Neverisms

Never quit.PAUL “BEAR” BRYANT

The number one rule is:

Never throw from the top of the mound.DICK CHENEY, on throwing ceremonial “first pitches”

Cheney’s rule is addressed to politicians and celebrities who want to avoid public humiliation. Throwing from the top of the mound, instead of from in front of it, dramatically increases the chances that the ball will be thrown out of the catcher’s reach or, worse, that it will bounce in the dirt on the way to home plate—generally to the jeers of the fans.1. Never quit anything you start.2. Work harder than the other person.3. Never be intimidated by anyone or anything.BILL COWHER, his three ingredients for success

Cowher coached the Pittsburgh Steelers for fifteen years, winning a Super Bowl title in 2006. He also offered this warning to athletes: “Never take yourself too seriously, particularly if you’ve had success.”

Never do anything stupid.BEN CRENSHAW, legendary golfer, when asked

to summarize his philosophy of life

You ought to run the hardest when you feel the worst.

Never let the other guy know you’re down.JOE DIMAGGIO, quoted in Mind Gym (2002),

by Gary Mack & David Casstevens

Letting opponents know you’re in pain—physically or psychologically—is a big no-no, and another one of the unwritten laws of sport. Paul Dickson’s The Unwritten Rules of Baseball presented two similar rules:

Never show pain inflicted by an opponent, no matter how much it hurts.

Never rub yourself after a collision,

including hard slides and head-on collisions at home plate.

The admonition about never showing pain appears in other sports as well. Legendary football coach Lou Holtz said something similar about letting an opponent see you in psychological distress: “Never let anyone know you’re rattled. They will draw strength from your discomfort.”

Never call a Scottish bunker a sand trap,

at least not in the presence of your Scottish host.JAMES DODSON, in Golf in the Homeland (1997)

A “sand trap” in America is called a “bunker” in Scotland, the birthplace of golf. In contrasting Scottish bunkers with their American counterparts, Dodson wrote: “They are designed to penalize you for making a stupid shot rather than frame a pretty green fairway or provide a soft white cushion for your 6-iron shot to the green.”

Never complain about an injury.

We believe that if you play, then you aren’t injured, and that’s that.ROY EMERSON, Australian tennis player

Never beat yourself.BILL FREEHAN, in Behind the Mask (1969)

During his fifteen years as a catcher for the Detroit Tigers, Freehan won five Golden Glove titles and was elected to the All-Star team eleven times (many consider him the most talented catcher not elected to baseball’s Hall of Fame). His 1969 memoir looked at the game of baseball from a catcher’s perspective (hence, the title). After the book appeared, his saying was commonly dubbed “Freehan’s Law.”

The first thing is to love your sport.

Never do it to please someone else. It has to be yours.PEGGY FLEMING

Never charge a player.FORD FRICK

This was one of ten rules for umpires drafted by Frick, the third commissioner of Major League Baseball. Published in Baseball Digest in 1949, they were widely circulated. The tenth rule was about collegiality: “No matter what your opinion of another umpire, never make an adverse comment regarding him.”

Never trust a base runner who’s limping.

Comes a base hit and you’ll think he just got back from Lourdes.JOE GARAGIOLA, in Baseball Is a Funny Game (1960)

Never concede a base to your opponent under any circumstances.GORDIE GILLESPIE, baseball coach

Never order sweet tea in a state that does not have an SEC team.LEWIS GRIZZARD

If you’re from outside of the South, you may struggle with the meaning of this saying, which was inspired by a popular southernism: “Never order sweet tea outside the South.” The SEC is the Southeastern Conference, one of America’s major college athletic conferences. The underlying notion is that you can’t get good sweet tea anyplace else but in the South.

Never go to bed a loser.GEORGE HALAS, his personal motto

Halas, known as “Papa Bear,” was the owner of the Chicago Bears from the team’s founding in 1920 until his death in 1983. In the early years, he was also a player, and for many decades he managed the team. This was his motto, which he prominently displayed on a sign in his office.

Never be afraid to demand excellence.LOU HOLTZ, in Winning Every Day (1998)

Holtz completed this recommendation with an important caveat: “But remember, the standards you establish for others must reflect the standards you set for yourself. No one will follow a hypocrite.” In his thirty-three-year coaching career, Holtz coached at six different colleges, taking teams from all six schools to at least one bowl game. He is best remembered for his eleven-year stint at Notre Dame, where he won one hundred games. After he retired, he became a successful motivational speaker and author. He also advised:

Never shortchange anyone.

Never bet against anyone who is committed to excellence.

Never be overly critical of an individual’s performance.

First, find out why he or she failed.

Once you’ve established your good name, maintain it.

Never blemish it with a misdeed or false word.

Never take your attitude for granted.

Reevaluate yourself continually to ensure you are maintaining your edge.

Never borrow money from your ball club