the living room from the kitchen with a little snack (half a coffeecake
and a beer stein filled with Kool-Aid) to watch General Hospital. She
no longer really believed that Luke would ever find Laura, but she
could not quite find it in her heart to completely give up hope.
She was bending down to turn on the Zenith when Jesus said,
''Becka, Joe is putting the boots to that Hussey down at the pee-oh
just about every lunch hour and sometimes after punching out time in
the afternoon. Once he was so randy he drove it to her while he was
supposed to be helping her sort the mail. And do you know what?
She never even said 'At least wait until I get the first-class into the
boxes.' '
'Becka screamed and spilled her Kool-Aid down the front of the
TV. It was a wonder, she thought later, when she was able to think at
all, that the picture tube didn't blow. Her coffeecake went on the rug.
'And that's not all,' Jesus told her. He walked halfway across
the picture, His robe fluttering around His ankles, and sat down on a
rock that jutted out of the ground. He held His staff between his
knees and looked at her grimly. 'There's a lot going on in Haven.
Why, you wouldn't believe the half of it.'
'Becka screamed again and fell on her knees. One of them
landed squarely on her coffeecake and squirted raspberry filling into
the face of Ozzie Nelson, who had crept into the living room to see
what was going on. 'My Lord! My Lord!' 'Becka shrieked. Ozzie
ran, hissing, for the kitchen, where he crawled under the stove with
red goo dripping from his whiskers. He stayed under there the rest of
the day.
'Well, none of the Paulsons was ever any good,' Jesus said. A
sheep wandered towards Him and He whacked it away, using His
staff with an absentminded impatience that reminded 'Becka, even in
her current frozen state, of her long-dead father. The sheep went,
rippling slightly through the 3-D effect. It disappeared from the
picture, actual seeming to curve as it went off the edge ... but that
was just an optical illusion, she felt sure. 'No good at all, 'Jesus went
on. 'Joe's granddad was a whoremaster of the purest sense, as you
well know, 'Becka. Spent his whole life pecker-led. And when he
came up here, do you know what we said? 'No room!' that's what we
said.' Jesus leaned forward, still holding His staff. ''Go see Mr.
Splitfoot down below,' we said. 'You'll find your haven-home, all
right. But you may find you new landlord a hard taskmaster,' we
said.' Incredibly, Jesus winked at her ... and that was when 'Becka
fled, shrieking, from the house.
She stopped in the backyard, panting, her hair, a mousy blond
that was really not much of any color at all, hanging in her face. Her
heart was beating so fast in her chest that it frightened her. No one
had heard her shriekings and carryings-on, thank the Lord; she and
Joe lived far out on the Nista Road, and their nearest neighbors were
the Brodskys were half a mile away. If anyone had heard her, they
would have thought there was a crazywoman down at Joe and 'Becka
Paulson's.
