Kitty-Kitty, Bang-Bang

one.” I suck my teeth, playfully swattin’ at ’im. I can’t front, a bitch’s feelin’ real comfortable wit’ this muhfucka. “I’m dead-ass. You got me wide open, baby. I’ve fucked wit’ mad bitches and plenty of ’em been bad as fuck. But there was always sumthin’ missin’.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“You.”

I blink, blink again. Surprised by this nigga’s answer. Don’t let this muhfucka gee you, ho. This nigga’s a master manipulator.

Ho, get ova ya’self. Let da nigga live. E’eryone has a past. You of all people should know this. “How ’bout you tell me ’bout all’a these hoes you been dickin’.”

“All of ’em?”

“Yeah…all of ’em from da last five years to now. You can start wit’ da most recent, then work ya way backward.” He laughs. I don’t.

“Damn, aiight.” He glances at the clock. It’s almost eleven at night. “Yo, we better blaze a fatty for this.” I laugh as he slips outta bed. Watch his naked, muscular body go ’cross the room. He takes a blunt from off the dresser, then sparks it. I sit up in bed, starin’ at his swingin’ dick as he comes back to bed. He lays ’cross it, takes two deep pulls, then passes it to me. “Da only reason I’m gonna spit shit raw to you is ’cause like I said, I’m big on you, so I’ma tell you shit I ain’t ever told anyone else.”

As we pass the blunt back ’n forth, he starts off tellin’ me how he got the name Daddy Long Stroke; tells me ’bout his days as a stripper, then starts rattlin’ off’a buncha states he’s had hoes in. And the ones he still does, fourteen. Fourteen?! Ohmiiiiigod this nigga is a travelin’ whore. He tells me e’ery way he’s fucked ’em; tells me ’bout the threesomes and trains he’s got down on; how bitches have paid for the dick; how they lace ’im wit’ wears ’n jewelry ’n shit. How he’s had ’em thinkin’ he was broke and homeless. He tells me ’bout some rich bitch he fucks wit’ out in LA who asked ’im to bust his nuts up in ’er so she can have’a baby; how she hits ’im wit’ five gees a month and keeps ’im on-call for when she wants the dick. He tells me ’bout some midget chick from Georgia he was fuckin’, then fucked ’er cousin in ’er own bed. Tells me how most of the chicks he’s met are either Myspace or Blackplanet hoes searchin’ for dick and companionship. Tells me ’bout all the psychos and stalkers he’s had. Tells me ’bout the restrainin’ orders; and e’erything else in between.

By the time this nigga finishes tellin’ me ’bout all’a his sexcapades wit’ these stupid ass bitches, we’re puffin’ our second blunt and my head is spinnin’ from tryna keep up. On some real shit, I’m surprised he tells me all this shit. I hit the blunt, then pass it back to ’im, lettin’ e’erything he’s said wrap ’round my brain.

I fall back on the bed laughin’ my ass off, imaginin’ this thick muhfucka bangin’ up a midget. “Ohmiiigod, I still can’t believe you actually fucked a midget. You’se a real nasty fucka.”

“They’re called lil’ people,” he says, laughin’ wit’ me. “But, yeah, I ain’t gonna front. I’ve been a wild cat when it comes to da pussy. Always prowlin’ ’n shit. But, I always keep it real wit’ them broads.”

“Mmmph. If them birds were stupid ’nough to catch feelin’s and get all caught up in you, then they got what da fuck they deserved. But, don’t eva think you gonna have a bitch like me stalkin’ or huntin’ ya ass down; not gonna happen.”

“I don’t plan on givin’ you a reason to,” he says, climbin’ back into bed. He kisses me on the lips. “Yo, I wanna stay da night.”

I stare at ’im. Sumthin’ tells me to tell ’im, “Hell no!” But I don’t. “And do what?”

“Make love to you, hold you in my arms ’n wake up to ya sexy ass in da mornin’.”

Ohhhhkay, yes, a bitch is grinnin’. But, I keep it cute. “You can stay, tonight. But don’t think this is gonna become a habit. And, puhleeze don’t think you’re gonna eva get a fuckin’ dime outta me.”

He shakes his head, sittin’ up in the bed ’n proppin’ two pillows in back of ’im. “Yo, I don’t want ya paper, ma.”

“Well, good ’cause a bitch ain’t givin’ none out. So there should be no confusion. Now, tell me. What is it a muhfucka like you really want? And don’t playground me.”

