The Man Handler

rendezvous. “I’m sure you have enough women already on your fan club roster you can call up for a dinner date.”

“Yeah, I could,” he says, laughing. “But they ain’t you.”

The elevator door opens. “And they’ll never be,” I say, stepping off. I turn to face him as the door starts to close. “Thanks for the ride.” He opens his mouth to say something, but the doors shut in his face.

I finally make it to the bathroom and rush to an empty stall to remove my liner. I reach into my bag, pull out a small container of wet wipes, then pull up my skirt and pull down my panties. I wipe my pussy. Now, I don’t know about you, but I use wet wipes after every piss and shit. I am a stickler for keeping a baby-fresh snatch and ass, no matter what time of day it is. I place a dry liner in the center of my underwear, then pull ’em up. I wash and dry my hands, then reach into my bag and pull out my designer make-up case, pulling out my supplies: lip liner and lip gloss. I’ve never been one for a bunch of make up because I don’t need it, but I’m telling you, I love the Queen Collection by Cover Girl. It keeps me looking flawless all day, every day.

Nahdirah walks into the bathroom as I am gliding a coat of pearled peach lip gloss over my succulent lips. “Hey, girl,” she says, coming up to the sink next to me to wash her hands. “What’d you think about that meeting downstairs?”

“Well, if they are really going to look at each department like they say they are, then I think some of us are about to be on the unemployment line.” I didn’t want to sound like the prophet of doom or anything, but companies are downsizing all over the country, so I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. I really hope my ass won’t be one of the ones scrambling for another job.

“Let’s hope not,” she says, drying her hands. “I have almost ten years here, and the last thing I wanna be doing is looking for another job.”

“I know that’s right,” I say.

“I saw you over there talking to Everett’s fine ass. He still tryna take you out?”

I shrug, fixing a few loose strands of hair. “Girl, I don’t know what he’s trying to do.”

“Oh, please. Even a blind man can see he has it bad for you. He practically salivates and pants every time he sees you.”

That’s because he’s a two-legged dog. I roll my eyes, heading toward the door. “Well, he can keep wagging and salivating all he wants. I’m not interested.”

She follows behind me. “You on your way to your office?”

“Yep,” I state, silently hoping she’s not going to come sit up in my space and beat me in the head with stories about her and her man, or any of the dumb-ass bitches around here—not today. Unfortunately, I can’t be so lucky.

“Good, I’ll walk with you.”

Fucking great!

“Me, Samantha, and Regina are going to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch today; you wanna go?”

I shoot her a look, opening my office door. “No, thanks,” I say, closing the door behind us. “You know I’m not beat for going out to eat with any of these chicks around here.”

She grunts, plopping down into one of the leather chairs. “Humph. I know, I know. I thought I’d ask anyway. I don’t know how you can come to work every day and not have one friend here, other than me. You know, most of the women here aren’t as bad as you think they are.”

I sit in the chair across from her. “Well, that may be true. But I’m not interested in finding out. I’ve never been one for being overly friendly with a bunch of chicks, and I don’t think I need to start now. The little I know about them, and the little they know about me, is perfectly fine with me.”

“Okay, anywaaaaay,” she says, quickly changing the subject, “why won’t you go out with that fine hunk of man upstairs?”

“Who you talking about? Everett?”

“Uh, yeah…you know who I’m talking about.”

“Because I’m not interested.”

“And why not?”

“Because I’m not,” I insist, slowly getting annoyed that this nosey bitch is trying to press the issue.

“Well, there has to be a reason,” she pushes. “So, what is it?”

“For the thousandth time, I don’t believe in dating anyone I work with, or around, or who works for the same company as me. That is a no-no for me.”

“Why?”

I sigh. Oh my God, I think, shifting in my seat, this bitch is going to have me curse her out. I stare at her, trying to figure out what part of the “I’m not interested” she doesn’t get. “I really think it’s bad business to get too personal with someone you work with. When shit doesn’t work, then someone ends up feeling some kind of way, which creates a bunch of drama for you, or makes it unbearable to work in the same place. Most of the time, it just doesn’t work.”

“That’s not true. Look at Sabrina and Nathan. They’ve been together almost eight years.”

I blink, blink again.

Nathan hasn’t worked here in almost three years because of all the drama that came with his workplace romance with Sabrina’s dumb ass, which is exactly my point. So what the fuck is this dumb bitch talking about? Go figure! Anyway, Sabrina is another office tramp who is always trying to keep shit stirred up. I can’t stand her. She’s the same bitch whose man I fucked right under her damn nose. She’s always talking about what her man would never do, how she has him wrapped around her finger, blah, blah, blah. Bitches like her need to wake the fuck up with that dumb shit. You don’t know what the fuck your man wouldn’t do. Trust me. And because I don’t like her bogus ass, I slipped him my cell number last year at our tired-ass holiday party (the one I was forced to attend because the president and his cronies were attending). Nathan, along with a few other chicks’ men, was checking me out on the sly the whole night. All while Sabrina’s all hugged up on him, laughing and smiling like she was the happiest woman in the world, her so-called “perfect man” was ogling me.

Obviously, he didn’t share her sentiments because if he had, he wouldn’t have called me, and he damn sure wouldn’t have been fucking me as if my pussy was his life support, begging me for more. He moaned and groaned louder than me. He whispered and whimpered, and mumbled shit I didn’t understand. And he got on my damn nerves so bad with all his screaming about how good the pussy was and yelling out my name, that I literally shoved my damn panties in his mouth to shut him the hell up so I could concentrate. And, yes, I fucked him again because I could. Definitely not because the dick was all that. It was a nice, sturdy eight inches but his balls were about the size of cashews. He had about as much rhythm as a paraplegic. And this was that bitch’s door prize. Go figure! Now whenever I look at her dumb ass, I chuckle to myself.

“Nathan is a dog, and you know it. How many times did Sabrina come to work all stressed out, looking like a damn raggedy Ann doll ’cause she had caught him screwing some chick from the job? He fucked at least four chicks, black and white, on at least three floors in this building. She worked herself up so much over his sorry ass that her damn hair started falling out. So, please, let’s not use them as an example to state your case.”

“Okay, then. Look at me and Jake. We dated and worked together. And now, here we are, almost four years later, still going strong.”

“And how many times before you started going strong did you come to work worrying about what he was doing, what someone was saying, or finding out who else he had fucked? Every week you were catching attitudes with chicks you saw all up in his face ’cause you didn’t trust his ass.”

A few times this bitch was about to get her ass beat in the parking lot, but I won’t remind her of that. We work with a bunch of Union and Essex County switchblade bitches, and trust me when I tell you, a few of them are fucking nutty as hell. Nahdirah almost caught it several times, fucking with Jake’s ass.

She waves me off. “Oh, please. That was in the beginning of our relationship. I am so over that now.”

“Oh, really? Is that before or after he left this place? Or before or after baby number two? ’Cause you know like I know, if he was still working here, you’d be going through the same shit.”

“Now, I didn’t say messing with someone you work with doesn’t come with a set of challenges. ’Cause it does, but it can still work. Besides, Jake and I have both grown since then. And my boo is all about me.”

“And how do you know that?”

She places her hand on her hip, raising up in her seat. “Do you know something I don’t? ’Cause if so, then fill