closed drapes, and she raised a hand to the cool glass. She looked into Mark’s smiling face and smiled herself.
Her fingers slid across the smooth surface, and her whole body felt alive, happy. There was no going back to those days when she thought he was a colossal tool. Too late. She loved everything about him. She loved the sound of his voice and his laughter. She loved the way he smelled and the touch of his hand on her arm or the small of her back. She loved how she felt when he looked at her or simply walked into a room. She loved that his hard shell contained a soft heart.
She didn’t know how he felt about her, though. Oh, she figured he liked her. Of all the people with whom he could have chosen to share his night with the cup, he’d chosen her. But like wasn’t love. She knew he liked having sex with her, but sex wasn’t a commitment.
She lowered her hand to her side. Fear knotted her stomach just below her happy heart. She was giving serious thought to changing her whole life for a man who liked her. She’d never changed for a man, and she ran through a mental list of all the reasons why staying in Seattle was a good plan. Reasons that had nothing to do with Mark.
She liked Seattle. She liked the feel of it and she liked the cooler weather. She liked being close to her sister and she liked the few local commercials she’d acted in. Maybe she’d try out again for a role in local theater.
Not Oklahoma! though. She couldn’t sing, and Mark clearly hated musicals. She smiled, but her amusement was short-lived. She had to tell him about the bonus. It had been weighing on her mind, and she knew she had to tell him. Hopefully, once she explained it, it wouldn’t be a big deal. The money had nothing to do with her feelings for Mark. She’d agreed to the bonus before she’d even met him. She’d fallen for him despite her attempts not to, but lately the money had begun to feel like a deep secret she was keeping from him.
Motion in the doorway caught her eye and she turned. Mark stood there watching her, one shoulder shoved against the frame, and her happy little heart swelled at the sight of him.
“I didn’t hear you drive up.”
He crossed his arms over his wide chest, and his gaze raked her from head to toe. “Ten thousand dollars is a lot of money. You’re good, Chelsea. Maybe even worth it.”
She didn’t think he meant it as a compliment, and it felt liked she’d been stuck in the chest with a pin. “Are you talking about the bonus?”
“Yeh.” He didn’t look angry. Which was good. “I just had it explained to me.”
“I was going to tell you.” No, not angry. Just closed off like before, but she could explain. He’d understand. “I was just waiting for the right time.”
“A good time would have been the day you showed up on my porch. Get it right out in the open. Or if that just wasn’t a good time, how about all the other times I assumed you were here because you wanted to be here? How about all the times I made an ass out of myself for thinking you’re someone you’re not?”
“I’m the same person today that I was yesterday.”
“I don’t know who you are.”
“Yes you do.” She moved toward him. She could explain. Make it all okay. She was good at making everything okay. “I should have told you. I wanted to, but I guess I was afraid you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh, I understand. I understand that you think I’m a sucker.”
She shook her head. “I’ve never thought that.”
“I used to see ulterior motives from a mile off, but when you showed up, my life was such crap that I wasn’t thinking straight. You used your body like a high-class hooker and I fell for it. I was a sucker.”
Her feet came to a sudden halt in the middle of the room, and everything in her body stopped too. “What? I didn’t use my body. It’s not like that at all.”
“It’s exactly like that. You needed ten grand to get your surgery. I am just a means to get what you want.” He straightened. “You didn’t have to fuck me, Chelsea. You didn’t have to go that far.”
She gasped and shook her head. “That isn’t why I had sex with you. I tried not to, but… ” She lifted a hand, palm up, then dropped it to her side. “I tried to keep it professional.”
“You didn’t try that damn hard.”
She couldn’t argue with that. She hadn’t tried that hard. “In the beginning, I was here for the bonus. Ten thousand dollars is a lot of money. Maybe not to you, but it is to me.” She pointed to her chest. “I didn’t ask for the bonus. The Chinooks offered, and I jumped at the chance. I’m not going to apologize for that. In the beginning, I did stay for the money. You made my life difficult, but that’s not why I slept with you and that’s not why I’m still here.”
“Then why are you still here?”
She looked at him standing there. Closed off to his anger and to her. She loved him. She loved him more than she’d ever loved another man. “Because I got to know you and you began to mean a lot to me.” Her heart was breaking, and there was nothing she could do but tell him the truth. The terrifying truth. “I love you, Mark.”
He laughed, but there was no pleasure in it. Then, finally, she saw some anger in his eyes. Cold, stony anger. “Nice touch, but I’m not a sucker. At least not today.”
She’d just bared everything to him, and he didn’t believe her. How was that possible? Couldn’t he see how much the truth hurt? “It’s the truth. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, but I did.”
“You expect me to believe that?” His jaw clenched. “Now? After everything?”
Anger and hurt and desperation coalesced in her stomach and chest and pinched the backs of her eyes. Tears pooled along her bottom lids, then slipped over her lashes. “It’s true.”
“The tears are a nice touch. You’re a better actress than I thought.”
“I’m not acting.” She brushed the moisture from her cheek. The sick feeling in her stomach was far too real. He had to see that. She had to make him hear and believe her. “I love you.” She pointed a finger at him. “You made me love you even when I knew it was a really bad idea. You made me love everything about you.” She dropped her hand to her side as another tear rolled down her cheek. “You made me love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my whole life.”
“ife
He shook his head. “Right.”
“It’s true. Being with you these past few months has meant a lot to me. Please, believe me.”
“Even if I believed you, it doesn’t matter.”
It had to matter. She’d never pleaded with any other man. “I love you.”
He looked into her eyes and pounded the last nail into her heart. “I don’t love you.”
The air left her lungs as if he’d hit her and she turned her face away. He didn’t love her. She’d known he didn’t, but hearing it from his own mouth hurt more than she’d ever imagined. “I knew you’d hurt me,” she whispered through her pain. Raw pain and rage, at him and herself, swelled so big she couldn’t hold it in. “I was right about you from the beginning. You’re just another celebrity who thinks he can use people.”
“Sweetheart, you used me to get your hands on ten thousand dollars.”
“I told you it wasn’t like that. I’m not a user.” She looked back up at him. At angry brown eyes set in his face that she loved with her entire broken heart and aching soul. “But you are. You mess with people’s lives, then move on with your own. You don’t care. All you care about is getting what you want.” Her hands curled into fists. She wouldn’t hit him. No, but she wanted to. “You’re no different from every other celebrity I’ve worked for. You’re selfish and spoiled. I let myself think you were different.” She swallowed hard, past the bitter lump in her throat. “I let myself forget who you really are. You’re the man who insulted me the first day we met. You’re just a colossal tool.”
He laughed again. The same bitter laugh as before. “And you just said you love me.”
The most agonizing part of it all was that she did love him. No matter that he didn’t love her. She meant nothing to him. He’d pursued her, got her in bed, and now it was over. “And you always said you don’t play unless you can win. Congratulations, Mark. You win. I lose.” Everything.
He shrugged. “The Chinooks don’t know you slept with me, and I won’t be the one to tell them. You only have a few weeks until your contract is up and then the money is yours. You’ve earned it.”
She turned back toward the desk and grabbed her purse. Her throat got tight, hot, and she pushed past him on her way out the door. The last thing she wanted to do was break down in front of him. The last thing she wanted to hear was more of his laughter.
Somehow she managed to make it to her car. Her hands shook as she shoved the key into the ignition. She half expected him to run after her and tell her to come back. That he believed her and he’d only said she meant nothing