He stares at me. “Nah, no playgroundin’ you; I’m dead-up.” The way the nigga is lookin’ at me is makin’ me uncomfortable. He’s lookin’ at me in a way I can’t remember another muhfucka eva lookin’ at me. He pulls me into his arms. “All I want is you, ma.”

I look up at ’im, squint my eyes. “I’m not on da menu.”

He leans in, kisses me on the lips. “Maybe not tonight you’re not. But, you will be.”

“Wrong answer, muhfucka.”

He laughs. “Yeah, aiiight; that’s what’s ya mouth says. But I’ma wait on you. And when you ready to serve it up to me, I’m scoopin’ ya ass up. And that’s on e’erything.”

He wets his fingas wit’ spit, then slides his hand between my thighs and starts playin’ wit’ my clit. I spread my legs wide, bendin’ at the knees. Give ’im full access to my wet pussy. The muhfucka slips two fingas in ’n slow strokes my hole ’n clit. I reach ova and start strokin’ his dick. Then lean ova into his lap and kiss the head of his rock-hard cock. I take ’im into my warm mouth, then suck the skin off the muhfucka ’til we both are moanin’.

When I’ve givin’ ’im all the throat work he’s gonna get, I pull up off’a his dick, and lay all the way back. Let the muhfucka finish stirrin’ my pussy. Let ’im strum along my clit ’til I buck my hips and cream all ova the nigga’s fingas.

THE FOLLOWIN’ MORNIN’ I WAKE UP WONDERIN’ WHY I’M NOT stickin’ to the script and feedin’ this nigga wit’ a long-handled spoon. I know his ass had no muthafuckin’ business stayin’ the night, but a bitch can’t front. It felt good havin’ a muhfucka in my bed, and it felt even betta bein’ wrapped up in a muhfucka’s arms.

“Yo, check it. I’ma be hangin’ wit’ my mans ’n ’em tomorrow night, but I wanna get at you on Sunday. Maybe we can go into da city ’n chill ’n shit.”

“I’ll let you know,” I tell ’em, eyein’ ’im as he goes in ’n outta the bathroom. “I have plans wit’ my girl, so it all depends.”

“Oh, word? What ya’ll gettin’ into?”

“Nigga, I gave you some pussy; that’s it. Not permission to be all up in mine.”

He laughs, comin’ outta the bathroom brushin’ his teeth. “Yeah, aiight. You talkin’ that shit now, but you already know.”

The nigga drops his towel. I ain’t gonna front. He’s lookin’ real comfy standin’ here butt-ass naked. And I’m not sure how I should feel ’bout it.

Keep shit real. You dig da nigga.

Yeah, I do. Still—

Bitch, take da shit for what it is. Da nigga got good dick ’n good tongue. Let ’im keep eatin’ ya ass ’n lickin’ ya pussy, then dismiss da muhfucka when you’ve had’a ’nough.

I’m sittin’ at the foot of my bed, watchin’ the nigga lotion his naked body, then step into his boxers. Droplets of water are still on his back. I wanna get up ’n lick the shit off’a the muhfucka. But I don’t. I glance at the clock. 8:47 a.m.

“All I know is it’s time for you to hurry up ’n bounce. I’ve had’a ’nough of ya cocky ass.”

He laughs, slippin’ his wife beater ova his head, then puttin’ on his jeans. He pulls out his cell. It dawns on me that I don’t eva hear it ring when I’m wit’ ’im. I contemplate askin’ the muhfucka why, but decide I don’t really give’a fuck. He walks up on me and pulls me up off’a the bed.

“Listen, I wasn’t poppin’ a buncha BS last night. I meant e’erything I said to you. On e’erything, yo, I’m feelin’ you.”

I keep my eyes locked on his. “Enough to give up all ya bitches?” I ask, raisin’ a brow.

“Yo, I don’t have’a buncha bitches. I gave ’em all up a minute ago. The only one I’m still fuckin’ wit’ is my peeps in LA.”

“Ohhhhkay. Isn’t that da chick who wanted you to give ’er a baby?”

He nods. “Yeah, but I deaded that. Ain’t nuthin’ happenin’ wit’ that. I’m still wrappin’ it up.”

“Let me tell you this. And be clear. If I was eva to decide to fuck wit’ you on some solo type shit, that lil’ situation wit’ chickie would need to be shut down wit’ e’erything else. I don’t cheat. And I don’t share. So, understand this. If you know you ain’t ready to stop slingin’ da dick, then you need’a let shit play out da way it is.”

I step outta his embrace. “Yo, you think I ever wanted to be on some settle down type shit? I didn’t think I