Win or lose, it ends here.”
Nina answered in a soft shout, “I know.”
“I’ve always been proud of you, Nina. I guess it’s no secret that I think of you as that daughter I never had. I’m sorry if I was tough on you in the old days. You know, during your training and all. But I always knew you could be the best so I felt I had to push you. I figured that was the only way to get through that stubborn noggin’ of yours.”
Nina knew Shep to be right: this was the last mission. Odds were pretty good that she would never see him again. Despite plenty of self-confidence, Nina knew she would be operating far away from any support with only air drops and radio messages as assistance. In addition to The Order’s marching army, she would have to contend with all manner of hostile predators as well as groups of Mutants, Wraiths, and Roachbots swarming the countryside slaughtering stragglers and mopping up human resistance in the wake of Voggoth’s offensive.
All that lay in front of her and she knew this was probably the last time she would see Shep, a man who had been like a father to her for years. Could she just fly away, angry with him? No, but she could not pretend that she still believed the lies.
She burst loud enough that he could hear pleading in her words above the racing rotors, “What did I do? Shep! What did I do to chase him away?”
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“Trevor and I-we were-we were together. I saw it, Shep. Look, I have pictures. I know it with all my heart. But something happened-“
“Now, now, Nina, that’s not-“
“Something happened and he didn’t want me anymore. Oh, god, Shep, what did I do that he didn’t want me anymore? I can’t live without knowing. It’s eating me up inside. I think I betrayed him, or something. Did I betray Trevor? Is that why he couldn’t stand to be with me anymore? How did I lose him? I have to know!”
She saw Shep struggle with a great weight but she would not release him. Not now. The time for lies had passed.
“Ah, hell, I suppose it don’t matter none no more. If it does, I guess I’ll just have to live with whatever trouble it brings,” and he took hold of her shoulders and settled into the role of a father comforting his daughter. “When you were under the spell of that implant, yeah, they used you to get to Trevor.”
She felt a painful sting of tears. Her heart beat as if it might explode. All her worst fears seemed realized.
“But listen, Nina, all that happened before you and Trevor got together. Do you hear me? Before. That wasn’t your fault, you hear? Trevor saved you from them. He made sure we got you outta there. He didn’t blame you. He never did.”
“I don’t-I don’t understand. Help me, Shep. Please.”
“You two were something else. And it did this old man’s heart good to see you with him. I don’t know much about that type of thing; I was never one for romance and all. But you two were the real deal. I think-I think maybe he’s the only one in the world who really knew you. And I’m gonna guess that the same goes for you to him. You went through a change, Nina. Not too much, understand. You were as good a soldier as ever-maybe better-with him there for you.”
Her eyes left his and darted back and forth as if reading words floating in the air.
“Then I-then you discovered the memory thing. I forgot all that, didn’t I?”
“That’s right, yep. No one saw it coming. When Johnny and Maple had to cut that cancer outta your head it took away an entire year of your life with it. I’m sorry, Nina.”
“But that-that doesn’t explain why-it doesn’t explain why we didn’t try again. I have to believe that I would want to-that he would-“
“It killed him, Nina. It killed him for you to forget. But there was something more. We were all told-we were told never to say anything to you. That it’d be treason to tell you about any of it.”
The pleading returned, “Why? That doesn’t make sense! Why?”
“You heard him at the meeting, Nina. There’s something more going on to all this. It ain’t no secret that Trevor has a line to someone higher up the chain of command, if you get my meaning.”
Nina did. She remembered the Old Man in the cabin, the one whose footsteps made no sound; whose touch created a bridge between her mind and Trevor’s.
She remembered asking that mysterious Old Man what Trevor needed to ease the pain; that maybe she should go get Trevor’s wife, Ashley.
“That ain’t gunna do the trick, missy. Trev, here-well, he’s with who he had to be with; more like a job than anythin’ else. Truth is, you exactly what he needs, Nina Forest.”
As she recalled the words of that strange Old Man, Shepherd gave them meaning.
“I don’t know what all happened, Nina, but from what I can gather, something he couldn’t control sort of got in the way. I’m guessing it has to do with finding Ashley and their kid a few months later, but whatever the reason I’m telling you he never stopped-well-it killed him to lose you. You hear me? I don’t think he ever had a choice.”
All the loose ends tied together for Nina Forest. Trevor still loved her, that’s why he had traveled into hostile territory to save her; that’s why the alternate Nina from another Earth had used her as bait to lure him. That’s why Nina needed to be the one to save The Emperor from himself after The Order turned all his grief against him.
Nina realized that even Ashley had known this, that’s why she had insisted on Nina being the one to solve the mystery behind the assassination; why she had requested Nina to track Trevor through the wilderness. The Old Man had known it, too-what had he said to her when he had first walked into the room?
“Oh, now, that’s right. You don’t remember a lick, do ya? Probably for the best and all. Yep, definitely for the best. We had a talk once, you and me, about our friend here.”
“Of course,” she said aloud to herself. “He knew me. I must have met him before I lost my memories-he probably told me why…”
“What’s that?”
“Nothing. It’s not important now.”
A voice joined the conversation. A shout actually.
“Captain!” Vince Caesar-loaded with gear and helmets and goggles-cupped his hands and yelled from alongside the helicopter. “Is there a problem?”
She waved at him. The type of aggravated wave that told Caesar to get back into the helicopter and wait until Hell freezes over if that’s what it took. He did just that.
“Nina, I’m sorry,” Shep consoled.
“It’s okay,” she actually smiled. “It’s good-it’s good to know. I have to go now.”
“I reckon so, yeah. But, listen here, Nina Forest, you give them hell. Do you hear? If this is it then let’s go out with a bang.”
The obsession of not-knowing faded faster than she thought possible. What came, instead, was a feeling of anger. Anger at the powers of Armageddon for stealing a chance at happiness from her. At putting her and Trevor through so much. At cheating her from what was rightfully hers.
She glanced at Shepherd. Her eyes narrowed to slits. Her body shivered ever-so-slightly and a hint of devilish red glared in her cheeks.
“Hell, Shep? They have no idea. But I’m going to show them, Shep. I’m going to teach it to them.”
She quickly placed a hand on his cheek in a silent goodbye, swiveled around sharply, and marched to the Blackhawk. A moment later the helicopter rose from the destroyed tarmac of McConnell Air Force Base and flew off to the west.
Jerry Shepherd watched her go.
10. Decapitation
Anita Nehru sat in a small chair gazing out a second floor window. Glare from the midday sun cast her in an angelic light. Her dark hair fell lovingly on her shoulders; its luster had returned in the seven days since leaving the Red Rock facility.
A sandwich and a bowl of soup waited for her attention, but her focus remained on something outside.
“You must eat your lunch before it is no longer hot,” Omar encouraged from across the bedroom as he fit a
