But the Prince wasn't sorry. He was glad. And Mommy wasn't
sorry, because she had baked the cookie. And Daddy wasn't sorry,
because he had gone to New Hampshire to get the 300 year-old
baked beans that went into the cookie.
Naomi and Joe? They just laughed and laughed, because they
knew that it wasn't a Wicked Cookie that Witch Hazel had just
eaten.
It was a Farting Cookie.
Witch Hazel felt something funny.
She felt it building in her tummy and her behind. It felt like a of
gas. It felt like an explosion looking for a place to happen.
'What have you done to me!' she shrieked. 'Who are you?''
'I am the Prince of New Hampshire.'' The Prince cried, raising his
face to she could see it clearly for the first time.
'And we are the Kings.' Daddy said. 'Shame on you for turning
my wife's hands into milk bottles! Double shame on you for
turning my nose into a banana. Triple shame on you for making
my Naomi and my Joe cry all day and all night. But we've fixed
you now, Wicked Witch Hazel!'
'You won't be casting anymore spells.' said Naomi. 'Because you
are going to the moon!'
'I'm not going to the moon!' Witch Hazel screeched so loudly that
the chimney fell on the lawn. 'I'm going to turn you all into cheap
antiques that not even tourists will buy!'
'No you're not.' said Joe, 'because you ate the magic cookie. You
ate the magic farting cookie.'
The wicked witch foamed and frothed. She tried to cast her spell.
But it was too late: the Farting Cookie had done its work. She felt a
big fart coming on. She squeezed her butt to keep it in until she
could cast her spell, but it was too late.
WHONK! Went the fart. It blew all the fur off her cat, Basta. lt
blew in the windows. And Witch Hazel went up in the air like a
rocket.
'Get me down!'' Witch Hazel screamed. Witch Hazel came down
all right. She came down on her fanny. And when the came down,
she let another fart.
DRRRRRRAPPP! Went the fart. lt was so windy it knocked down
the witch's home and the Bridgton Trading Post. You could see
Dom Cardozl sitting on the toilet where he had been pooping. It
was all that was left of the Trading Post except for one bureau that
had been made in Grand Rapids
The witch went flying up into the sky. She flew up and up until she
was as small as a speck of coal dust.
'Get me down. ' Witch Hazel called, sounding very small and far
away.
'You'll come down all right.' Naomi said.
Down came Witch Hazel.
'Yeeeaaahhhh'' she screamed falling out of the sky.
Just before the could hit the ground and be crushed (as maybe she
deserved), she cut another fart, the biggest one of all the smell was
