Neverisms

Never negotiate in a hurry.AARON BURR

This was one of Burr’s favorite sayings—and one he offered to many clients in his role as a lawyer. Dr. Phil McGraw provided an updated version in Relationship Rescue (2000):

Never be in a hurry when making decisions,

the consequences of which will be around for a long time.

Read only useful books;

and never quit a subject till you are thoroughly master of it.LORD CHESTERFIELD (Philip Dormer Stanhope)

Chesterfield offered this advice to his son in a 1748 letter. In a 1759 letter, he continued the theme: “In short, let it be your maxim through life, to know all you can know, yourself; and never to trust implicitly to the information of others.”

Never go back to a place where you have been happy.

Until you do it remains alive for you. If you go back it will be destroyed.AGATHA CHRISTIE, from her 1977 autobiography

Never . . . esteem men on account of their riches, or their station.

Respect goodness, find it where you may.WILLIAM COBBETT, in Advice to Young Men (1829)

Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance.ANTHONY J. D’ANGELO, in The College Blue Book (1995)

When D’Angelo was a college senior at Pennsylvania’s West Chester University, he tried to condense everything he had learned over his college experience into several hundred recommendations that might benefit other students. After graduation, he founded his own personal empowerment company, spoke on the college lecture circuit, and became a contributing editor to Chicken Soup for the College Soul (1999). The tips in his original Blue Book borrowed heavily from the self-help and inspirational literature, and they ranged from the serious to the silly:

Never stop learning; knowledge doubles every fourteen months.

Never rent an apartment with electric heat unless you live in the south.

Never play Twister naked unless you have a can of non-stick cooking spray.

Never drink alcohol when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

Booze will only exacerbate these emotions.

Never harbor grudges; they sour your stomach and do no harm to anyone else.ROBERTSON DAVIES, from a character in Murther & Walking Spirits (1991)

Never get bored or cynical.WALT DISNEY

Never wave at a video camera.ESQUIRE MAGAZINE EDITORS, in The Rules: A Man’s Guide to Life (2005)

For many years, Esquire has run a feature on rules men can use to guide their lives. In 2005, the editors compiled the best rules and published them in an attractive coffee-table book. Of the 697 entries, many were expressed neveristically. Other rules can be found in later chapters of this book, but here are a few more that fit under the advice rubric:

Never select a tattoo just because it’s on sale.

Never be the one to start—or finish—a stadium “wave.”

If you’re younger than 80,

you should never utter the phrase “the whole kit and kaboodle.”

Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there.MICKEY FRIEDMAN

Never argue with the inevitable.PATRICIA FRIPP

Fripp, a popular corporate speaker, was likely inspired by a famous observation from the American poet James Russell Lowell: “There is no good in arguing with the inevitable. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat.”

Never feel compelled to finish everything on your plate.DR. SANJAY GUPTA, in a February 2001

issue of Men’s Journal

Gupta wrote this in an article titled “The Completely Doable Guide to Living to 100.” The advice runs counter to a lesson many received as children (“clean your plate”), but most experts agree that eating less is an important key to living longer. Regarding the amount of food to eat, Gupta provided this helpful rule of thumb: “Never take a portion that is bigger than the size of your palm.” A few years earlier, Dr. Wayne Dyer said similarly:

Never eat by anyone else’s timetable.

Rid yourself of thoughts like, “It’s supper time, I guess I should eat.”

Consult your body. Is it hungry?

Never bear more than one trouble at a time.

Some people bear three kinds—

all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.EDWARD EVERETT HALE

Never wear a hat that has more character than you do.MICHAEL HARRIS, former owner

of Paul’s Hat Works in San Francisco

Never take the advice of someone

who has not had your kind of trouble.SYDNEY J. HARRIS, in Strictly Personal (1953)

Harris added: “It is sure to be based on the false assumption that what sounds ‘reasonable’ will turn out to be the right solution.”

Never sing a blues that isn’t from personal experience,

something you haven’t lived through.SAM “LIGHTNIN’ ” HOPKINS, quoted by Joel Mabus

Never bend your head.

Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.HELEN KELLER, advice to a five-year-old blind girl

Never be entirely idle;

but either be reading, or writing, or praying, or meditating,