’t smile easily, but who did other, wonderful things with his mouth. A beautiful, strong man who had made her feel safe within his arms as he’d held her against the solarium glass and made love to her. A man who looked at her from across the room and made her stomach go light and heavy and tingly all at the same time. A man who made her want to walk over to him and lay her head on his bare chest.

Faith opened her eyes and brushed a tear from her cheek. She’d just buried her husband and she couldn’t stop thinking about another man. What did that say about her? That she was a horrible person? As horrible and without morals as Landon had always accused her of being?

A book she’d read about grieving said that a person should wait a full year before dating or getting involved. Although could she really call what had happened with Ty the other night “dating or getting involved”? No. Not really. It had been about having sex. About scratching an itch. About letting go and finding release.

But if that’s all it was about, why the warm little tingles tonight? Why the urge to walk across the room and lay her head on his bare chest? After scratching that particular itch four times in one night, shouldn’t she be all scratched out? Shouldn’t she be over letting go? If it had been just about sex, shouldn’t she be good for a while? Especially considering how long she’d gone without?

She ran her hand down Pebbles’s fur and the dog turned over and exposed her belly. There was something deeper than the sex. Something else going on that scared her. It wasn’t love. She did not love Ty Savage. She’d been in love a few times and knew what it felt like. Love felt nice and warm and comfortable—like the love she’d had with Virgil. Or it was hot and consuming—like the love she’d felt for previous boyfriends. It didn’t feel wrong. As if one false move and the bottom might fall out of your life.

That wasn’t love. That was a disaster waiting to happen.

The next morning, Faith met with the director of the Chinooks Foundation. Her name was Miranda Snow, and she seemed genuinely happy to be meeting with Faith. “My assistant is out of the office today,” she said as she handed Faith several brochures. “These are the Chinooks Foundation’s different charities.”

Faith looked them over and was impressed. Every year, the Chinooks held a celebrity golf tournament to raise money for players and former players who’d suffered injury and needed extensive rehabilitation beyond their personal medical coverage.

“We’re currently paying Mark Bressler’s hospital bills that aren’t covered by Blue Cross,” she explained. “And for any additional rehabilitation he might need.”

“How’s he doing?” Faith asked about the former captain, whom she’d met a few times at the Chinooks Christmas parties.

“Well, he broke half the bones in his body and he’s lucky he isn’t paralyzed.” Miranda tossed a pen on her desk. “His caregivers say he’s being a real pain.”

The second charity Miranda told her about was a scholarship program to send eligible children to ice hockey camps. It was based on three criteria. Eligible children had to maintain a 3.0 grade average in school, play above- average hockey, and be of a lower income.

The third charity, the Hope and Wishes Foundation, raised money to aid children’s hospitals throughout the state of Washington with a three-pronged approach: research, financial aid, and community awareness of childhood diseases. Faith read the assembled press clippings and promotional notes about each charity event and had several questions and a comment. She wanted to know how much money each charity raised. She wanted to know how much money was spent on overhead and administrative costs, and what the foundation had planned for the near future.

“I think the PR on this is overboard,” she commented as she read some of the clippings. “We should give back to the community because they support us. Not because we get good PR out of it and might sell more hockey